Strange Anal Insertions

I guess I am a little too scared to try inserting items that are not sex toys. Maybe this is from reading the horror stories of people getting something stuck in their asses and having to go to ER. Every time I walk past the produce section, I gaze at the cucumbers and wonder what one would feel like inserted. They are very smooth and I am sure would slide easily into my ass. But then common sense kicks in and recognizing that I probably could not accommodate the large widths found in cucumbers.

So I will stick to my manageable dildos, anal beads and prostate vibrators.

I remember very well a cucumber rectal foreign body which I saw in the ER. The patient had to go to surgery to have it picked out one bite at a time while under general anesthesia.

Unless you are diabetic I believe that marshmallows make an ideal object for insertion. To insert just dip them in warm water and they become very slippery and expelling is easy and not painful. If they do not all come out, so what, they will dissolve.

Well, as for me, my wife was giving me anal stimulation using a can of toothpaste when suddenly she let go and it got sucked up inside of me I was able to get it out but the cap came off and got stuck I tried everything to get it out, had to go to the ER they sent me for an emergency operation had to cut my guts open to get it out I ended up with an ileostomy bag for 4 months. What a nightmare that was.

Reading all this answers makes me think that i am quite normal 😃

Not really ER bound but I love taking an enema and putting in a couple super absorbent tampons. The tampons fill up and give a great full feeling. I'll wear them a while then pull them out as I expel the enema. so once after a few drinks I put in 6 tampons. The feeling was so sweet as they absorbed the water. I tied the strings together after inserting them so I wouldn't lose any. I held it as long as I could and when it was time to expel I pulled on the strings but obviously 6 inflated tampons were not going to come out. After a short panic, I cut the knot and was able to pull them out 1-2 at a time. I still wear the tampons but limit it to 2 or maybe 3.

I cut the base off a pleasure tree and dropped down on it. It was fantastic when the largest of the three bulges slipped past the sphincter and out of reach. Ive never had a problem letting it come back out. and I drop down hard on it many times before I climax.

About the toilet plunger stuck to the floor....

Years ago ago my father had a job as an insurance claims adjuster, and I remember him telling my mom this awful story while I overheard. It seems the policy holder had become deceased. He was a 30-something guy whose g/f became alarmed when she didn't hear from him, and finding his apartment door locked she finally got the building superintendent to open up to see if he was OK. He was not.

They found him nude in the bathroom, very dead, his penis and hand still slathered in lubricant. He had been masturbating while riding up and down on the handle of the plunger, which was still both firmly stuck to the bathroom floor and deeply inserted in his rear end. The police speculated his foot had slipped, and the long wooden handle of the plunger had impaled his body and ended up with the upper end of it just making a bulge under the skin of his neck.

Awful story, awful outcome, but please do be extra careful with inserting a plunger handle!

Hugs,

Diane

^^^^ That IS how they execute people by impalement in the middle east, only the rod they use is sharpened.

*sigh* A chain dog collar--holding onto both rings. Felt great, and substituted nicely for the beads I'm not going to go humiliate myself buying. But it could have easily slipped too far, pinched, or shredded some important tissue. It was by no means rated for that use, though I wonder if there is a kind of 'string' of closely spaced beads that could replicate that feeling.

One of my favorite anal insertion objects while traveling for work and staying alone in hotels was a Kielbasa sausage. Before arriving at the hotel, I would stop at the local supermarket and examine all the possibilities for anal fun in the vegetable and meat departments. One day I settled on a nice sausage and purchased it. The clerk probably wondered why my hands were shaking when I checked out, lol!. Back in my room, I soon found that the sausage had as wonderful consistency, firm yet flexible and spongey a bit, and went into me with not much effort at all. As I was sliding my new friend in and out joyously, it broke in half and a big portion ended up in my rectum. Every ER horror story I had ever heard came to mind! I was able however to get to the toilet, and because I was so lubricated and dialated already, I was able to push it out. ONe would think that this would make me stop such behavior, but rather, I just started covering them in a condom with a string tied to it for a safety feature. This worked great, because now I could get the entire sausage inside me.

I have pretty much used anything I could find! Toothbrush hairbrush bananas u name it I've tried

And Slowhand, using a kielbasa means that you'd smell like kielbasa: good way to bring some public humiliation into the mix!

Loved reading about all of the things that people have inserted. 😃 I have always loved putting things in my ass. lots of times when I've been a little horney and in a store I'd look at something and try to imagine what it would feel like imbedded in me. nice to know that I'm not alone in this.

Some of the weirder ones have probably been screwdriver handles & a 10" glowstick, that is except for all the food items.

A lot of things that were supposed to be eaten have instead found their way into my bum, from dozens of grapes to leeks an cucumbers.

Annethrax, Your stories and energies are and have aroused me even more while stimming. A tenz unit and stim butt plug, what a ride.

I also since my early 20s put everything in my butt, the longest was 11"- 2" Vibrating dildo. Cucumbers, zuccini and sqaush are my favorite. One nite I lubed upy metal bed post, the nob on it 5" long and over2" wide.I assult my anus with it.

Love

Wooden handle for a toilet plunger. Only thing I could find of a diameter I wanted. Only in four inches or so. And plastic rods for closing blinds in a hotel room. I hadn't packed anything suitable and that was all I could find. I wonder if maids routinely wipe those down. They would sure make a wicked device for smacking a bottom

Golf club handle...

I'm a bad girl when it comes to anal insertions. I loved playing with the handle end of a baseball bat in my butt except I always thought the 36 inches was too long, heavy and unwieldy for easy play, so I had my husband take the major league baseball bat and cut off the ball hitting end, shortening the bat to 20 inches long. He rounded the cut end, sanded it and coated the entire remaining bat with several coats of polyurethane. It is waterproof, beautiful and smooth as glass.

That leaves the knobby end of the handle to be more easily manipulated as it is inserted deep into the colon. The end with the bulge around the handle can be inserted a good 16 inches or so, leaving about four inches to hold onto. The inserted knobby part of the handle makes an amazing sensation inside as it is firmly stroked in and out and rubbed left, right, anterior and posteriorly deep inside the colon. I get wet thinking about it!

My first homemade toy was from a baseball bat. I think I still have it. I put it on a shop smith and made an anal bead shaped dildo out of it.

Just saw a facebook post or someone making a Donald Trump butt plug----it sort of looks like him too----(I think he was selling them for 24 or 25 dollars on line)

I think I have mentioned this before but you should try and ear of sweet corn after being cleaned out---then keep the corn com for an outhouse butt wipe------good recycling

I am going to have to try some of these - there's a broom handle that could use a couple of coats of polyurethane. 😉

I have recently been using a nice bulbous shovel handle about 1 1/2 inch in diameter at the wide end, lube it and me up, and rock back and forth on it. Smooth and well painted with poly, it comes out clean and easy. Feels sooo good in there.

I have a wiffle ball bat that is 1.5 inches at the big end, and a knob on the small end. I can lube it with vaseline and get the big end about 12 inches up my rectum before meeting resistance, but I can take the small end more than 20 inches. It feels really stimulating to feel the knob breach the sigmoid and internal valves when going in and out. Gentle and safe (and lots of lube) is the key to pleasure and not pain.

As a physician I must caution members about using too large objects to dilate the anus. I have seen rectal tears from this. I've also seen rectal perferation from a patient who tried to disimpact himself with a wooden spoon. He died after a long course of peritonitis. Beware! How ignominious to die from a moments play.

I have tries carrots, candles, ice cubes and hot dog on my partner 😃

Me I used the handle of a screwdriver

I like Susie's idea of a cut down baseball bat. That sounds like a lot of fun. Was at a BBQ with some friends last night and a couple of them were drinking Bud Light from the aluminum bottles. Nice rounded edges on the base of the bottle would make for easy insertion...looks enjoyable. Have to try it soon, I think.

I have a male friend that told me one day he could take the handle end of a pick or mattock handle. Now I know I would like that so I tried it and 'wanted more' so I can get the large end of the handle in. 😃 The length of the handle is nice because it is very convenient to let the other end onto the floor and back up onto the handle. Ohhhhh so nice going it.