When I teach the DRE, I use a technique that not rushed. This way, it seems less invasive and intrusive.
With the patient in position and the examiner gloved, place lube on the back of the non-dominant hand. Warn the patient that you're going to touch his buttocks. Spread the cheeks to observe the area. Lube the index finger of the dominant hand. Warn the patient that he's going to feel something cold and wet. Lube the external anus and, without removing the index finger, place the tip on the anus. Tell the patient that he's going to feel pressure. With gentle pressure, insert the finger as far as you can. With the finger pad facing the patient's navel, gentle pressure will have the finger on the prostate. Sweep the finger to feel the prostate. On the way out, rotate the finger to feel the inner walls of the rectum and anus.
After removing your finger, instruct the patient to remain in position while you remove your gloves. Hand the patient tissues or paper towels to clean up with and tell him the results of your exam.
As non-stressful as possible.