My first recollection of diaper punishment was when I was six years old. My mother was having coffee with our next door neighbor, and the lady was bragging to my mother how her two year old daughter was already potty trained. She told my mother that Deanna, her daughter had not wet her pants in over a month now and that she had been dry every morning for over three months. My mother told her that she wished she could say the same. My mother then told Mrs. Walters, our neighbor, how I was still wet every morning. Mrs. Walters then suggested that maybe she should give me Deanna's diapers and baby pants, as she no longer needed them. My mother said that maybe that would help make me decide to grow up. Mrs. Walters went home and brought back a big box with all of Deanna's diapers, baby pants, training pants, diaper pins, baby bottles, and even a pacifier. My mother was surprised the she had all these things and was will to give them to my mother to use on me. She also brought over Deanna's potty-chair and told my mother that if she wanted, she could have the highchair, playpen and crib as well.
I walked in from outside, where I had been playing in some mud puddles, just as my mother and our neighbor were going through all the things she had bought over. I had mud all over me, my mother took one look at me and was furious. Earlier I had wet my pants while I took my nap on the couch. Now my mother just grabbed me and carried me to the bathroom and started running bath water as she undressed me, she was also spanking me the whole time. Mrs. Walters came in to see if she needed any help. My mother asked her to get me in the tub and watch me while she took my clothes to the washer. I was crying and embarrassed to have our neighbor see me naked.
Mrs. Walters told me to stop being a crybaby. She said it was bad enough that I still wet my pants and acted like a baby at my age and she the proceeded to bathe me. When my mother came back the finished my bath and dried me. They then carried me to the kitchen table and laid me down. My mother got out some of the diapers and I started kicking and hitting. They manage to hold me down and get the diaper on me and they then put me outside. The diaper fell off me, as they were not able to pin it on very well with me fighting them. I tried to get back in the house, but they had locked the door. I stood there with the diaper at my ankles pounding on the door and crying. Several of the neighbor kids were out and laughing at me. My mother came out and said if I would lay down and be a good baby, she would pin the diaper back on right, otherwise I could stay out there like I was. I laid down and she asked, "Are you going to be a good baby now?" I just nodded my head and she pinned the diaper on me. This time she pinned it on good and snug. While my mother was pinning the diaper on me, Mrs. Walters went home, got the playpen, and brought it over to our yard. They put me in it and told me I had to stay there until my father got home.
My sisters came home from where they had been visiting one of their friends and they laughed and teased me all afternoon. My mother would not even let me let to use the bathroom so I soaked the diaper I had on. They also made me drink from one of the baby bottles. When my dad got home, he laughed at me and said that at last I was dressed properly. I was brought in for supper. I was bathed, diapered and this time they added a pair of baby pants. They made me wear only the diaper and baby pants for the remainder of the day.
I was kept in night diapers and baby pants until I quit wetting the bed, about six months after this incident. I trained myself to wake up 4 times a night to use the bathroom. They also put me back in the crib and was made to sleep in it even for over a year after I stop wetting the bed. I was also a thumb-sucker and my parents tried everything to break me from the habit before giving up. They would however humiliate me and allow my sisters to humiliate me by taking my thumb out of my mouth while I slept and replace it with a pacifier of baby bottle. I would just keep right on sucking, as if my thumb was still in my mouth. I would be upset when I woke up in the morning and found out I had either the pacifier or bottle in my mouth. They then made me drink my morning juice from a baby bottle. I was allergic to cow's milk, so I drank juice instead. This continued for several years.
The next incident came when I was eight and was helping pull weeds out of the flowerbed. The flowers were just starting to come up and not blooming and I accidentally pulled out a flower instead of a weed. My sisters ran and told my dad what I had done. He came up and slapped me across the face and I started crying. He got mad, called me a big crybaby, and told my sisters to take me in the house and pin a diaper on me and bring me back out. They told him we didn't have any diapers and he told Janice, my sister that was a year older than me, to go next door and borrow a diaper and a couple of diaper pins. He then told Nancy, my sister that was three years older than me, to take me in and undress me.
I kicked and fought my sister as she dragged me into the house. Janice was already back with the diaper and pins before Nancy had me in the house. Janice laid the diaper out on the coffee table and came back to help Nancy get me into the house. I was kicking and screaming my lungs off. Then I told them, "I am going to tell mommy." My father heard this and became furious. He ran and grabbed me and carried me to my room, undressing me as we went. He had me naked before we ever got to my room and he threw me down on the bed and started beating me with his belt. He hit me as hard as he could and whenever I turned to get away from him He would hit me wherever he could, including my privates. He beat me until I was unconscious. My mother came home and my sisters told her that they thought our father had beaten me to death.
My mother also thought I was dead when she first entered the room, but when she turned me over, she noticed I was breathing. She shook me, trying to wake me, but I just continued to lay there limp. She got some baby lotion from next door and rubbed it into the skin on my back, butt, legs and privates, trying to keep the bruising and swelling down. She wrapped me in a sheet off my bed and carried me out to the car. She then drove me to the base hospital. My father was in the Air Force and we were stationed at Orly Field in Paris, France at the time. This was in 1955 and they were no child abuse laws at the time.
I regained consciousness several hours later and spent the night in the hospital. The doctors told my dad that he had almost killed me. They called his commander to the hospital, but nothing happened to him as he promised he would never beat me again. I made a vow that day that I never resist him, my mother, sisters, or anyone else again. That is when I became very submissive.
A few days after I got home, he asked me if I was going to resist again when told to do something and I promised I would not. He then told my sister Janice to go get the diaper she had borrowed. She went and brought it into the front room. He told me to lay on the coffee table, and I did. I was already starting to cry, as I knew what was going to happen. He then had Janice undress me and pin the diaper on me. He did not make me go out and after about 10 minutes he let me take it off and get dress. I think he was just making sure that I had learned my lesson.
My father kept his word and never did beat me again, although I was convinced he would if I ever resisted any other punishment. His favorite thing then was that he would have one of my sisters get out a diaper and some diaper pins, he bought some, and fold the diaper and put it on the coffee table. I would then have to lie on the diaper while they undressed me. I would then have to bring my knees towards my chest and spread them out, in what he called the diaper position, where they could position the diaper under me. Then he would have on of them hold my legs, by my ankles, in position and the other one spank me with either her hand, a belt, or a switch. The last time that he had them do this, I was 10 and several of my friends, and several of their girlfriends were there. He always had them put a pacifier in my mouth to keep me from crying aloud. They never actually diapered me until this last time, he had them pin it on me and then sent me to bed for the rest of the day.
My father died when I was 11, and I thought things would get better, however my mother now was working full time and put my sisters completely in charge of me. They set the rules, when I had to go to bed, what I could or could not do, what I had to wear, whom I could or could not have for a friend. My sisters picked out all the clothes my mother bought me. I was not allowed to pick out any of them. They also picked out any games, toys, etc. that was bought for me. They always bought me underwear from the little boys department, as I was small enough to wear them.
We moved shortly after my father died and my grandmother came to live with us. My sisters still had their authority over me, but now I also had my grandmother to contend with. My mother was working longer hours, plus she was now dating and did not stay home much. My grandmother never did like boys, so my situation became even worse. I tried to spend as much time away from the house as I could.
My sisters introduced me to all their friends as their baby brother. They were always teasing me and calling me a baby. Their favorite thing was to threaten to pull my pants down and spank me if I did not mind them. They did this especially if some of their friends were around and on more than one occasion they followed through with it. I never resisted, as I knew my mother & grandmother would both give me a beating if I did resist. They did not take my underwear off, but would often threaten to.
We took a family vacation to Disney World the summer I was 13. When we stopped for a motel room, my mother got a room with 2 double beds. I asked my to get some extra blankets and sheets, so I could make me a bed on the floor. She said I could not sleep on the floor in a motel, as you never knew who or what had been on it and also that there might be bugs crawling on the floor at night. I then asked where I was supposed to sleep. Nancy then told my mother that she could always get a free crib for me to sleep when like they did when my dad was alive and we traveled. I immediately protested and told Nancy to shut her big ugly mouth. That was a mistake.
My mother slapped me across the face told me to apologize to my sister right away, and I did as tears flowed down my face. My mother, grandmother, and sisters all began teasing me and calling me a big baby. My mother said I had best not complain, as that was what I was acting like. She said my sister was only joking about the crib and she had planned to get me a rollaway bed to sleep in. However, she was now going to ask them if she could have a crib for me to sleep in. She sent Janice to the office to ask for a crib for her brother. Soon Janice was back with a housekeeper and a crib. I did not say anything for fear of what else my mother would do to me.
As soon as the crib was set up, my mother told me to get in it. She then asked me if I remembered how my sisters used to be spank me in the diaper position. I nodded my head yes, as I was crying to hard to answer. I started sucking my thumb, which I had not done, except for at night, in a long time. My mother proceeded to undress me and then told Nancy that since she was the one I had insulted, she could spank me. Nancy then told me to get in the diaper position and gave me 13 swats with her hand, as I was 13 years old. My mother then said that she had made a mistake by not having my sisters to continue to spank me that way. She said from now on, whenever I did not mind, this is how I was to be punished, not only by my sisters, but also by my mother and grandmother. She also said that she did not care if anyone was around to see me being punished, as maybe that would help me to remember to mind. She then told me, I was just lucky no longer had any diapers, baby pants, baby bottles, or pacifiers for me. Then she told me that if my behavior did not straighten up, that would change.
She then told Nancy to put my underwear back on me, as a little baby did not need anything else to wear. When it was time to go to bed, she made me let both Nancy and Janice give me a bath and then stand me in front of the stool to pee. I could not pee with them both watching me, so the put a clean pair of underwear on me and made me get in the crib. They pulled the side of the crib up and I cried myself to sleep. I always did and still do sleep curled up in a fetal position. I think it was from fear of my dad hitting me and just became a habit. When I woke up, I discovered I had wet the bed for the first time since I was six. My mother seen me moving around so she came over and let the side down and then discovered what I had done.
She told everyone that I had wet the bed like a baby, just because I had slept in a baby bed. She, and everyone else, believed that I had wet the bed on purpose because I was mad about them making me sleep in the crib. They still believe to this day, but I did not do it on purpose. My mother then told me I had pushed it too far. I pleaded with her not to punish me as it was an accident. She just laughed it me and told my grandmother to give me a bath and she would be right back.
She went to a drug store and bought me some diapers and Gerber Baby Pants. This store supplied a home for emotionally disturbed kids and carried these larger diapers and baby pants. The Baby pants were the exact same vinyl pants and those for babies, even came in the same type box with the Gerber Baby on it and also on the tag in the back of each pair of baby pants. The diapers were called Juniors, and I think Gerber also made those. They were much thicker and larger than regular diapers. She bought four packages of the diapers, 6 to a package, and 6 pairs of the vinyl baby pants. She also bought me two pacifiers and several baby bottles. Then she got some diaper pins, baby lotion, baby powder, baby soap, baby shampoo, and two bathtub toys (a boat & a rubber duck).
When she came back, she had my grandmother get me out of the tub and dry me off. She then told me to lay down on the bed she and my grandmother had slept in. She proceeded to diaper me and then put a pair of the baby pants on me. I was crying, so she put a pacifier in my mouth. She told Janice to put a T-shirt on me. She then told me if I was now going to wet like a baby, I would be treated like one. She also said that now we could make better time, as we would not have to stop all the time for me to potty. I took the pacifier out to protest and she grab me and stuck it back in, telling me I was never to remove it, only some else could take it out, as babies didn't need to talk.
She then informed me that I was going to be kept in diapers and treated like a baby for the remainder of our vacation. The after we got home, if I behaved myself, I would just be diapered at night and in the afternoons for a nap. I would have a bottle at both naptime and at night. She could see I was trying to ask her something, so she took the pacifier out and warned me I had best not be complaining. I asked her how long I would have to remain in night diaper and take naps in diapers. She put the pacifier back in my mouth and told me that I had gone 7 years without peeing the bed and then relapsed, so she would never take me out of night diapers again. My sisters just laughed and teased me when they heard this, My mother told them they were to have me diapered by 7pm every night, but they could diaper me as early as they wanted to. She also said that anytime I had to be spanked, they were to diaper me and keep me in diapers for the rest of the day.
The vacation turned into a real nightmare for me. I was not allowed to use the bathroom by myself, so one of my sisters would blindfold me and take me into the girl's room. I got to where I only asked to go when I had to have a bowel movement, the rest of the time, I just peed in my diapers. I had to drink everything from the baby bottles. My mother told me to act just like a 2-year-old and whenever someone asked about me, she would tell them I was retarded. I was physically very immature, so when they changed me in front of others, no one complained.
I did not start puberty until I was 27 years old. When I was 26, I had an operation to correct the damages my father had done to my testicles when he beat me. I still have no sex drive of any kind. The only reason they found the damage was that my right testicle swelled up one night while I was working and they had to rush me to the hospital. They had to cut both my pants and underwear off. They then put my testicle in a tray of crushed ice to bring the swelling down. As soon as I got up out of bed to use the bathroom, it started swelling again. This time I passed out from the pain. I do not remember anything after that until I came to in the recovery room. The doctors said it was a pure miracle that I did not lose both my testicles. When I told them how my father had beaten me, they just shook their heads.
I did not have my first climax until I was 28. I was short and skinny all the way through school. I was only 4' tall and weighed 55 pounds when I graduated from high school. I did not start growing until after they operated on me, then I grew 19" over the next 2 years. I went through the voice change and everything else that a boy normally goes through when he is around 13-14. The only thing I never did develop was an appetite for sex, not even masturbation.
I think my family was glad that I was so small and immature, that made it easier for them to control me. The schools did not help either, as they also treated me very babyish. I admit, I was a very hyperactive child all the way through school. Today they would say I was ADD. My sisters often threatened to send me to school in a diaper if I did not stop wetting the bed. I knew my mother did not intend to let me out of diapers at any time, so I did not even try to stay dry.
I saw my sister talking to my coach one day, but I could not tell what she said to him. That night my mother told me that if I was wet in the morning, I would wear a diaper to school for my underwear, and I would not get an exemption from PE. I was now in the 11th grade and was very scared that she would make me do it. The boys all teased me already because of how small and undeveloped I was. I tried my best that night to stay dry but wet anyhow. The next morning, Janice came in and woke me up and the first thing she did was to check my diaper to see if it was wet. She said, "Looks like your going to be in diapers all day."
I got up and went into the kitchen for breakfast, wearing only my wet diaper and baby pants, as I did every morning. After breakfast, both Nancy and Janice took me to the bathroom and removed my diaper. They had me sit on the commode and told me to hurry up and use it. They left the room and came back in about 10 minutes. They then washed me off and took me to my room. Nancy made me lay down on a thick diaper she had already folded on the bed. She then applied baby lotion and powder to the diaper area and pinned the diaper on. She then rubbed baby powder all over me, telling me how I would smell like a sweet baby at school. Next she put a pair of my baby pants on me and the Janice finished dressing me. The diapers were so thick that she could not zip up my pants. Nancy told her to leave the zipper down. They then told me to get my schoolbooks and we went to the bus stop. Everyone could tell I was wearing a diaper, but on one said anything.
Things went fine until PE. I just could not bring myself to go into the locker room and undress in front of the others. Coach came up to me and asked me if I had a problem. I said that I was not feeling too well. He then pulled me into the locker room and asked me if I was not feeling well, because I had peed my bed and now had to wear a diaper. I started crying and everyone started laughing. The coach said my sister had told him how I still wet my bed, wore diapers to bed, and asked if they could send me to school in them for punishment.
The coach had told her he thought that would be a great ideal. He the told me to undress for gym. When I started to put my gym shorts on over my diapers and baby pants, he told me that babies did not need to wear gym shorts. They did this on several occasions the rest of that school year and my Senior year as well.
My mother hired both my sisters' friends and my own friends to baby-sit for me over the years. She gave them all permission to spank me if they felt like I needed one, and if it was at night they had to bathe, diaper me, and get me in bed with a bottle. Most of the girls would diaper me as soon as they got there and treat me like a baby the whole time they were there. They always seemed to find a reason to spank me, and my mother had told them about putting me in the diaper position for my spanking. The girls would usually just spank me with their hands and not very hard. My friends would usually just do what they had to do, except for a couple of them that thought baby- sitting me was real fun. They would humiliate me in every way they could. They would also use either a switch or a belt on me when they punished me. My mother found out and they became my primary baby-sitters, often bringing their girlfriends with them.
I can tell you about many episodes. Especially like going to the fair, amusement parks, and shopping. I still can not understand why I now want this same treatment, after the way I hated it so then. I am still trying to forgive my family, but they do not make it easy.