I have said it a thousand times, I was spanked with a cane once, and that was once way too many times and got this woman's flat white ass red, bruised for days, and even into the next week. I am not a pain slut by any means. That kind of pain to me is not enjoyable no matter how you try to spin it. It's too harsh for us. Which is why, what I am going to tell you later won't make a lot of sense, but try to follow along here.
I could write a book about spanking and the psychological aspects behind why both sexes need, want, and desire spankings. With out getting into too much psychobabble about the reasoning's each sex has these desires, I will tell you what it is that we probably both want , need and desire when it comes to being spanked, or giving the spankings.
In the most of basic terms of spanking, there are good spankings and bad spankings. Good spankings are playful and given to excite the other, usually as a form of pre-sex activity. Then there are the bad spankings as we like to call them, and these spankings are serious in nature, are given with intent and purpose, and are not in any way, shape, or form, related to, or a prelude to sex.
I love it, and so does he when we are playing around and we get into the spanking issue. It's fun and exciting and usually leads into something sexual. Then there are the serious spankings, we like to call them 'bad spankings". Neither of us want to get them and neither of us really want to give them , but because we know it's what is totally in their best interest, we both submit to what has to happen. It really brings a new meaning to the phrase I grew up with as being, "this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." I never understood that until now. We hate spanking each other for the bad things we do, but we do so because we love the other enough to try and correct their short comings and to encourage each other to do and be our very best, and sometimes we need that to be reminded. So in a relationship like ours, in order for us to have kept our relationship as long and happy and healthy as we have been we use our good/bad spanking as one of our many check and balances so to speak.
At one point in Kansas I took him over the edge, I pushed him too far, and not with how hard I was spanking him, but with my words and my hurt over some of the things he did. So in this instance, he received a real spanking. Getting close to the end of the session he started crying, and at one point he even asked me to stop because he didn't think he could handle it any more. So stop means stop and I started to undo his restraints. It was at this time he realized that he actually in fact had not received enough, and he asked me to continue, so I tied his ass back up and spanked him some more. He was sobbing like a baby. I had finally broken down one of the few remaining walls he had up in his personal life. In a few more minutes I stopped, undid his restraints and went to his side and rubbed his back to console him. He continued crying for quite a long time. In the end he sat up and hugged me and told me that he needed that more than anything in the world and he felt safe again, and secure with a lot of things he felt were out of control.
Well during the next trip, needless to say, I was not being a very nice person, crabbing about every little thing, saying rather hurtful things according to him, and finally one day he too had had enough. He ordered me to drop my pants and panties, lay over the bed, and he started spanking me with our leather paddle. As he was spanking me, he was telling me why he was spanking me, and each time I tried to give a rebuttal he just spanked me all that much harder. By the end, he had be crying, really crying, not just sobbing. And you know something, it felt great to allow myself that release that I had so been longing for. I did change my attitude right quick after that mind you, lol.
While we are not into caning because of how harsh it is, both of us had and still have the need, want and desire to be spanked hard enough to make us cry. It's the meaning behind the good/bad spanking that makes the spanking what it is really meant to be.
My ultimate goal with him still to this day is to be made to watch him as I stand there in front of him as he unhooks and removes his belt from his pants and tells me that I am going to get spanked for a major infraction I have done. Then I want him to make me drop my pants for him and have to listen to what it is I have done, then when he is done talking he will make me bend over the bed with my elbows and head on the bed. then with each crack of his belt, I would have to count them off to him
Someday perhaps I might talk him into that, maybe someday? Oddly enough, and psychologically speaking we humans need to cry once in a while. It's our reality check, and keeps for us anyway our lives balanced and on an even keel.
So for us, our spanking implements of choice currently are our open hands, our leather paddle, and soon, hopefully his belt.! I will let you know the next time we get together if he's man enough to take his belt off and give me a few cracks across my fanny.
Keeping my fingers crossed, ll
Mashie