[font=verdana][/font]I had a cystoscopy a couple of years ago, and there was quite a bit of "ceremony" around the procedure.
The nurse, an attractive Asian woman around 30, maybe younger, told me to undress from the waist down. The doctor's instruments were on a table to the side, covered by a cloth.
The nurse gave me a smock sort of thing to put on, and told me to get on the table and put my feet in the stirrups, scoot down, usual drill. I wasn't frightened or particularly embarassed. I was more curious than anything else. I think the nurse found my attitude a bit odd.
Then she says, "I will now cleanse your penis." Yes, she said "cleanse." I think I said "fine," but my mind said, "be my guest!"
Next, she said, "I will now put in some numbing gel" or something like that. She gets a syringe full of lidocaine-infused lube and shoots the stuff down my urethra. It's a bit cold, but no big deal.
Ordinarily, the lube would leak out, but they have this little clip (like the triangular ones that you use to hold papers together) that they use to clamp the penis closed, and the nurse proceeds to apply it. Not painful, and not exactly unpleasant, either. And it was one thing I hadn't previously tried.
It takes a few minutes for the lidocaine to work, so the nurse leaves the room. I'm left there with my legs in the stirrups wearing this dopey smock, with my penis clamped with a big paper clip. I can't do anything about the clip, but the smock has to go. I toss it to a table to my right.
There are two kinds of cystoscopes, flexible and rigid. The flexible kind is like a goose-neck gizmo, while the rigid scope is a metal pipe, maybe a foot long. Rigid scopes are supposedly more painful. This guy uses the rigid scope, which suits me fine. In for a dime, in for a dollar.
After 10 minutes, the nurse returns, sees the smock on the table, laughs a little bit, and puts it back over my crotch. I think, 'Fine, lets not argue about it' and let her have her way. Right before the doctor comes in, she removes the clip.
The doctor comes in, says, "just think of nothing." What does that mean? I ask. "Just, nothing, he says." OK, cool. It's Zen and the art sticking a metal pipe in the penis, let's get started.
I'm kind of half sitting up, and the doctor says, lie back. I do, but I'm really disappointed, because I want to see the show. Hey doc, that's my penis you're sticking that thing in, I have a right to watch. Didn't say it, but I should have.
I did say, "I hope you're going to go slowly." He says, "Nope, fast is best." And before I can think, "You're damn right this is going to hurt" he holds my penis at about a 90 degree angle to my body, rams the scope down, and deftly does this underhanded tennis-swing kind of move that gets the rest of the scope home, all the way past my prostate and into my bladder.
Whew! Now that was something!
The procedures takes about 15 minutes. I can feel him filling and draining my bladder with cold water, and I can feel the scope moving around.
Interesting, and not all that painful until he flips the business end of the scope around and starts doing something like pinching, hard, the lower, outside wall of my bladder and the bladder neck (which is fairly close to the inside base of my penis. This hurts, but it doesn't last long.
He withdraws the scope, which I really feel, because the lidocaine is wearing off. I'm tired, but not unhappy; it's been educational.
Next time, I'll be sure to watch.