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Document: Baby Bono

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Author: Baby Bono

Baby Bono

Author: Baby Bono

 

BabyBono's history of nappies.

 

It's dawned on me that if I don't document some of my more distant memories I may forget them altogether, and as the important ones are AB related it makes sense to make them available to other ABs on the 'net. Here goes......

My first memory of nappies was wearing them as a child. I remember wearing them in bed at night (maybe in a cot/crib). I wore cloth with transparent plastic pants. I would have been about three years old, as it was in my parent's first house which we left when I was four. So this would have been in 1974. I can really remember the feel of my plastic pants as I knelt up in bed, with the soles of my feet touching my nappy.

At about that time I remember being called into the bathroom for a bath, and our next door neighbour's child (about my age) was already in the bath. I can vividly remember pulling down my plastic pants, and instinctively knowing that my mother was the only person who could take off my cloth nappy, because of the pins I was not able to do it myself. I also remember the red marks that the elastic of the plastic pants would leave on my skin. I also have a vague recollection of fear of being pricked by a nappy pin!

I next remember my sister being on the scene, still at that first house. I remember that she started off in cloth but quickly moved over to 'Snugglers disposables'. I remember the feel of the plastic of these nappies, and I don't remember any way of holding them together (ie I don't remember any sticky tapes). There was a certain amount of jealousy towards her soft 'new' nappies!

We moved when I was four(ish), and I was dry day and night by that point. I remember seeing 'Snugglers' wrappers in my sister's room but no actual nappies. I remember finding one or two nappy liners in the bottom of one of her drawers. I naughtily put these in my underwear an enjoyed the feeling. Probably my first AB experience (even if I wasn't an adult!).

I made friends with the neighbours' children who were about my age. I remember one incident when we were playing 'Mummies and Daddies' in the garden, I guess I was about six. I got to play the part of the baby, which made a change as I usually played the part of the father. I remember saying to everyone I was going to ask my mum to put a nappy on me, which I did. She said yes, until I stupidly asked if I could 'go in it'. 'NO!' was her reply and I was sent to my room. The subject was dropped.

Over Easter of this year I caught a very strange virus. It affected my calf muscles and meant I couldn't stand or walk. I could still move my legs, but didn't have enough strength to put my weight on them. This meant I couldn't get to the toilet unless I crawled on my knees, and knelt against the bowl to pee! My doctor insisted that I should not crawl on my knees and should be carried everywhere, including to the toilet. I had a bed set up downstairs next to the lounge and the bathroom, and things started off with my mum taking me to the toilet, but I got embarrassed and started crawling there instead. I did vaguely bring up the subject of nappies with my mother, but she reassured me that she never expected me to wear nappies. (Bummer!). I had this same virus at Easter for the following two years, and it lessened in severity each time.

About this time my fetish for wearing nappies went mad and it was all I thought about for weeks. I tried beach towels with bin-liners, lots and lots of tissues in my underwear, anything I could find. I thought about how I could get my mother to understand my needs. So I made excuses about waking up at night and needing the toilet and only just making it there in time. She said I should take my old potty that was in the loft and use it if I knew I couldn't make it in time. 'A result' I thought. Unfortunately I got a severe telling off the first time I used it - she had said it in jest, she was teasing me. Ooops!

Soon after this I started going to school in town, about ten miles away. This gave me the opportunity to buy disposable nappies, hide them in my bag, and take them home on the school bus, without my parents knowing about them. Over my school life I must have bought every make and model of toddler/child size nappy going. From well known brands, to cheapo local chemist brands.

Once I had used one of the nappies I had bought, I used to feel very, very guilty. I would also think about how much money I had wasted, especially as I had to earn it from paper rounds as I never had an allowance. I wanted to throw away my nappies, but I always thought my parents would find them in the rubbish bin, so I used to hide them under next- door's oil tank. Within a few days, I'd be back in nappies, and very grateful I hadn't thrown them away and wasted more money - until the next time I felt guilty!

I used to tape the toddler nappies together so they were large enough for me to wear. Whilst this was not very satisfactory, it was the best I had. One day, just after I had finished playing in the lounge, my sister return home earlier then expected. Whilst I was fully clothed again by that point I hadn't had time to take my large nappy upstairs in order to hide it. She asked "Is that yours?". I replied that I had found the nappy in the driveway. She looked very suspiciously at me as she could see it was larger than a normal nappy. I acted out the 'throwing it in the rubbish' plan, hid it upstairs in my room and got away with it, somehow!

At about age 16 I got caught in school once, by two friends, who were sat at my desk whilst I was in lesson in one of the school labs. They were being nosy and looked in my bag, only to find a three pack of toddler-sized transparent-blue plastic pants. They laughed at me (in private) and I lied about the fact that I'd bought them for a neighbour who'd been in a car accident, and had a child to care for and couldn't get to the shops. They laughed at this and mysteriously the subject dropped!

That summer my folks went away on holiday and I was allowed to stay at home on my own. Apart from having a great party in their absence (!), I also had time to set up my old cot, which they've still got, in the loft. I slept well every night, even if one end was supported by another bed because I couldn't fit in it if I had both ends of the cot on! This was about the time I got over that guilty feeling of wearing nappies, and the money I'd spent. I've now learn to accept it as part of the cute, cuddly side of me.

At 18, just before I moved away to go to University, my sister came into my room where my mother and myself were chatting. She held in her hand, a rolled up disposable nappy. She said 'Is this yours? I found it on my window sill'. I said that I had seen someone throw it over our wall, as he walked down the narrow lane from the housing estate behind us as he was on his way to the local shop. I claimed to have intended to throw it from my sister's window at him as he walked back from the shop. They seem to fall for it. Of course, in reality, it was one of mine that I had used and intended to throw into the already dirty lane. Just before I got to the window, the phone rang and so I left it next to her window and forgot all about it! Luckily she found it about four hours after, so it wasn't warm :)

In my first year of University I lived in halls of residence and discovered a local disability shop that sold adult-sized nappies, Molnlycke-Optifit. I was a keen key smith, and made numerous master keys to get into the kitchens of the Hall. One of these keys was used by friends on the 1st April to break into my room and hide it's entire contents. When I returned to my room, all the furniture was gone, except for the chest of drawers, under which I hid all my supplies. I can't think why they didn't take that as the drawers could be easily removed, and then the frame moved. I have a feeling that they must have seen what was underneath, and then removed the bed, desk, and wardrobe instead!

After a few years I left University, having finished my course, and moved to London in search of a career. I still knew of nowhere else to buy my nappies, so I used to go back to the old disability shop on the train, buy my nappies and come home! A day trip to buy nappies, if you like.

In early '94 I got back together with an old girlfriend, Ikkie, who I had previously been seeing whilst at University. She still lived there, and this created a problem for me buying supplies, as I would have to take them to her house first before bringing them back to London. So I eventually plucked up the courage to tell her my secret. She seemed to understand the sexual excitement of my nappies, although she told me that she didn't want to find me in bed in a baby-grow, so I've chosen to leave my secret there. I get to wear nappies in bed with her, the rest I can fantasize about.

In July '95 I found out that my housemate (who I knew from University) knew about my nappies. I saw my copy of Deadline magazine had fallen down the back of his desk. As it was this month's issue, and he hadn't even asked to borrow it, I decided to retrieve it. When I lifted it up, I saw one of my nappies, unused, sticking out from under one of the desk drawers. I was immediately filled with shock and debated for hours as to what I would do or say to him when he came back off holiday the following week. I thought about removing it as it was unused, but then I thought he would know that I knew that he knew! So I left it there. The following week he returned and his new girlfriend insisted that he tidy his room. They tidied his room whilst I was at work one day, and when I returned I found a black plastic rubbish sack in the corridor, with my nappy lying on top of it. I reclaimed the nappy, still unused, and put out the rubbish. I often wonder how the conversation went between the two of them. He must have had some explaining to do to his girlfriend in order to prove it wasn't his!

In early October '95 I went to see my parents for a few days as I hadn't seen them for about twelve months. Whilst there I wore nappies at night. I've been working really hard recently and was shattered on the first night, but I needed to call work the following day at around 9am. My parents didn't have a spare alarm clock, so my mother promised that she'd wake me before we went to work in the morning. When I woke up it was 4pm and there was a cold cup of tea next to the bed. More importantly, when I woke up a realised the duvet had slid between my legs (as though I was riding a horse!) and was only partially covering my diapered behind. Later that evening my mother claimed to have woken me up when she left me my tea, I just didn't remember. She gave no clues as to whether she'd seen my nappy or not. If she had, I wonder what she thought!?

In November '95 I met up with Joshy, and it was fantastic to talk face to face with someone else with a similar fetish. The important thing was talking face to face. I've found it's very easy to say things on the 'net, hiding behind a pseudonym and a monitor. Whilst I don't use my real name here, that's mainly for my safety, anyone who speaks to me directly can know my real name.

As you can probably tell, over time I've learned to live with my fetish as a part of me, and I've grown to love it. I've conquered my guilt and have become a more open- minded and accepting individual generally. I don't really care who knows, although I don't have any intentions of telling anyone unless they ask. I wouldn't expect them to ram their fetish down my throat, so neither will I.

Anyway, time to sign off.