Author: Jimmy A. Goodheart
It's been over a year now, but I remember the first time I was put back into diapers like it was yesterday.
I remember I was seven years old because I had just had my birthday about three or four days earlier. It was at the mall, and I wanted to buy some toys at K. B. Toy Store with the money I had gotten for my birthday, but my mother was shopping for something else. I can't remember what she was shopping for, but I went along to pick up and buy some toys.
My mother was looking at clothes at SEARS and I was really bored. I played hop-scotch on the tiles on the floor I was so bored. And that's when I suddenly had to go to the bathroom. I felt the pee building up inside me and I told my mom I had to go. She said, "O.K. honey we'll go in just a minute." I told here I had to go right away.
After I told her I had to go really, really, bad she said that she was done looking and we could go. And that's when Mary ran into my mom at SEARS. My mom said, "Hi Mary, I didn't expect to see you here." And Mary said, "Hey lady, watch you been doing?" Mary had a little boy named Nicolas and my mom and Mary talked a bit. That's when I told my mom again that I had to go to the bathroom really bad. My mom told Mary I had to go to the bathroom and she would see her later, but Mary said she would walk with my mom and me.
We were walking to the bathroom and my mom and Mary were talking, a lot. I remember wishing I could be pushed in a stroller like Nicolas because I could barely walk I had to pee so bad. My mom told me not to hold myself because it didn't look good, but I couldn't hold it holding myself. My stopped walking and told me again to stop holding myself because we were in public. I told her I couldn't hold it. And that's when it happened.
I felt it hurt on the tip of my you-know-what and my pants started to get warm and wet, and them my hands got warm and wet. I was standing there in the middle of the mall with people looking at me as they walked by. Pee ran down my legs, more so on my right and got my sock wet, and I made a little puddle of pee where I was standing.
My mom grabbed me by my armpits and carried me quickly to the bathroom, which was still a long ways away. It hurt my armpits but I just held myself so I wouldn't pee anymore. My mom was angry. She said that if I had to go that bad I should have told her. I told her I did, but she ignored me and carried me to the bathroom.
I remember I was set down on a table and looking at a bunch of stalls with toilets. The bathroom was big and an ugly brownish color. The table was sticking out of the wall and was made of metal, I think it was there for changing babies because I remembered feeling like a baby on a changing table.
My mom started taking off my shoes and told me to stop crying. I told her I couldn't, and she told me I'd better. I could tell she was mad. She took paper towels and told me to dry myself off. I tried and then she tried but it didn't work very well. I told her I still had to go. She then took me off the table and put me down by a toilet and told me to go. So I did. Then while I was doing my business Mary came in and asked how things were going. My mom told Mary I was soaking wet and we would have to go home so because I had to change. Then Mary asked, "How bad is it?" My mom said, "He's soaked."
I tried to go pee but I couldn't. I told my mom I couldn't go and she told me, "just go," like I just could. I told her I didn't have to anymore, even though I did. My mom said, "Of course not, you emptied yourself out already."
Mary said, "I have an idea, why don't you come out here real quick and talk to me. I don't want to leave Nicolas outside." and then she ducked back out the door. I thought pulling up my pants would be a bad idea, but leaving them down wasn't a good idea either. I ended up pulling up my wet pants and it felt gross.
My mom came back in a little while later. She looked at me right in the eyes and said, "I still have some shopping to do so you have two choices. You can either wear those and wait for them to dry or I can put you into a diaper." I couldn't believe my ears. I thought for a moment about the wearing a diaper and how it would be big under my pants and people might see it. But I could feel my private parts starting to feel like they were burning from the pee and it hurt and itched and people would see my wet pants. My mom said, "Hurry up and make a decision, I haven't got all day." I thought some more and I felt uncomfortable in my wet pants but I didn't want to wear a diaper like a baby. And my mom said, "make a decision or I'll make one for you." and then said, "fine!" and stormed off out of the bathroom.
She came back in with a diaper in her hand and placed it on the changing table. I know now it was a changing table because I saw a trash can with diapers in it under it. My mom picked me up by my armpits again and placed me back on the table again.
I said, "I don't want to wear a diaper." and my mom said, "then you shouldn't have wet your pants like a baby." I started to cry and my mom said, "You cry like a baby."
I said, "But I'm not a baby." and my mom said, "Do you want to go out there and walk around in the mall with wet pants and be uncomfortable?" I thought about wearing a diaper again and how it would be more comfortable then my wet underwear and I said, "No."
She said, then make up your mind, "Do you want to stay in your wet pants?" and I said, "No." and stopped crying. Then which is it? She asked. Because I have to finish shopping and your either going to wear those wet pants and be uncomfortable and have everyone see your wet pant, or I can put you in a dry diaper and at least you wont feel wet." I thought about how I would look with wet pants and I started crying again, "I don't want to go out there." I cried like a baby.
My mom said, "Look, I only have a little more shopping to do, and it doesn't mean you're a baby if you wear a diaper so quit crying like one or I'll treat you like one." and then my mom pulled my legs up on the table and laid me down on the baby changing table and started to take off my shoes.
My mom took off my shoes and then my socks. She said, "You got you socks wet too I see." and then took off my socks. Then she unsnapped my pants and unzipped them and pulled them off. I remember my underwear felt cold and wet in the bathroom air. She then folded my pants up and laid them on the changing table by my feet. I remember I barely fit in that changing table, my head was touching the brick wall and my feet almost touch the other brick wall by my feet.
My mom then pulled my underwear off and I put my hand down to cover myself but my mom stopped me and said, "Ah, ah, ah. Don't." and moved my hands away. "Your all wet." My mom said, "wait right here AND DON'T MOVE A MUSCLE. If your not laying exactly like this when I get back you'll be sorry." So I did.
My mom left the bathroom for a little bit. It felt like a long time, but it was only like a minute. I remember looking up at the styrofoam sealing tiles and thinking about how they looked. They were yellowish with black spots from water leaking on them. I then covered myself up for a minute but watched the door for when she came back in. I remember feeling the cold table under my bare butt.
My mom opened the door and I saw here outside talking to Mary saying, "Thank you, it's just he's all wet. Yeah, yeah, thank you." I put my hands down by my side real quick and looked at her like nothing had happend. My mom had a plastic box of wet ones for babies in her hand and put them down right next to my head. They were real close to my face. I could smell the wipes wafting up to my nose and I felt like a baby.
My mom then grabbed my ankles and picked them up real hard. She lifted my rump off the table and by my ankles and my I really felt like a baby. But I was quite, I just stared at the ceiling but I could still see everything that was going on. I remember feeling my butt touch down and the diaper and it wasn't cold like the table. It was worm like cotton. I felt something in my private parts start to tingle and quickly went to cover them with my hand but my mom slapped them lightly and said, "Ah, ah, behind your head." and pointed at my me with her finger.
I felt my stomach gurgle and I had to burp. I remember burping without opening my mouth, I burped in my throat. I suddenly realized what was going on like I didn't know before. I was being put into a diaper like a baby. My mom began to wipe my private parts with the wet wipes. It felt cold want damp and she even wiped my rump with them. I kept looking at the ceiling and I realized I was smiling, so I quickly tried not to. I made a frown and said, "I'm not a baby." My mom said, "Well you shouldn't wet yourself. If you can't keep yourself dry then I will have to do it for you." I then kicked my legs a hole bunch and managed to kick the diaper out from under me and said, "I'm not wearing a diaper!" My mom said it was too late and I would do what she told me. "Now stop kicking and acting like a baby or I will start treating you like one."
I smiled and I think my mom saw me but I don't know. She rolled me over on my side and smacked my but with her hand and said, "Now stop moving." I began to cry. She said, "I didn't smack you that hard now stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about." I stopped crying but frowned real hard.
My mom picked the diaper up off the floor. Then a lady came. She looked at me and then went into one of the stalls. My mom looked at me and said, "You better quick." I suddenly felt numb. I didn't want to cause a seen with the lady in the bathroom.
My mom then lifted me back up by my ankles again and placed me back on the diaper. She then fastend the right tap and then the left tap and then said, "There, it fits." I remember it felt really, really, tight but it also felt kinda good. I felt my stomach gurgling again and I felt like I had to fart. I looked down at the diaper and saw my mom putting my pants and underwear, and socks in her bag and thought to myself that I thought I would be wearing the diaper under my pants. My mom looked over and saw me looking and said, "Your going to have to wear your shoes without your socks since you them all wet."
I said, "I don't want to wear this." and started crying and began pull it off. My mom slapped my right hand and said, "No, I gave you a choice but you didn't take it. Now I only have to pick up two more things and then we can go home. You wanna act like a baby, I'll treat you like a baby."
Just then the lady who was in the stall came back out of the stall and I looked her right in the eye and immediately stopped crying. She then walked to leave the bathroom. My mom said, "You start acting like a big boy and I'll treat you like one, but you keep crying and acting like a baby and that's how I'm going to treat you." The lady then wet outside the bathroom.
My mom said, "No come on, let's put your shoes on." and she started to put my left shoe on my foot but she shoved and it wouldn't go on. "Come on now, quit acting like this. Help me get your shoe on," my mom said. I did and the shoe went on. She then put my other shoe on and tied them both up. "Here, let me help you down," she said and picked me up by my armpits again and put me on the floor. Just then the bathroom door opened and a girl my age walked in front of her mom into the bathroom. The girl stopped and bumped into her mom and looked right at me. She looked at my diaper and then stared, looked me up and down and then stared at me. Her mom said, "Come on." and the girl walked towards me staring at me and then went into a stall.
I was so embarrassed I wanted to go hide in a stall. My mom then said, "Come on." to me and I looked at her and she was looking at me holding out her left hand for me to take hold of it. I just stood there stunned until she said, "Come on." to me again and then I put took her hand and my mom led me out of the bathroom.
I remember the bathroom door opened up and there was a lady standing there waiting for her daughter and a boy who was a little older then me came out of the men's restroom and looked at me and then walked over to his mom. I just stared at him and his mother told him it wasn't nice to stare so he looked away. My mom gave Mary back her wet wipes and we went back out into the mall. I began to get really, really, scared. I looked around and saw people looking at me as we walked through the mall.
My mom led me back to Sears and when she was looking at clothing she kept grabbing my hand and yanking me around. I kept looking around the store at all the babies in strollers or being carried by their moms and dads. It thought their were babies everywhere all of a sudden. I was looking at one baby sleeping in a stroller and thinking, "Isn't he lucky he gets to sleep while his mom shops and I have to stand." And just then it happened. I had to go to the restroom again. I felt the pee that I didn't pee before and I could feel it. I didn't have to go really bad like I did before but I did have to go pee again. I told my mom I have to go pee again. My mom looked at me with a cough-like sound and said I just went. I told here that I didn't finish before and she said that we were just in the bathroom and I should have gone when I had the chance. "Just go in your diaper," she then said.
I thought about how I didn't want to go in the diaper like a baby, but that I kinda did. So I looked around to see if anyone was watching and tried to go in the diaper but I couldn't. I couldn't go so I just held it and said, "I can't." And my mom said, "Then you'll just have to hold it." My mom looked around at more clothes and I thought about how I had to go to the bathroom but couldn't. I kept trying to go but I couldn't. I even tried to force it out and made grunting noises and my mom looked at me and said, "Your not taking a poop in there, are you?" I said no, I just needed to go pee but couldn't in the diaper. My mom said that she wasn't walking all the way back to the bathrooms until she was done looking and that I needed to practice holding it anyway. So I did. I held it.
My mom looked around a little more and then said that if I could hold it like a big boy until she was done shopping that she would buy me some toys at K. B. Toy store and I wouldn't have to spend my birthday money if I didn't want to, so I said, "all right."
I remember my mother kept grabbing a hold of my hand or pushing my shoulder when ever she moved around the store. I tried to sit down but she snapped her fingers at me and said, "No, stay close." and then pulled me close by her. I looked around and an thought of how I was wearing a diaper and tried to make sure no one could see me, but really I didn't care if they did. I looked at the diaper and saw it had little blocks on it and ducks and stuff on it like a baby and it was too small. It barely fit me.
Finally my mom left SEARS and then we left sears and went towards the bathroom and I thought I would be able to go to the bathroom soon but I didn't really want to go to K. B. Toys in a diaper, but we went past the bathroom and I said I had to go to the bathroom. My mom said either hold it like a big boy or go in the diaper like a baby, it's your choice." I said I had to go in the bathroom, and she said she wasn't done shopping yet.
I felt the pee in my bladder begin the push out a little, I could feel I needed to go but I could hold it. So I did. We then went to McCools or something like that. It's another big store like SEARS but was on the opposite side of the store. I remember looking at all the people and seeing them staring at me when we walked through the mall. I found myself smiling at some of them but the would frown real hard and stomp to show them I wasn't happy. My mom told me to quit acting like a baby so I stopped stomping.
It was boring in McCools too. I said, "Mom, I wanna go home." and she said, "I know honey but I'm almost done and I don't get to come out here often." as she looked at an ugly yellow shirt. I said I didn't want to go to K. B. And I just wanted to go home. My mom then said, "Quit whining now. You're starting to sound like a baby." I thought I wasn't but I was wearing a diaper I thought, and then I felt the pee again. I felt it and realized I could just go pee right there. So I did. I could have held it, but I just went pee and then while I was going pee I said, "Uh oh." and noticed some of it leaked out.
"Oh Jimmy." My mom said. "That's it." And she grabbed me by my left and pulled me out of the store. She had some clothe in her hand when she was dragging me and place them on the counter in front of a lady who stared at me with her mouth open. My mom said, "Would you hold onto these? I have to go take care of him." and pulled me out of the store. I tried to keep up with her but she was going fast and I had to almost run. I noticed some of the pee was dripping out of the diaper and I kept looking at it as she yanked me along.
She took me into Walgreen's which was in the mall, but I didn't understand why until that day. I remember my mom pulling me behind and she was looking through the ILS and found the one with diapers. She turned and looked at me and then looked at the diapers again and then pulled a package of diapers off of the shelf and said, "Hold these." and then she gave them to me. She then picked up some baby powder and wet wipes and then took my hand. I said "here" and tried to hand her the diapers back but she said, "If your going to be wearing them you can hold them," and I thought to myself, "Oh no, I'm going to be wearing these. I hope I don't have to wear them. What about school. Oh, no, school!"
My mom then bought the diapers and stuff and the woman kept looking at me the whole time. My mom then grabbed my hand again and pulled me through the mall. I saw that girl and her brother I had seen in the bathroom as we went towards the bathroom but she was heading the other way like they was leaving the mall for good with her mom. I couldn't really look at anything I just kept staring at the bathroom after I saw the girl.
My mom took me into the ladies bathroom again and took the diapers out of my hands and put them on the changing table. My mom then picked me up by my armpits again and I started crying, and I don't even know why. I said, "I'm sorry, mom. I didn't mean to." But my mom didn't say anything. She just opened up the diapers. I started thinking about how I would look wearing diapers at school and what the other kids would think of me wearing diapers in school. And I said, "I'm sorry, mom." again. And then said, "I won't do it again. I promise." But then she said, "lie down." She pulled my legs to make me lie down. I looked down at the diaper and watched as she untaped the left side and then the right. I felt the cool air creep in again, but this time it the air didn't feel so weird. It felt good.
My mom then unfolded a diaper in front of me and then placed it down by my feet. She then opened up the wet diaper and I felt the cool air drying my private parts. I went to cover myself but before I even got close my mother pointed at me and said, "Behind your head," and so I did.
I stared up at the ceiling again for a moment and then felt her grab my ankles in her left hand. I looked down at my side and watched as she slid the wet diaper out from under me and the dry diaper under like she had done this many times before and it was just the same old thing.
She then lowered me back down and onto the dry diaper, it felt kinda funny to me even though I was just in a diaper. I watched as my mom opened a pack of wet wipes and then pulled one out. She wiped me clean as she had before but this time it seemed a bit faster then the last. My mom then tapped the back of my hand and said, "Behind your head." and I placed my hand back behind my head. They had moved and I didn't notice when she lifted me up to put me on the diaper.
She then lifted the baby powder and began to powder my private area with the baby powder and I remember noticing that I felt happy. I felt good. My stomach felt a little gargoyle again but not as much as the first time and I felt the cool powder sprinkle on my parts and it felt cool and soft.
My mom then pushed my legs apart at a bit and pulled the diaper up between them and then down over my privates. This diaper touched my belly button unlike the first one that hung around my waist. I remember thinking the diaper is too big. And then I thought to myself, why can a diaper be so big that it fits me? Then she taped the left really tight, and then the right side tightly, too, so that the diaper fit me really snug. I felt good, I felt like a baby but it felt good. Then I realized I was in the mall. I became a worried again. I know I was just out there in the mall in a diaper but now I was wearing a diaper that fit me. It was almost bigger then me, I thought. And people might think I have to wear them all the time.
My mom then pulled me by my armpits into a sitting position and then picked me up and placed me on the ground. "Here." My mom said and then put the package of diapers in my hands. I remember looking at them closely because I wondered how big they were that they fit me. For all of you reading, they were Pampers Size 6 with Barney on them. My mom put the baby powder and baby wipes in her purse and then looked over at me and said, "I'm going to have to buy you a diaper bag. I wonder if there are any store that sell them here." I became a little worried but I couldn't think of anything to say or do. I kind of felt like doing nothing. Took me by the shoulder and began to walk me out of the ladies bathroom when a few teenage girls came in all at once and talking to each other like they all knew each other. On of them looked at me and laughed a kind of laugh and then the all looked at me and laughed at me. My mom led me out of the bathroom by mo shoulder after that and out into the hall again.
I remember thinking, I am a baby and so what. Then we went back to McCools so my mom could get her clothes and then she was going to take me to K. B. But I told her I just wanted to go home. I was worried about the kids in the store seeing me. I didn't realize it back then but I was very lucky none of my friends from my town or school saw me. We went home and when we got to my street I saw my friends playing out in front of one of their yards and they saw me and started to follow our car. One of my friends waved to and I waved back, trying to act like everything was normal. They followed our car up to the driveway and almost came up to the car, but my mom said I was grounded and couldn't talk to them. I felt lucky. Then she came over to my door and started to open it up. I pulled it closed really fast and locked it. I said, "I'm not coming out." My friends then came up to the back of the car and were looking in. I couldn't tell if they could see that I was wearing a diaper or not. I thought they could but they didn't act like the could. I tried to wave them to go away and yelled that I would come out and play later, but then my mom said that I wouldn't be coming out later and that they needed to go home.
Eventually they left and my mom told me to open the door and quit misbehaving and so I unlocked it. She then opened the door and told me to get inside. I told her I couldn't because it was locked. But she said to go wait at the door and she would unlock it. I said, "Mom!", and then I started crying.
She said, "get up by the door." I said, "My friends will see me," and she said, "You shouldn't have been acting like a baby, and you wouldn't have this problem, now get up there! Here's my key, you go unlock it like a big boy then."
I took the key and raced to the door and unlocked it. I took a quick glance around and saw my friends were watching me. I felt so embarrassed I couldn't find the key to open the door. I finally found it when my mom came up. I started to unlock the door but my mom turned the handle and told me to get inside.
I started to go up to my room to change into some underwear and pants but my mom said, "Wait!" as I got halfway up the stairs.
"You get back down here and sit on the couch." My mom said. So I did. "I'll be right back and you better be right there when I come back out here or you'll be sorry." And I know what she meant when she said that I would be sorry. So I sat on the couch and turned on the TV. My mom came back out of her bedroom and said, "Turn that TV off! You're grounded." And I said, "Why?" She said, "Because of the way you acted in the mall." and I said, "I couldn't help it, I had to go." and she said, "I understand and we're going to deal with that too, but I'm talking about how you behaved." and I tried to think of what she meant. "You kicked me." She said, "and you made a big fuss like a big baby when you didn't need to. Wearing a diaper doesn't make you a baby, Jim," she said, "but you acted like a baby and now you have to prove to me you can act like a grownup." I wanted to cry but thought it was not a good idea so I held it back.
"Now." She said, "Because of your behavior, you're going to be grounded all weekend, and because you could not hold your bladder and I had to buy a package of diapers, you are going to wear each and every one of them so I get my money's worth." I started to say, "But mom," and she cut me off and said, "You will wear each one of them, and if you wet them I will buy another package of which you will have to wear until you stop wetting them." I began to cry and I tried to say I wasn't going to wear them when she cut me off again said, "Now, you're going to go up to your room and you're not going to take off the diaper unless it is to use the restroom or take a shower. You will not take it off for any reason. You know what. Come," she said, and then came over and took my hand and led me upstairs to my bedroom. She then went into my top drawer and took all of my underwear and shoved them into my hands and then said, "Come," and led me back down stairs to her bedroom and said, "put them on my bed." So I did.
She then said, "I know how many diapers come in a pack and I know how many there are in there now. If I find that any are missing when I have not changed you myself I will buy another pack to make sure you don't cheat. You are going to wear each of these diapers and if you wet them you I will buy another pack. You are going to have to prove to me that you can go without wetting yourself before I will put you back in underwear. You understand?" I looked at her and said, "Yeah," and she said, "You understand?" and I said, "Yeah," and she said, "Say yes like a big boy. Don't be lazy and say yea." and so I said, "Yes."
I went all weekend without wetting a diaper. I knew I could go all week or all year. I was not a baby even if I was wearing a diaper. I could hold it. Just some times you have to go really bad. I think that happens to everybody. My mom ended up letting me have my underwear back to go to school and I got made fun of by one kid who was told I had to wear diapers by one of my friends. Everybody at school made fun of me and I even had my pants pulled down by one the same kid who made fun of me. I wasn't wearing a diaper, though. But my mom made me wear them to bed. I went three days and just because I wanted to I wet a diaper at night. In the morning my mom didn't even get up set with me she just told me to take a shower and get ready for school and handed me a pair of underwear. When school got out a few days later I had to wear them full time. I told my mom I didn't wet when I was wearing underwear at school so I didn't need them during the day, but she said that was not the point and I was lucky she didn't make me wear them to school. But really think she liked having me wear them. I began wetting the bed more every night just because I wanted to and every day she would change me in the morning. Then I started wetting during the day just for fun and she would change me. Now I wear diapers almost every day and my friends who stay the night will wear them, too, because now it's a house rule they have to. They don't, mind, though. I think they like it, too.
Well that's my story I hope you like it. It's all true as much as possible. Some things may be different but I didn't change how it happened.