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Document: Back To '55

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Back To '55

David strolled through the flea market in a daze. He was bored and although he had come with high hopes of furnishing his new apartment on a tiny budget, he had yet to find anything but junk.

Just as he was about to head back to his car a table full of old catalogues from the 40's and 50's caught his eye. Curiosity made him pick up a Sears catalogue from 1955, the year when he was ten years old. He flipped through the women's fashions, noting the seamed stockings and the reinforced heels that had long since become the exclusive domain of models and hookers. For a brief second he thought he remembered something about stockings but he kept turning the pages, past the men's section and into the household goods.

He saw kitchen appliances he remembered from his childhood, lamps that he or his friends' families had bought and many other things that prompted him to remember, to cast back to a time he had almost managed to forget. Page after page prompted him to remember but the image kept hanging back in his mind, out of reach.

Now he knew there was something in his distant past that was trying to come out, something he might have deliberately forgotten. He turned the pages more quickly now, scanning each for a clue, something to help him.

When he came to the section on personal items for women he knew he would find it. Pictures of models trussed up in strict, full length corsets with high-rise "sensible" stockings pulled taunt by efficient garters gave his memory a jolt but it wasn't enough. Then he found the sanitary supplies section. His eye came to rest on the selection of rubber panties in all sizes from baby to adult. So that was where she had found them. An ancient question was answered. Now his memory came flooding back and David travelled with it, back to the big dark house on the street with big trees, back to the smell of paste wax and the vinegar she used to clean windows, back to the big ringer washing machine in the kitchen and back to her - the aunt who had minded him the summer his parents had gone to Europe.

He was there again, a little boy of 10, sitting at her kitchen table, still resentful at having been left behind, still wary of this stranger, his Aunt, who seemed so strict and unused to the energy and needs of a young lad. He had arrived only that morning and the house still smelled and felt strange to him. It was a house of women, he knew, because she had already complained to him that she had 7 boarders to contend with and she didn't need any "trouble" from him.

It didn't take long for the "trouble" to start. She put a plate of fried liver in front of him and caught the look of disgust on his face. He told her he didn't like liver, that his mother never made him eat it and could he please have something else. She said he was acting like a baby and he could eat the liver or starve. For that afternoon, he starved.

At dinner that evening the table was full of people. The seven young women who stayed with his aunt while they attended the nearby teacher's college were home from class and he instantly formed a crush on each one of them. With an average age of 19 they seemed to be at the peak of loveliness and although he was too young to understand lust, he created a little place of worship for each of them in the privacy of his heart.

They took little notice of him aside from finding him cute. He ate quietly, thankful it was something he liked and tried not to blush when they asked him questions. After the meal he helped with the dishes and then went to the den to watch them gather to talk, do some homework or listen to the radio. As he studied them his puppy love grew and he played a game with himself, choosing one or the other whom he would marry.

As his aunt put him to bed she told him that he had better learn to eat what was on his plate, that the only time she made special food was for babies. Was he a baby? she asked. No. He was not a baby! The thought insulted him and he showed her how repulsed he was by the suggestion.

The next day, at noon, she presented him with chicken livers for lunch. He refused to eat them and she threatened to make him wear a diaper if she had to prepare "baby food" for him. He didn't think she was serious and therefore forgot the threat. He ate his dinner because he liked it and his aunt didn't mention anything about what had happened at lunch when she put him to bed.

It was a Wednesday, he recalled. Since Wednesday morning was always comprised of shopping and then an hour in the sewing room, he didn't take much notice of things. He went with her and tried not to look too bored. He didn't pay any attention to the stores they went to: a fabric store, Sears (where she picked up a parcel), the drug store and a few other places.

He was allowed out to play when they got home. He had an hour before lunch and managed to find Ernie, the one kid in the neighborhood. Ernie was kind of stupid and being only eight he was a little too young for David but he was company. They made "rifles" out of fallen tree branches and planned on a game of cowboys and indians after lunch. He went in as soon as his aunt called him.

Stewed beets. They sat in a bowl in front of him like some weird cesspool. Even the earthy odor was enough to turn his stomach. He couldn't bear even to risk a taste of them. This time she didn't scold him or threaten him during the meal. She ate her portion and then quietly asked him if he remembered what she had said the previous day.

At first he could not remember. Then he did recall her warning and a deep cloud of suspicion began to form. She was acting differently this time. Something was going to happen. She finished her portion and asked him again if he was going to eat his lunch and he shook his head. Then she asked him if he would like something else and, not realizing what it would mean, nodded his head emphatically.

"Very well, then let's go get a diaper for you and then you can have your baby food."

"No!" he cried out, "I don't want a diaper!" He cried and complained all the way up the stairs, pulled along by her firm grip on his wrist. Of course, she hadn't listened to his pleas. looking back on it now he supposed she meant to put him in diapers all along. During that loud and plaintive journey to her room she kept repeating that if he wanted to eat baby food then he would have to wear what babies wore - a diaper.

She sat him down on the edge of her pristine bed in her immaculate room and made him watch as she took a large piece of white cloth from her closet, crossed the room to her dresser and retrieve from it a strange-looking pair of amber-colored ladies' panties. She put these on the bed beside him and he stared at them as if they were a coiled snake, ready to strike. She brought two diaper pins and a can of baby powder and then made him stand up.

"I don't want diapers!" he cried over and over again as she released his trousers and pushed them down his legs. Then his underwear followed and she took off his socks as the whole pile of clothing was pulled away.

He stood with one hand over his genitals while he watched her spread out the diaper on the bed. Then, still ignoring his sniffles and occasional protests, she lifted by his arm pits, as if he were truly a helpless toddler, and placed him on the diaper.

Even now he could remember how it felt that first time. The cloth was soft, comforting. He stopped sniffling as she began to apply the powder. She kept her silence and he had nothing to say.

When she was ready she gathered the cloth and brought it up between his legs, forcing them a little wider apart in the process. The feeling of the cloth on his genitals was strange and he found himself obsessed by it. Then he remembered that this was indeed a diaper and it made him start to cry all over again.

She pinned the diaper very tight. So tight that he wanted to complain but instead he just sucked in his tummy like he was told and tried to ignore what was being done to him. He had turned his head away, staring at the window while she worked on him. He felt the clammy smoothness of the rubber pants being fitted over his ankles. Although taunted by curiosity he couldn't bear to look.

He was pulled to his feet while the strange pants were still bunched around his knees. Still, he looked away, not acknowledging what she had done to him. She pulled the pants up over the bulge of the diaper and tucked in all the stray bits of cloth. When she had finished she stepped back and told him to look at her.

Now, forced to confront reality, he did as he was told. She watched him struggle with the strange sensations of being in diapers again. In that long moment of silence he cautiously let his hands explore the smooth rubber shell, feeling also the bulk of the cloth pads that lay beneath it.

She lectured him about not being a big boy at all. She said that big boys ate what was put in front of them and that as long as he was going to be as fussy as a baby he was going to have to wear diapers like a baby. That made him start to cry.

She ignored his tears as she warned him not to try to take his diapers off because it would get him into even more trouble. Then she ordered him to put his jeans on again.

As he struggled into the garment he became aware of just how uncomfortable it was to have so much padding between his legs. The rubber pants squeaked and squealed loudly when he moved. When he finally managed to get the jeans up over his diaper he found them to be too tight. Try as he might he could not fasten them and that realization made him start to cry all over again. Then she tried to fasten them and not being able to do it she told him to wait and then she disappeared.

She came back a few seconds later with a pair of summer shorts that his mother had bought for him just before she had left. They were large enough for him to grow into, she had said. His aunt pulled down his jeans, made him step out of them and then helped him put the shorts on.

This time there was less of a struggle to get past the diaper and although it took some tugging, the shorts were fastened. Still, wearing them made the diaper all that much tighter and he was now more than ever aware of what he was wearing. At her command he replaced his socks and sneakers and followed her downstairs for his lunch.

Walking was so hard! The diaper made him waddle and already the rubber panty was trapping his body heat, creating an artificial warmth that, as yet, wasn't uncomfortable but promised to become so.

In the kitchen she took a jar of baby food from the cupboard and after warming it a little fed it to him one spoonful at a time. He was so subdued by the feeling of the thick diaper between his legs that he accepted it all very meekly. He didn't like the baby food but only because it was so bland. At least it didn't turn his stomach like the liver or the beets.

Just as the last spoonful was gone the door bell rang and she got up to answer. She called him to the door and he went reluctantly, distracted by the strange feeling of walking in the thick, tight diaper.

Seeing Ernie there sent shivers down his spine. He wanted to know if David could come out to play. Before David could reply his aunt said yes and almost pushed him out the door.

David found himself standing in front of his friend, painfully aware of the bulging diaper scarcely concealed by his shorts. Thankfully, Ernie had cowboys and Indians on his mind and didn't seem to notice his friend's strange attire. Reluctantly at first, and then with more enthusiasm, David allowed himself to concentrate on the game. They ran and played, staging ambushes and defending make-believe forts all afternoon. But no matter how excited he became, no matter how intensely he played, David could not forget for an instant about the thick diaper pinned about his hips and the rubber panty that kept all the heat in. The feelings he got from the diaper danced in the back of his mind like haze on a summer's day.

In the middle of the afternoon Ernie announced that he had to pee and suggested that they find some thick bushes. David had to pee too but he dared not show Ernie his diaper and besides, he could still hear his aunt's warning about taking off the diaper. He told Ernie that he didn't have to go, even though just the suggestion of peeing reminded him that his bladder was full.

When they found some bushes he told Ernie that he would stand guard outside and so, while alone, struggled with the increasing pressure from his bladder and the terrible fear of wetting himself. The more he thought of Ernie, the more he pictured how the lad would stand there, penis in hand, playing his stream over the leaves and bushes, the more uncomfortable David got. He tried to forget it but his bladder would not be forgotten. By the time Ernie came out from the bushes, David had been gripping his crotch for some time. He had to stop doing that, of course, and try to go back to the game.

They started to play again but David found it hard to concentrate. His bladder was giving him a lot of pain and he began to doubt that he could hold it much longer. Suddenly, in a flash of inspiration, he told Ernie that he had to go #2 and then ran for his house.

His aunt was in the kitchen when he arrived breathless and in great distress. He told her of his need to use the bathroom and waited, expecting her permission, or for her to come and help him, considering how tight the shorts were.

Instead she just smiled and told him to wet his diaper.

He couldn't believe it and the shock written across his face inspired her to say more. She reminded him that he was dressed like a baby because he was acting like a baby and if he was dressed like a baby - in a diaper - then he should use his diaper like a baby would. Otherwise, she said, what was the point in making him wear a diaper at all?

Just as he tried to digest this new shock his bladder protested once more but this time David was too distracted to prevent nature from taking its course. At first it felt like only a few droplets - he decided that wouldn't be so bad - but once the droplets became a stream he knew that there would be no stopping it. He found himself absorbed in the rush of hot pee into his diaper and he spread his legs and looked down at his bulging shorts as he wet himself without control.

Immediately he felt the thick cloth absorb the wetness as it crept through his crotch and up toward his waist. Even after the flow had stopped the moisture still moved, invading the relatively dry comfort of the diaper and leaving a warm, wet clammy feeling that David knew he would shortly come to loathe.

Still in a state of shock he tried to form words to express what he was feeling - but none came. He looked up at her to see a strange expression on her face. There was no compassion there, no sympathy for what had happened to him. She suggested that he go back outside to play.

Now he knew that he wanted to ask her to take off the wet and clammy diaper. The words were in his mind but he couldn't bring himself to utter them because he sensed, as all children can sense the mood of an adult, that she would refuse him and he didn't want to hear that. Absentmindedly he ran his hands over the tight fabric of his shorts. He could feel the bulky pads underneath, warm in some places from his pee, and somehow was fascinated that the diaper and the rubber panty held it all in, betraying nothing of the wetness, nothing of the flood. No one looking at him could discern his discomfort. No one would know except his aunt and she wouldn't help him. Suddenly he realized that if anyone was to help him they would first have to know he was wearing a diaper. Then they would want to know why. He wasn't ready for that - not now - maybe never.

The rest of the afternoon passed slowly. David hated his wet and clammy diaper. He noticed that the wetness slowly found all the dry areas, robbing him of even a little oasis of comfort. The diaper was also noticeably heavier. Now he was grateful for the tightness of the shorts because only that tension stopped the diaper from sagging. By the time he was ready to go in for supper he was resolved to beg to have the diaper taken off and then to eat anything he was given. Nothing could be worse that a wet diaper.

She hadn't started dinner yet and so was sympathetic to his contrite pleas to be let out of the wet diaper. She asked him if he had "grown up" and he promised that he would eat anything he was given if only she would take the diaper off. She agreed and took him upstairs to his room where she removed the diaper, wiped him clean with a damp cloth and then gave him back his underwear and jeans.

Nothing had ever felt so wonderful! As soon as he was able he went to the bathroom and relieved himself, enjoying that simple experience more than ever before.

At the table, surrounded by the lovely ladies, he waited nervously to see what was being served and he breathed a visible sigh of relief when a plate of fried chicken was placed in front of him.

For a few days following David had no trouble. He managed to choke down any food that he wasn't familiar with and was grateful that no form of liver or the dreaded stewed beets appeared on the menu. Still, in the back of his mind he knew it was only a matter of time before he would be forced to make the awful choice between those foods or another diaper.

He got to know the young girls that lived at the house and they occupied more and more of his thoughts. They were his first exposure to mature females and he was fascinated by their dress, their routines and their obsession with appearance.

Living in such a predominantly female environment, David was exposed for the first time to female modesty, female undergarments hung out to dry in the bathroom and the fact that the subject would often change as soon as he walked into the room.

In the morning the house was a flurry of activity with line-ups for the bathroom, complaints about runs in stockings, missing shoes and requests to borrow this or that from one's room-mate. They would gather at the dining room table for breakfast, a time when David studied the carefully made-up faces, the combed hair and the ever-varying dresses with fascination.

Generally David was a silent spectator. While the girls were friendly with him their doors remained closed when they were dressing. He heard comments from time to time that things were different now that there was a man in the house, meaning him. David didn't see why things should change. Still, he was content to admire them, even if from afar.

During those days David almost, but not quite, forgot about the afternoon he had spent wearing the diaper. It haunted him as he waited with dry throat and sweaty palms to find out what was being served at each meal. He would have liked to believe that things could go on as smoothly as they were but he really didn't believe that his aunt wouldn't be serving liver or stewed beets or anything else he really hated for the rest of the summer.

A week after the diaper incident David was beginning to relax at meal times. It was just too much effort to be tense every time he took his place at the dinner table. So it was with some surprise when he suddenly looked down to see a piece of liver on his plate, smothered in onions and curled at the edges from having been fried a little too much.

Immediately he felt his heart pound. He looked at his aunt but she seemed very unconcerned about things as she brought the rest of the meal to the table. A quick glance around the table revealed a few long faces but no one seemed to have the raw fear that was coursing through him.

He remembered the diaper, how tight it had been, what it had felt like to wet it, how the moisture had crept through it until it was like a giant clammy hand holding his most private place. He remembered his promise to his aunt. Now it was time to see if he could keep it.

He used a lot of salt and pepper on the liver and then made sure he would get a lot of onions on the piece he would cut. Then he cut off the smallest piece he thought he could manage and brought it to his mouth.

Even from the smell of the liver, David's stomach began to contract. No matter what he had promised, even the smell of liver was making him feel ill. He tried to concentrate on the diaper, how he had felt when Ernie had gone into the bushes to pee and he had to stay outside because he was wearing a diaper.

He put the liver in his mouth and began to chew. The taste made him start to gag. He concentrated on the diaper, picturing himself wearing it, forcing himself to remember how awful it had felt.

He swallowed the liver still only partly chewed and for a brief second was afraid it would stick in his throat. Thankfully, it didn't but David knew he was defeated. He stared down at his plate and began to cry. His aunt asked him what was wrong and he whispered that he was sorry but he just couldn't get the liver down his throat, that it made him gag.

"You know what that means, don't you!" his aunt said, loud enough to stop the conversation at the table. Everyone was looking at him and his aunt.

"Yes," he replied meekly.

"Well?"

"It means I have to wear a diaper." he whispered, his cheeks now aflame with embarrassment.

"Louder. We didn't hear you."

David took a deep breath. All these women, his idols, each one a goddess in his fantasies, were looking at him, staring at him. Finally he repeated the phrase. There were gasps from around the table. David stared at the liver on his plate, hating it for embarrassing him.

"You'll find everything we'll need on my bed." his aunt said in a normal tone of voice, "I suspected we might be needing your diaper tonight. You may go and fetch your baby things and bring them here."

David understood but the thought of being put into the diaper in front of all the girls was just too much to bear. He felt frozen to his chair, paralysed by fear.

"Do you hear me?" his aunt said with a sharp edge to her voice. David nodded but he still couldn't move. It was too much to ask that he humiliate himself in that way. More seconds passed. David knew his aunt was getting much more angry but he still felt immobilized, unable to do as she asked.

Finally she pushed back her chair and stood up. Glaring down at him she said "you've just earned yourself an extra full day in your diaper. If you don't get moving within five seconds I'll make it two days!"

David needed no more encouragement. He jumped off his chair and ran out of the kitchen, down the hall and started up the stairs. Behind him he heard a babble of conversation. One of the girls said "Diaper? Really, Mrs. Smith, isn't that a bit harsh? Liver isn't to everyone's taste."

David didn't have time to wait to hear the reply. He knew he was in deep trouble and reasoned only that if one day in a diaper was bad then two days would be twice as bad.

Everything, diaper, pants, pins, powder, was waiting for him on his aunt's bed. He scooped up the pile into his arms and held it close to his chest as he raced downstairs. As fate would have it the rubber pants were on the top of the pile and as he ran the pants were right under his nose. He would remember that fragrance for the rest of his life.

He arrived back in the kitchen out of breath. He stopped in the doorway when he noticed that they were all staring at him, some with expressions of sympathy on their faces. His aunt motioned for him to come to her.

He started to sniffle as he took the few steps. She took the pile from him, spread out the diaper on the kitchen floor and then began to undo the snap on his jeans. "Please," he pleaded, "I don't want the diaper!" He sensed he had a sympathetic audience.

His aunt ignored the plea. She had his jeans and underwear off him in an instant and before he knew it he was on his back and the diaper was being pulled up between his legs and pinned tightly.

The diaper seemed much thicker. He had to hold his legs as wide apart as possible to gain any comfort at all. She took off his shoes and socks and then yanked him to his feet before pulling the amber pants into place and tucking in all the wisps of diaper.

She left him standing there, cheeks aflame, tears streaming down his face while he looked at the seven faces that tried not to stare at him but couldn't help themselves. His aunt resumed her seat at the table and motioned for him to do the same. He took small steps, extremely conscious of the enforced waddle and the squeaky rustling sounds of the rubber pants. When he climbed up on his chair the rubber pants made strange sounds as they met the vinyl covering of the chair. He buried his face in his hands, too humiliated to look at anyone.

The rest of the meal passed in a subdued manner. The joviality of the end of the day was gone. From time to time he knew one or another of the girls was looking at him. He sensed sympathy coming from them but until one of them made his aunt take the diaper off it didn't really matter. Dessert came and went with David still sulking in his chair. He knew she would make him eat baby food, maybe even with the other girls present. He didn't care about that as much as how his diaper felt.

One by one the girls left the table, giving him long parting looks that spoke volumes. Inside, David wanted desperately for at least one of them to protest but no one wanted to make his aunt angry. No one was willing to risk her wrath.

When only David and his aunt were left in the kitchen he kept his head in his hands but still managed to look through his fingers as she warmed up some baby food for him. He was hungry but the thought of the funny tasting paste dimmed his appetite. He knew he had to eat it. He was already wearing the diaper. He didn't know what would happen if he refused but he didn't want to find out.

She took away his plate of liver and put the baby food in front of him. He started to pick up a spoon but she took it away from him and said that babies had to be fed. So he put his hands in his lap, against the smooth taunt shell of his rubber pants and let her spoon the stuff into his mouth. When it was over she excused him from the table and told him to go to his room to wait for her.

He hated having to walk through the house. It was worse than being naked because the diaper was a badge of shame. It proclaimed to all the world that he was in trouble. As he climbed the stairs he noticed again how thick this diaper was and how uncomfortable it felt. The rubber pants chaffed against his thighs and already he was starting to get sore there. Once in his room he sat on his bed and concentrated on feeling sorry for himself.

As soon as he heard his aunt's footsteps on the stairs he felt his pulse quicken. He didn't know why she had ordered him to his room, only that he didn't expect to like what was going to happen. Would she make him go to bed so early? Was he going to get a spanking? A thousand torments flashed through his mind as he listened to her approach.

From the sounds he knew she had stopped in either her room or the sewing room. The delay only made him more anxious. When she finally did appear he saw that she was carrying what looked like a pair of pajamas.

"This is a sleeper for my big baby. I made if for you this week." She held it up and he saw that it was indeed a large version of a baby's one-piece sleeper with attached feet. At her order he took off his shirt. Then she helped him into the strange garment; first his feet then up over his bulging rubber pants, then his arms.

He was surprised when he noticed that it had a zipper down the back instead of the front. As she pulled the zipper closed he felt engulfed in the garment. It covered all of him except for his head and hands. There were thick felt soles for his feet. At least, he thought, his rubber pants and diaper were hidden except for the big bulges around his waist.

She did something to the zipper tab at the back of his neck. Later he would discover that she had sewn it to the garment so that if he succeeded in taking it off she would know.

He was then left to wander the house, sullen because of his diaper punishment and fearful of the strange looks he got from the girls. For a while he went back to his room but his aunt found him, accused him of feeling sorry for himself and ordered him to be more friendly with the girls.

He went to the den and sat down in the corner, hoping that no one would notice him, that they would leave him alone. But one of the girls, Ellen, whom he thought very pretty, asked him to come and sit beside her on the couch and so he did, with great reluctance. She started asking him about school and his hobbies, his friends, anything but the subject of diapers. Her room-mate, Jean, joined them and soon he was feeling a little better. Both girls were still wearing the dresses they had worn to class that day and when Jean said she was going to get changed, Ellen said it was a good idea and asked David to come along. When Jean gave her a is-this-a-good-idea look, Ellen pointed out that David was only ten years old. Jean shrugged and said no more.

David was already feeling a little better because of the attention the girls had given him so he perked up at being invited into their room. He was more concerned about staying with these girls who had been kind to him than getting a chance to see them undress.

He first woke up to this new possibility when Jean closed the door behind them. Ellen commented that they had best be quick about it because she doubted "Mrs. S." would approve of David being with them.

David sat on the bed and watched with fascination and awe as the girls began to undress. First they released the hooks on the back of each other's dresses and lowered the zippers. Then, after turning their backs to David, they pulled their dresses down off their shoulders, revealing white satin slips. As the dresses went lower he saw the crinolines that caused their skirts to puff out. When the dresses were completely off they looked like they were wearing strange, see through wedding dresses.

After hanging up their dresses and giving David suspicious looks both girls slipped out of their crinolines and then pulled their slips up over their heads. David felt his eyes bulge. This left the girls wearing only their bras, panties and a strange garment that went around their waists and then had long strips of material running down to meet the tops of their stockings.

Fascinated, David was committing every detail, every little bit of information to memory. He was mesmerized by the complexity and yet elegance of what these women wore and he hoped they wouldn't send him away until he had seen it all.

Jean said to Ellen that she felt funny being undressed with David in the room but her friend reminded her that she probably revealed more in her bathing suit than she did in her underwear. Jean just blushed and started to release the straps that held her stockings up.

David became obsessed with the sheer stockings. The seams down the back had to be kept straight, he knew that already, but until then he had no idea of how the stockings were attached to the rest of the clothing.

Once each woman had her stockings off the garter belts quickly followed. Then they dressed in pajamas and full-length housecoats. After stepping into slippers they opened the door and took David back to the den. No one seemed to have noticed their absence.

By bed-time David was struggling with a full bladder. He hated the thought of having to wet his still dry diaper. He knew what it would feel like once wet and he didn't think his aunt would change him before bed. He was still in the den with Jean and Ellen when he decided to risk something. He leaned over to Ellen and whispered a plea that she take him to the bathroom and help him take his diaper off so he could use the toilet.

A dark cloud seemed to pass over her face. Jean asked what was going on and after Ellen told her, suggested that it might be OK to help David with his sleeper but that tampering with the diaper, without asking permission from Mrs S, might not be a good idea.

David was disappointed but when Ellen asked if he needed help with his sleeper he said yes and turned his back to her, showing her the zipper. She fumbled with it for a second and then said, "Sorry, David. It's been sewn shut. I don't think she wants you to be able to get out of your diaper." Both girls looked embarrassed and sympathetic but David didn't notice. He was too busy trying to get used to the idea of having to wet his diaper.

When his aunt came for him to take him to bed, Ellen mentioned that the boy needed to visit the bathroom. His aunt thanked her for her concern but said that David was wearing the diaper for a reason and it would serve no good if he wasn't made to use it for its intended purpose.

All the way to his room David tried to summon up the courage to ask permission to use the bathroom. Much as he really didn't want to have to wet himself he also didn't want to hear a negative reply from his aunt. He debated whether or not to ask the question until a signal from his bladder warned him he had little time left. So as he climbed into bed he put on his most endearing face and said, "Auntie, I really need to pee. Do I have to use my diaper?"

He was afraid she was going to be angry but instead she just smiled back at him tolerantly and told him yes, he had to use his diapers just like a little baby and that a little wetness wouldn't hurt him. She also mentioned that she had put double diapers on him to last all night.

David thought of pleading again but decided not to push his luck. He was sulking by the time she turned out the light. At first he was determined not to wet, no matter how awful the feelings got but soon enough his bladder got the better of him and after he discovered it was hard to pee when he was lying down he got out of bed, spread his legs and waited for the hot stream to begin.

A few seconds later he was flooding himself, a feeling he both liked and hated. He liked it because the hot wet feeling was strange and interesting. He hated it because once the diaper got wet it also got cold, clammy and heavy and was very uncomfortable.

He crawled back into bed and decided not to have any covers. The sleeper was made of light cotton but even it was too hot for a summer's night. He thought about Ellen saying that the zipper was sewn closed and suddenly the sleeper, the diaper the rubber pants all seemed to be a kind of prison. He put his hands over his bulging loins and wondered how things could be so dry outside while being so wet inside.

The more he thought about the wet diaper, how hot his sleeper was and everything else that had happened the more distressed he became. He tossed and turned, trying to find a position where the diaper was a little more comfortable or the sleeper was a little cooler.

His aunt had left his bedroom door open a little. Just as David was about to break down into tears because of his real and imagined torments, Ellen, passing by his door, heard his thrashing and came in to see him.

He stopped as soon as he saw her, reassured by the warmth and kindness of her smile. She sat on the edge of his bed and asked him what was wrong. While he spoke she stroked the perspiration from his forehead.

He told her what the wet diaper felt like and how he had asked to be allowed to go the bathroom before bed. Now his diaper was soaked inside the tight rubber panty and the sleeper was too hot and he couldn't close his legs and all the other things that were bothering him.

Ellen had listened attentively, tried to reassure him and then went to the boy's aunt to plead his case for him. She didn't get very far. Later she would recount the aunt's reply:

"I understand what you have said," his aunt said coolly, "but David's diaper is an instrument of punishment. The more uncomfortable he is the greater the encouragement to eat what is put before him."

Ellen was powerless to help David that night but as the days progressed and David found himself wearing a diaper time after time because he wouldn't eat some foods, she began to pay more attention to the boy. If he had spent the night in a diaper then the next morning he was allowed to go the room Ellen shared with Jean and watch the women dress. Ellen knew he was fascinated and maybe even had a puppy crush on her. Jean still had fears about immodesty but Ellen managed to always reassure her that the boy was too young to be a concern.

So, much as David hated the way his aunt ordered him to fetch "his" diaper while everyone was at the table, and then put it on him while the whole household watched. Much as he had come to hate the squeaky, amber colored rubber pants that held all his wetting in but made his diapers tight, hot and uncomfortable. Much as he dreaded the sleeper that his aunt made him wear, with its zipper sewn shut to prevent him from tampering with his punishment diaper, David always had his time with Ellen and Jean to look forward to.

He would waddle down the hall, conscious of the heavy wet bulk between his legs, and knock softly on their door. After being admitted he sat on the top of the laundry hamper in the corner, enjoying the strange smells of perfume and cosmetics, while he watched the women dress for the day.

David became quite knowledgeable about feminine undergarments - experience that would serve him well after he started dating girls. When the girls came back from the bathroom they wore their long dressing gowns. They put their bras and panties on while still wearing the gowns. David felt invisible as he watched them go through the rituals of make-up and perfume. Sometimes it seemed as if they had forgotten he was there because they spoke of things he did not understand and used words he had not heard before.

After their hair and make-up were perfect the girls put on their garter belts. These were sturdy affairs with wide waist bands and strong garter tabs. Then the stockings, one leg at a time, very carefully to avoid runs, and then much fussing over straightening the seams. He watched the pull the elastic garters into position and fasten the strange clips. He didn't think it looked very comfortable but the girls didn't seem to mind.

Next came the slips, shimmering satin sheaths that looked pretty enough to be dresses. Over the slips went the crinolines, the artificial skirts that made their dresses fan out.Finally the dresses went on with much fussing about damage to hair-do's. Then there was only the high heeled shoes and the short trip to the breakfast table.

More often than not, David would have to eat breakfast sitting in his damp sleeper and soaked diaper. His aunt insisted that there wasn't enough time before the meal to see to his needs but the truth was she wanted David to be seen in his wet diaper.

After breakfast his aunt would take him upstairs to the bathroom, remove his diaper and let him bathe. Then he would be allowed to wear his normal pants and play outside - until, of course, he refused another plate of food. Then there would be another humiliating, tear-filled trip to his aunt's room to fetch the diaper and rubber panty.

Lunch time was always a little scary for David because if he didn't eat that meal he spent all afternoon and all night in the diaper. His aunt had a policy of not changing him so if he started to leak she just pinned another dry diaper over top of the two or three diapers he was already wearing. That saved the furniture but it did nothing to make David feel better. Ernie was his only friend and he had begun to get suspicious about why David looked "fatter" some days than others. David had nightmares about Ernie, or anyone else for that matter, finding out that he wore diapers.

One weekend late in the summer Ernie's mother asked David if he would like to come with their family on an over-night trip to a nearby amusement park. Grateful to be away from his aunt, who seemed to be putting a diaper on him for any excuse, David agreed.

Things were just fine for the first half of the trip. David and Ernie spent the long drive playing in the back of the car. David wished he never had to go back to his aunt's. But when bedtime came, Ernie's mother took him aside and said that his aunt had told her that David had a bed wetting problem so she had given her some diapers for David to wear that night. Confused and frightened, David denied everything.

Ernie's mother wasn't convinced. She said his aunt had warned her about David's lies and that's one reason why she was also supposed to make David wear a sleeper with the zipper tab sewn closed.

At the sight of the sleeper David broke down and tried to tell her the real reason why he had to wear diapers but even to him it sounded contrived and hollow.

The motel room was too small to allow for any privacy so David had to endure, with cheeks aflame and full of tears, being diapered by Ernie's mom while Ernie looked on, fascinated. What made it worst of all was after David had been sewn into his sleeper for the night, Ernie asked his mother if he could have a diaper too!

He had never gotten over that day. Ernie, now aware of why David sometimes looked "fatter" always asked him if he was wearing a diaper. One day, David even had to take off his shorts and model his baby gear for his friend to stop him from taunting him on the street. Ernie had run his hands over the taunt rubber and displayed a lot of envy. David didn't figure he had anything to be envied.

The memory shattered when someone nudged his arm. He noticed he was still holding the old catalogue open to the page full of rubber panties - the ones women used to wear for "sanitary protection". An old question had been answered. All these years he had quietly wondered where his aunt had found the rubber pants big enough to fit him.

He bought the catalogue and a few others - just for old time's sake. Then he prowled the stalls one more time, paying more attention to the antique clothing displays, looking for something that would remind him of Ellen or Jean.

A large pile of old corsets caught his attention and he sorted through them, remembering how Jean would lace a protesting Ellen into one just before her prom dates because she couldn't fit into her prom dress without the extra support. Just when David was about to turn away his hand brushed against something made of rubber.

They were old and showing their wear but the rubber panties he pulled out were an exact replica of the one's his aunt had made him wear. These were larger, big enough to fit him now.

He noticed his hand trembling at that thought. The amber panties shimmered in the summer breeze. He couldn't resist. Despite the strange looks from the stall owner he bought the pants and headed for home.