Part 1

I was riding my bike home from my friend Darrell's house to see him and his family one last time before they took off for the summer. He and his family were leaving to spend two months in Europe. It was going to be a long summer for me, and probably a boring summer as well, not having my best friend around. It was Monday, which started the first full week of summer vacation, and I had no idea how my summer would go or how it would be spent. If anything, I'd probably get stuck doing chores around the place again and only get paid ten dollars a week for it. A lot of kids I knew would have felt quite privileged to get ten dollars a week, but dad made us work hard for it.

On my way back from Darrell's, I cut through the supermarket parking lot on the corner, which served as somewhat of a shortcut. Towards the end of the lot I saw this blue-colored package sitting on the ground. As I rode closer to it I saw that it was a pack of disposable diapers. I thought about how it wound up sitting in the parking lot, apparently unclaimed. I figured that someone probably set the pack on their car, and then got in the car and drove off, forgetting the diapers were there, causing them to fall off.

Seeing these diapers brought out what had always been a latent interest of mine. It was an interest I never understood why I had. While there were probably other boys my age-- ten years old--who had this interest, I knew it wasn't something most kids would want to do, but I did. I wanted to wear diapers again, just like a baby. I not only wanted to wear them, but use them as well. Every now and then-- actually quite frequently-- I'd get this fleeting thought about wearing diapers. Like I said, I never knew what made me think this way, but it sounded like it would be fun to do it. It remained a far-fetched fantasy in the back of my mind that I figured would never happen. Today, I began to think that my fantasy may become more of a reality.

Seeing those diapers lying on the ground gave me an idea. I rode my bike past the point where the diapers were left. I couldn't just leave them there. I thought of how good of an opportunity this was to get a hold of some diapers. Sometimes my fantasy of wearing diapers again would go so far as to envision watching mom grab some diapers off the shelf as we went through the baby section of the supermarket. I'd ask her "what are the diapers for?", and she'd say "they're for you, Randy. I know you'd like to wear diapers again, so I'm getting you some, and when we get home, you can put one on!" Then I'd say "Oh thank you, mom! "The only problem I had with this fantasy was how my older sister Tina would react.

Actually, Tina does know a little bit about my interest in diapers. She's caught me going through mom's women's magazines a few times. She also saw that I would stop leafing through the pages when I got to a diaper advertisement or any picture of a baby or toddler in diapers and then I'd look at it for a little while before moving on to look for the next diaper picture. All Tina ever said to me was "you must like looking at diapers because that's what you look at in mom's magazines." I didn't know what to say to her, so I said nothing and put the magazine down.

Just once I wish I could have gotten some diapers. I always wanted to sneak them into mom's shopping cart like I did with candy bars and cookies, but with diapers I certainly would have been caught, of course, and mom would question me as to why I would ever want diapers in the first place. Tina, on the other hand, would have understood why I wanted them, but she probably wouldn't have known how to explain it to mom.

I had no younger brothers or sisters and none of my friends had any brothers or sisters young enough to be wearing diapers. I had no easy way to get some diapers of my very own, until now. Now, at long last, was my chance to get of some diapers, but I knew I would have to act quickly, or let this rare opportunity pass me by. I certainly didn't count on ever finding diapers just sitting in a parking lot again, so this was my only chance.

I turned back around and stopped to look at the package. They were the extra-large "walker" size diapers, so I knew that they were the largest ones I could ever get a hold of. I looked around to see if someone was coming back to claim them. It didn't appear that anyone was, so I bent down and picked them up with the intention of taking them home with me. If anyone saw me carrying the diapers, they'd probably figure I was running an errand for my mom and getting diapers for my "little brother". They were boy's diapers, hence the blue packaging.

I got home with the diapers with no problems. The problem I had, however, was getting the diapers into my room upstairs. I had my mom and my sister Tina to contend with, but I was mostly concerned about my mom seeing me carrying the package into the house. I didn't want Tina to catch me, either as this would only confirm what she has suspected all along.

I looked around to see where everybody was. Both my mom and my sister were out in the garden in the back yard, so I knew they wouldn't see me go into the house. Having determined the coast was clear, I picked up the package and carried it into the house.

What I didn't know was that Tina was coming up right behind me as I went into the house. Just as I got to the stairs in the house, she saw me carrying the package of diapers.

"Randy!", she exclaimed. "What are you doing with those diapers?"

I was frozen in my tracks. What else could I tell her? "I found them in the parking lot on my way home", I told her.

"What do plan to do with them?", she asked, just staring at me.

I actually didn't mind telling her since I knew that she knew. "I just found them and thought I'd just try wearing them. I figured that you sort of knew I wanted to try wearing them, so I hope you can keep it a secret and not tell mom or dad."

"Sure, I can keep it a secret, but, it's no secret to me, Randy. I know you've wanted to wear diapers for a long time."

"What about you, Tina?", I asked her out of curiosity.

"What? Wear diapers?"

"Have you ever thought about it?"

"No! I haven't!", she responded firmly. "I've never thought about such a thing!"

It seemed reasonable to assume that most children probably have thought about wearing diapers at least once after being toilet trained. Apparently my sister wasn't one of them.

"You mean, you've never thought about what it would be like to go back to diapers? Just once?"

"I said no, I haven't! But I do know you have. I've seen you going through mom's magazines. I've seen you stare at the diapers in the store. I've seen you stare at other kids in diapers. I know more about you than you thought, Randy. Where do you get such crazy ideas, anyway? I'm glad you've finally brought this out in the open!"

"I dunno, I just thought it might be fun to wear diapers again. I just don't know why, but when I found these diapers, I couldn't resist."

"You actually want to try wearing diapers again?", she asked me, acting as if she were questioning my mental well-being.

"Uh huh", I uttered.

"And use them, too?"

"Uh, yeah. That's one reason I'd like to try wearing them."

"You're weird, Randy!"

I was disappointed that Tina didn't accept the idea that I wanted to wear diapers. I couldn't wait to get upstairs to try on one of the diapers. Finally, I was in my bedroom. I closed the door and ripped open the package. I had a supply of 22 diapers. Assuming I wouldn't get any more diapers for awhile, if ever, I knew I would have to ration them and not get carried away with using them up too quickly.

I stripped off my shorts and then my underwear. The mere thought of putting a diaper on got my heart racing. It was so exciting to do this, to actually act upon my fantasy. At the same time I was nervous as I didn't want mom to walk in and catch me. I took one of the diapers and wrapped it over my butt and around to my front side. As I expected, they didn't fit me. The only way they could stay in place was for me to wear my underwear over them. After the diaper was in place I stuffed the package of remaining diapers under my bed to hide them.

I walked over to my mirror to see what it looked like on me. As I looked at my butt, I enjoyed seeing the bulk of the diaper sticking out beneath my white underpants. From the front, I enjoyed a similar view of the diaper bulging the fly front of my underwear outward.

I wasn't planning to leave my room for awhile, so I decided to leave my shorts off while I lounged around reading comic books in my underwear/diaper. A couple hours later my mom came up to my room and knocked on my door. Thinking she would walk in, I threw my bed covers over me.

"Randy! I need you to come with us!", she shouted through the door. "We need you to help us pick up some furniture!"

"Okay, I'll be right down!", I shouted. Summer chores, here we go again.

I knew that I was taking a chance of getting caught wearing them if I left them on, but I had just put the diaper on and didn't want to take it off so soon. Leaving the diaper on beneath my underpants, I slipped my shorts back on and met up with my mom and Tina, who were waiting for me in the pickup truck. As I climbed into the seat, I could hear the diaper crinkling beneath me. Tina must have heard it as she looked at me strangely.

A few miles later we got to the place, a thrift store, where we loaded some old tables and chairs into the back of the truck. When mom was away from us, Tina turned to me.

"You're wearing a diaper now, aren't you?", she asked.

"I told you I was going to try one on!", I replied.

"I don't believe it!", she said. "Now you're actually wearing a diaper! Just don't ask me to change you!"

Back home we unloaded the furniture and set it in dad's workshop where he planned to fix up the furniture and resell it, something he liked to do on the side of his job working as a carpenter.

The four of us had dinner just as dad got home. Afterwards I headed back upstairs to my retreat. As I liked being able to see the diaper underneath my underwear, I took my shorts off again. I started to work on a jigsaw puzzle when I had to go to the bathroom. My natural inclination after having been toilet trained was to get up and go to the bathroom. This time I thought I'd try using the diaper instead. I got up off of my bed and sat down on the hardwood floor of my room (it was an old house). In case the diaper leaked, I wouldn't get my bed wet, and anything that leaked would be easier to clean off the hardwood.

It seemed funny to just sit there and start wetting in my room, so it took me a little while to actually do this. I got myself relaxed and let it out. Within seconds I had just wet the first diaper. As the diaper was intended for the bladder of a three-, maybe four-year-old and not someone who was ten, my pee was enough to completely soak it, and yes, it did leak. Fortunately, the floor's surface made it easy to wipe up, which I ended up doing by using my underwear as it was soaked anyway.

I never knew how fun and gratifying a diaper could be! It gave me a pleasure that I would not come to understand until puberty would strike a few years later. Complacently, I knew I still had 21 diapers left and didn't think much of rationing them at this point. Immediately I reached under my bed and grabbed another diaper and put it on along with a clean pair of underwear. Again, I left the shorts off and just wore my underpants and the accompanying diaper.

Now I had the problem of disposing of the used diapers. I couldn't just let a bunch of used diapers pile up in my bedroom. I knew that it would get to smelling bad in a big hurry, especially since it was summer and my bedroom was right at the apex of the house where it always got hot. I looked out my window. Down below were the garbage cans, two of which had their lids off. It was a long ways away and I had poor aiming skills, so I decided not to chance it. The only way I could dispose of it was to sneak out there with it in the middle of the night.

After playing in my bedroom for an hour, I decided that I was too hot and I needed to cool off in the downstairs where the air conditioner was running. I pulled the diaper out from beneath my underwear before going downstairs. I didn't mind being seen in my underwear, but I didn't want anyone, my parents in particular, to see me with a diaper beneath my underpants. Tina was in the house, but my parents were sitting on the porch out in the back.

I sat down on the couch by the air conditioner. Tina, who was sitting in the chair across from me, said "I see you're not wearing the diaper."

"I thought mom and dad would be down here and I didn't want them to see me."

"What would it matter if they did? You found some diapers and decided to try them on. I wouldn't be surprised if mom knows you've wanted to wear diapers again."

"Yes, but they'd probably ground me if they found I out I had any."

"They'd probably send you to a doctor to get your head examined! Why don't you mind that I know?"

"Because I feel I can actually trust you on this one. I figured that you knew anyway."

"I could still tell mom and dad if wanted to!"

"Please, Tina, I'd rather they not know."

"I don't know how I could tell them if I wanted to! You, wearing diapers! How absurd!"

I didn't even want Tina to know that I sneaked some diapers home in the first place, but since she caught me with them today, I had no choice but to tell her what I was up to. After I got cooled off, I walked out to see mom and dad. After talking to them for a few minutes, mom told me there was a new carton of ice cream in the freezer and offered it to Tina and me. I ran back into the house and dished it up. I went back out to the couch and sat down with it.

"That looks good", said Tina. "Wanna get me some?"

"Sure." She was being pretty cool about the fact she knew I wanted to wear the diapers-- not telling mom or dad-- so I felt obliged to honor her request.

Mom and dad came back in just as it got dark. I watched the news with them and then went back upstairs to bed. I slipped the diaper back on again and went to bed wearing it. I didn't have a problem with wetting the bed, but I began thinking and wishing I was a bedwetter so I'd have to wear diapers all the time. I decided to become a bedwetter overnight, literally.

Even with a fan blowing the cool night air in from my window it was still stuffy in my room. I tossed and turned awhile, switching to the other side of the bed which had cooled off. Just as I finally got comfortable I needed to pee again. As I didn't have to go as much, I felt that the diaper could more adequately hold my urine. As I lied there I wet into the diaper. It only leaked a little, though the diaper itself was maxed out. I wanted to lie there in the wetness and enjoy it, which I did for a few minutes. Then I decided that I'd better get rid of the used diapers before they stink up my bedroom.

I got the wet diaper off and immediately replaced it with another diaper. I decided to put two of them on since they didn't have much capacity. I grabbed two more diapers from the bag, which still left 18 of them. Rationing was still not a concern yet, though I realized that they would be gone in less than a week at the rate I was going.

I picked up the wet diapers, including the first one I wet, and tried to sneak downstairs quietly after mom and dad had gone to bed. It didn't help that my bedroom door squealed so loudly. I started to open it slowly, but the sustained squeak it made would have awakened Tina, whose bedroom was opposite of mine. I finally just threw the door open, making the squeak much shorter in duration and high-pitched.

The stairs proved to be a challenge in keeping quiet. Each step was accompanied by a creaking sound. I walked along the side of the stairs where they didn't creak so badly. I was finally downstairs. I wanted to go out the back door, but mom and dad's bedroom was on that side of the house, so I ended up walking out to the front door and taking the long way around to the back of the house where the garbage was. I dropped the two diapers in the trash and covered them with some other refuse that had been tossed in there.

I tip-toed back through the house, and went back up the stairs cautiously and quietly. I went into my room, leaving the door open. I discovered the air flowed through the room more freely by leaving the door open, anyway. I climbed into my bed, which had cooled off completely. I lied down on my bed, with no covers over me, and finally dropped off to sleep.