Strange Anal Insertions

When I first started gaping someone told me to try kumquats as a sub for anal beads...I'm not sure if that would be safe :/

The weirdest ever is a guy who shoved a live eel up his ass.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=live+eel+in+anus&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1220&bih=721&tbm=isch&tbnid=uCLFMrTPghtKxM:&imgrefurl=http://www.estergoldberg.com/views_from_a_broad/2012/09/eel-removed-from-mans-ass-in-new-zealand-and-we-dont-know-how-it-got-there.html&docid=4jx5g9cyGWRU6M&imgurl=http://www.estergoldberg.com/.a/6a0105349ca980970c017c3220a7a6970b-500wi&w=445&h=547&ei=yWcyUf7eOKb-0gGmuoE4&zoom=1&ved=1t:3588,r:37,s:0,i:202&iact=rc&dur=1697&sig=107032815472920730073&page=3&tbnh=182&tbnw=164&start=31&ndsp=21&tx=109&ty=71

My own fav, if odd, was a long kinna twisty japanese eggplant

http://s771.beta.photobucket.com/user/rt_peasant/media/P1000604Large.jpg.html

like the third one down.

I could S L O W L Y slide it up my ass all the way. I think it went right up my colon. I could walk around with it inside me. A delicious feeling. Also cool in pooping it out, since it was soooooo warm from being inside me.

Anything that will go in without causing injury is fair play - the obvious phallic vegetables are a good place to start. What do you suppose people used before we got smart enough to start making dildos? Did you ever wonder if vaginal or anal use came first? This is one of those early discoveries like the first use of hallucinogenic drugs that would have been interesting to witness as the proverbial " fly on the wall." What did they use for lube? Mastodon fat? Was a woman the first to put a phallic analog up her cunt or ass or was it a man putting it up his ass? Hmmm, just noticed that word analog I used. ANALog. I guess that clinches it, dildos first entered the asses of women or men (and perhaps some other animals too).

Hey AnnTrax - your story about the eel reminded me of something really gross: There is a kind of saltwater eel called the hagfish. It is slime-producing so goes in easily. So far so good. But, this animal makes its living by entering its victim through the poor creature's anus and then - - OMG this is really awful - -eating its victim from the inside out. If that doesn't creep one out, nothing will although I suppose this might have a perverse attraction to anally oriented snuff-sex types.

Potatoes , a vast range of shapes and sizes . I often spend time selecting just the right ones from the store without the dirty looks i get when buying cucumber , eggplant etc etc . I shoved two potatoes in one after the other once , ( untethered ) the second one popped out ok but the first one got 'lost' for a few worrying minutes but then appeared by itself .

Umm wow let's see. Let's start with vegetables. Carrots, zucchini, cucumbers. Tools - hammer handle, screwdriver handle, Maglite 4D flash lite. Toys of various sizes, shapes colors and materials. If I thought it would feel good, I tried it!

I thought I had lost a screw driver once. It was the type with the removable tips, so I had put a rubber vacuum plug over the small end, and tied a condom on it. I had worn it for awhile doing house chiors, the sat down. It "went around the bend" for lack of any other description. After a short panic I layed down and relaxed, releasing it. The fun still out-weighed the panic!

When I am in the mood, I often get an overwhelming desire to insert things that don't belong in my ass in. Don't get me wrong, I like a good dildo, plug, finger, or vibrator as much as the next guy, but sometimes I need oddity. Broom handles, dog toys, kids toys, fruit and Veges, tools, etc. the more odd the better. Anybody else have these urges and if so give me some ideas.

I've had all manner of things up there. Plastic shampoo bottles, plastic soda bottles, cucumber, zucchini, metal hair mousse bottle......

I have used various veggies.Big cucumbers are one of my favorites.I have used butternut squash when I wanted something big.Also regular squash and carrots.I enjoy most anything I don't think will do damage.

Her fist. Crazy sexy!

This thread just gave me a ridiculous amount of ideas. Weirdest so far is dog toys. Weren't that great unfortunately.

I've inserted ice, Popsicles, tools, marshmallows, bananas, carrots, grapes just about anything that would look like will feel good ohh and I've put a vibrating tooth brush in there to

Well mostly i shoved ......finger and a sharpie (almost died when it got lost up there....tool handles marbles

Toothbrush I tried wasn't as good as I thought it would be.

I do not laugh,just smile,things like this has happened to all of us and may be happen again,if we are not very careful . Never thought of using a kitchen implement like this,thank you,i will try and tell you the results

Finger, enema nozzle, vibrator. Doesn't matter. They all feel great especially at the point of orgasm.

I've made some wooden butt plugs on my wood lathe to see how far I could stretch my ass. I have some that are really tight and they take a long time to insert comfortably. I can't leave them in for long or the removal process is even longer. I also have drilled holes through golf balls and threaded strong string through them and then inserted them in my ass. I can get up to three in at one time. When I get past the waiting period for the gallery, I'll post a few pics of these.

I got a glass dildo up my arse right now, I cant get enough of it

Peeled cucumber - inbuilt lube and I love teasing a tied down recipient who knows it will go up their arse, watching me peel it and wondering how large I am going to amke them take it.

After nearly 3 months of poor health with no anal fun whatsoever ( apart from a soapy finger in the shower ) i discovered that none of my toys fitted anymore , all my plugs are between 2 1/4" - 2 1/2" as i have allways discarded or melted down ( wax plugs ) smaller ones as i have progressed in size . Despite two hours trying + 1/2 a tube of lube i had to give up as things were getting a bit sore , flat batteries in my 8" vibrator too , all very fustrating . Even in this time of need i didn't consider reaching for a beer bottle . A few weeks ago i opened a lively bottle of Bud , i skimmed the foam off with the palm of my hand and within seconds everything was very red ! I now have a 2" long scar which at the time was as deep as 1/8" and i bled like a pig . After the drama was over i examined the bottle and could only just see the offending chip , i dread to think of the consequences if that had been twisted up my tail-pipe !! Two lessons can be taken from this , 1) NEVER stick ANYTHING made of glass up your ass . 2) 35 + years of daily masterbation has had no noticable effect on my eyesight whatsoever ;-)

Ive been addicted to putting dove bar soap up my ass and then shoving a good sized dildo inside as well. The contractions as so strong!! Its hard to keep the dildo in. I try to challenge myself and keep it in as long as possible. Within the last year i started sitting on a biday while doing it. I use a suction dildo and its hands free. I just grab on to the sides of the biday and yell till i cant hold it in anymore. (The warm jet of water makes it more enjoyable, before the biday i just filled the bathtub and did it in there) When im ready to let it all out I lift my bottom up and the warm jet of water feels amazing as it rinses me out... Ik its really out there but its really addicting😃

And I thought a hot dog was weird....I have gotten quite a few ideas from reading this thread....I think grapes will be next!

I tried small, metal ball bearings... I thought they would feel good sliding out but they didn't come out as easily expected and I was too scared to enjoy it as much as I wanted to, lol...

Oh,anything that will fit, won't hurt, and you're sure will come out again. Oh, and nothing you are about to give to your mum for her birthday.

I love anal play and this stream of comments is so interesting !

I'm so far just your basic toys; anal butt plug and two dildos (small and large).

I have enjoyed bananas at "both ends" 😃)

I'm sure I'll have more ideas as I continue to read these posts.

Thanks for the site !

and all who contribute !

I've inserted bananas, cucumbers, dildos and even ice cubes. The ice cube scared me the most because I froze water in a pilsner glass and it started forming a sharp point as I thrust it in and out so be careful, you don't want it to puncture your colon! I have seen golf balls and fruit shoved in all the way and pushed back out but haven't tried that yet but really want to one day!

This thread is making me sad, I wish I can put bigger things up my ass, probably it'll come with time,

I had a friend who was anally adventurous as a teen. He was too young to shop at an adult toy store so he had to make do with whatever was available. He said he would put a condom on the handle of a brand new toilet plunger, attach it to the bottom of the bathroom and fuck himself silly with it while masturbating in the shower. Whatever works.

I was chatting with a man recently who said he'd insert the handle of a disposable razor in his anus and masturbate. Even if the safety guard is on those things, I think it's too risky to do that. But he's married and can't have toys lying around so that's what he does. Call me a prude, but I prefer activities that keep me out of the ER or morgue.

@egirlky, handle of a disposable razor sounds boring, I use handle of Gillette power razor. It's thin as compared to a butt plug, long and has a vibrator in it, so I can have it inside me easily and enjoy the vibrations massaging my prostate. especially me being in a place where you cannot find sex toys, i find it the best option. I tried carving a butt plug out of a candle, but I think I need more practice to enjoy it...(I am new to anal insertions, though I have been fancying about it for ages)