First play exam

In two days, any advice?

DO NOT be restrained unless you know your partner very well.

Have you ever met this person face to face?

Ok we already agreed to that. How do we know when we are role playing or when it is for real STOP.

Have a safe word.

Have you met your ""doctor" in person and established a rapport with him/her? Has he provided you a pre-exam checklist with questions concerning likes and dislikes. Has he asked what your redlines are? I like to use a simple safe word like "red light","yellow light" and "green light", to stop, slow down or continue play scenes.

Fetcurious.

I see from your recent post that your proposed play examination is due in the next day or so. Given that you have uncertainties I would definitely recommend that you at least postpone your arrangement for the time being whilst you examine and consider what I'm about to say.

I've been a playdoc for some 23 years and have always encouraged my proposed patients to follow my recommendations, even though I know that I'm safe to be with. They need to meet me feeling fully safe and confident about all aspects of our meeting if they, and I, are to get the best out of it. I'll state my recommendations and my procedure in chronological order.

1. Talk to your proposed playdoc at length, preferably by IM or email so you can archive your chat for review later. Ask as many questions as you need to establish the playdoc's experience and competence. Find out exactly what is proposed for the examination.

2. If you decide that you'd like to meet then ask for at least three referees from amongst the playdocs existing patients. You'll need to at least email with them directly, preferably IM chat with them and preferably they should be Zity members too. They probably won't discuss their personal experiences with the playdoc but they will confirm if he's safe, sane and respectful.

3. Insist that the playdoc gives you his real name and at a meeting brings photoID to support that. Obtain his vehicle description and registration plate details. You should give these details to a good and trusted friend, if necessary in a sealed envelope. That person will be your Safe Person and they need only know that you are meeting someone new. Tell them where the meeting is to be, room number too if possible.

4. Check the details when you meet up. If they tally then call your Safe Person from a public venue such as a coffee shop and say all seems well. Arrange to call at specified intervals to say all is still OK - and again when you leave. Make sure your playdoc knows you have done all of this.

No genuine and responsible playdoc will be bothered by these precautions. If there are problems with the personal details or an unwillingness to comply then you must walk away - swiftly. If you feel uneasy then you're not going to enjoy the meeting and you may be at risk. Remember that even with those precautions there is still risk in being alone with a virtual stranger.

I know that all of what I have said might seem irksome and might result in you not meeting. My maxim though is - Play Nice, but Play Safe!

Ensure you have a safe call person with whom you can check in with before and after your meeting and that they know where you will be, (and with whom if you wish to tell them that much information). If you are not able to do this for any reason consider leaving details of your meeting/person meeting with in a place at home where you know if could be found by family or friends. If it doesnt feel right dont go ahead - Instinct counts on these meetings, use your judgement wisely and never put yourself in any danger. If it doesnt seem right, make your excuses and leave.

Ditto to all of the above. I have to say that from the questions you're asking,I don't have full confidence that you've done the appropriate background checks, but you must make up your own mind on the matter. I have heard people say that they had second thoughts when they met someone for the first time. Then, the person they were meeting started whining about how far they had traveled, etc. It doesn't matter, this is your LIFE we're talking about and it's your #1 job to protect yourself.

Ditto to all of the above.

Same here! I'm glad to see that y'all have concern for safety and wellbeing of[color=#000000] fetcurious[/color].

[color=#000000]Fetcurious[/color], I hope you have a good time, but take precautions.

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..... this is your LIFE we're talking about and it's your #1 job to protect yourself.

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[color=#000000]Dittos again.[/color]

I like bigK's ideas and hereby give notice they are now stolen for use by Skybear.

Cheers all

Skybear

As was mentioned, in regard to your specific concern, a safe word is a good way to ensure that your "doctor" knows that you want them to stop doing something, as opposed to saying "stop" as part of the role play when you really want it to continue. Before ANYTHING happens, be sure that you have a lengthy discussion as to what each of your expectations are. Set limits which will not be exceeded, which you expect to be comfortable with. Then choose a safe word: a word which means STOP--for real--and will act like pressing the pause button on the role play, so you can discuss what's happening, and decide if you want to end the exam, change something, or simply put an end to a specific thing that's happening, or about to happen, in the exam. The word can be something like "red"--it should be something that wouldn't normally be said in the course of the exam play. One of my patients chose "pineapple".

I think you should definitely meet them at a public place several hours before you're going to do anything intimate, whether patient or doctor. You don't know if the other person is sane, stable, serial murderer/rapist, etc. If your alarm bells start ringing, walk away. I follow that rule every time and have met some unstable patients who simply weren't safe to play with.

Goog advice above. When I first met with my patient we went to a restaraunt first and that was it for the day. we spent a few hours getting to know each other and talking about our fetishes and what we were hoping to get out of the experience. I could not wait for the day!. It was so much fun though. we were both pretty relaxed and and I had a wonderfull time examining a female in a play setting for the first time. I was very liberating, being able to just put my stethoscope wherever I wanted. I will never forget it.

It was wonderful and safe and very exciting, so thank you for the tips. I am embarrassed that I want to go every day.

Glad you had a very good and safe experience.Sounds like you will be making another appointment soon.

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It was wonderful and safe and very exciting, so thank you for the tips. I am embarrassed that I want to go every day.

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So glad fetcurious that all went well for you and particularly that you were safe.

You did though take a risk. Several members and Moderators were worried for you.

Do read the various tips that members have posted, take deep breaths, don't rush into things.

Don't be embarrassed about your desire to 'go every day'. You obviously enjoyed the experience and thats ultimately what we're here for isn't it?