This story is completely true. It is based off of my memories and feelings.

As a young child I grew up in Flagstaff, Arizona with my parents and younger brother. My parents were both college students and worked as often as they could to support our small family. My parents were wonderful, and although not able to give us all that they wanted materially. Those years were ones of fun and trial.

My only memory of being diapered was once when Mom took me to the clinic. For some reason, I don't recall, I was put into a diaper before the exam by the doctor. I was about 3 at the time. I was potty trained at 22 months, by my grandmother. I was a very rational child, I have been told, and one day while in Sears, she looked at me, explained how gross diaper wearing is and that I should quit. She bought me some underwear, and I wore those from then on. I had a couple of accidents but that was the end of it. I have often wondered how my being potty trained so young may have affected my liking them now.

We lived in a large stone house in Flagstaff. It was two stories and my dad had an art studio on the ground floor. My little brother, Chris, and I shared a room together. We were almost twins - separated by only a year and two weeks in age. He and I have a very special relationship that has lasted for over twenty years. I can remember going into the bathroom and finding the big blue pads that protect furniture. Well, I thought that they were diapers but couldn't figure out why there were no tapes on it. I tried it a few times but could never get it to work.

One day I was exploring in the guest room and found in the dresser all of our old baby clothes including diapers and plastic pants. I can remember pulling out both a diaper and a pair of pants and trying them on. They still fit! I couldn't find any diaper pins so I just folded the diapers into the plastic pants. I never wet them, that would have caused too many problems. I wore the plastic pants several times to pre-school under my underpants. I even wore the diaper when we went to a friends house to play. I can still remember playing hide and seek and finding my way to a drainage pipe. I opened my pants to look at the diaper and how comfortable they felt.

One night I was home with dad and Chris and we were eating pizza. Chris and I both had to go pee and so we went to the bathroom. I still had my plastic pants on and he saw them. I begged him not to tell dad, but he wouldn't listen. I got a major spanking when dad found out. He told me that the next day he was going to take all of the baby stuff and hide it. I was very upset and screamed that I would stay home and see where he hid them. Of course, I was sent to bed and never did find out what he did with the stuff. At age five, I couldn't outwit my dad on something like that.

We moved not too long after that to Oxnard, California. About 6 months after we moved, my baby brother Daniel was born. For some reason, I never tried to use his diapers. I still was interested in them but I never tried anything. My great-aunt took us camping with some of her friends, who also brought along their baby boy. I borrowed two pampers from them and hid them in my sleeping bag thinking that I would get them when we got home and try them on then. Well, when we got home, they were nowhere to be found. I never did find out where they went.

Not to long after that we visited my moms family in Phoenix. We went to church with them and from somewhere, I came up with a diaper. I hid it in the bathroom and was going to go back for it after church. Well, when I went back, the diaper was gone. I could not win.

A few years later, my dad got a job in Phoenix and so we moved again. We bought a home and settled into a quiet neighborhood. I had started baby sitting for families in the neighborhood. I was cheep and had a knack with little kids. They real liked me. That is when I started using diapers frequently. Most kids I baby-sat were still in diapers, at least at night, so it gave me access to a supply. I would usually use one or two after the kids were in bed. I would put them on and fasten that tapes on one side. The other side would not fit so I would use some kind of tape to secure it. I loved to wear the thick diapers and wet them. One summer, I baby-sat daily for a family where the mom had gone back to work. Their oldest was about three and still not potty trained. They used the pampers XL thick on him and I loved to use those diapers. I was getting older and my penis would grow when I put the diapers. One day, I was rubbing the diaper I had on and my penis started throbbing and I could feel the diaper growing wet. I though I had wet my diaper without trying and it kind of scared me. I changed the diaper and later figured out what that had been. I would occasionally do it again but I always felt real guilty for doing it.

By this time I had gotten the nerve up to ride my bike down to the store and buy packages of pampers there. I would smuggle them into my room and wear them. I tried wearing them to school a couple of times but I would get too scared by the first hour or two and take them off in the bathroom. I would sometimes leave them rolled up in the corner of the stall. Wonder what the janitors thought when they found them. At one point I bought some plastic pants and found a cloth diaper and would wear that. Well, one day my dad called me in to his room. He held up the diaper and asked me where I had gotten it. I told him that I bought it and he nodded and sent me out to play. He kept the diaper but nothing more was ever said. I was caught a few other times, but my parents never did anything about it. That surprised me because they were the types to have found a counselor for me. Oh, well.

I would go on to wear diapers for the next several years. I always felt as if I was the only one and that I was a total freak. I always told myself that grownups don't wear diapers. I logically felt that there had to be others since I had heard of infantilism. I tried in the library here at the University but never found much. I had done countless searches on the topic of diapers on the Internet but never got anywhere. Finally, a few weeks ago, I stumbled across Pampers home page. I was so excited, I spent over four hours reading and following the links. I could have jumped up and down. I knew I wasn't alone and would be accepted by others.