Bare bottom is the only way to go. I also prefer a harder spanking rather than a stinging one. It's hard for me to take him seriously or not get aroused if he doesn't do it as it was done to me as a kid. Or if he doesn't pull out his stern voice. I need a bit of humiliation whether it be through his voice, or position, or through him making me cry. Being over his lap, feeling his excitement only makes me excited. However, if he could bend me over his lap and not be excited, then that would probably be a perfect spanking for me, as long as he kept it serious.