Jealousy

Hi, I was formerly on this forum under a different name but can no longer access that account. Anyway, I was wondering since its popped up a lot for me lately- do any of you get jealous/defensive when your husband/wife/significant other has an exam? For me its a sexual thing, and some types of exams get me very excited and jealous at the same time. I know my spouse doesn't see it that way, but I do and I hate the idea of someone else (particularly of the opposite sex, which their GP was before we were together). Mostly any exam involving ascultation, feeling the chest/tummy/genitals, etc. I have some "mental health issues" to begin with, so when I get jealous I get very angry and pissy, but I'm sure for anyone for whom medfet is a sexual fascination must feel some sort of jealousy?

~La Enfermera

There is another thread on the exact same topic posted by a man who was jealous when his wife was examined by male physicians.

The general consensus by the membership and myself was he had mental issues and needed help resolving them.

You say you are a nurse in another thread. Should your male patients have jealous wives? Should gay patients have jealous partners? I don't think so. You need to get straightened out on this.

Honestly, I do as well. And I've come to realize that, while I view medical exams through a sexualized lens, my significant other does not. In fact, most people don't, unless they have a fetish of some sort, one which potentially leads them to this forum.

I like med-fet, but a med-fet exam bears no resemblance to the real thing which actually affects your health and life.

Sorry, I didn't see the other topic. Yes, I am a nurse and I rationally understand why there is no reason to be jealous/upset, so I'm not sure why emotionally it is that way for me. I do have some anxiety disorder issues, though I think its a bit hard to assign someone to "mental issues" on that topic alone. I just thought maybe someone here could relate. Thanks for the input.

I also feel a little bit of jealousy or defensiveness when I think about another male examining my wife. It's just the fact that another man is looking at and touching my naked wife. I know it shouldn't matter to me and I know it doesn't matter to her at at (she's not into medfet), it just does. I'm usually able to talk myself down, inside my head, and rationalize it, and I have never said anything and never will. I'm lucky that medically, she's had very little interactions with men since we've been together. Her gyno and GP are both female. I know her seeing (or being seen by) a male doctor or nurse is no different than me seeing a female doctor or nurse, and I have many times. All that being said... I also at the same time find it hot and exciting to think about another man examining/ seeing her. I know, that's nuts, right... ?!?

I too am quite jealous. My wife sees the same physician I do and every time I visit, he asks how she is doing. I am thus constantly reminded this man has had his hands all over and inside my wife. I am normally a very jealous husband to begin with and this doesn't help any. I've always wanted to go to my wife's physicals but I don't think I could stand to watch it.

I too am quite jealous. My wife sees the same physician I do and every time I visit, he asks how she is doing. I am thus constantly reminded this man has had his hands all over and inside my wife. I am normally a very jealous husband to begin with and this doesn't help any. I've always wanted to go to my wife's physicals but I don't think I could stand to watch it.

Most physicians, at least the ones I would go to tend to ask how your spouse and children or just how the family members are doing.

Wanting to go to your wife's physicals but not being able to stand watching it sure sounds like a conflicted non-sequitur to me.

I don't understand why anyone would be jealous. It's medical, not sex. People who have serious issues with this need therapy, IMO.

Also, why be jealous when the doctor is the opposite sex but not when it's the same sex? They could be gay or bi. Bisexuality is a lot more prevalent in society than many people think.

Your problem is that you sexualise the consultation when really you should restraint yourself doing this. they are professional who take their job serioulsy and dont need to have someone being aroused. you should see a prodomme to control your urge in the vanilla world. we all have fetishes but dont take with us when we out there?

I don't understand why anyone would be jealous. .

Usually stems from one's own insecurities. Which in turns stems from a lot of things. If you're not where you would like to be with your partner in terms of a physical relationship. That someone else may be doing to them what you wish you could be doing to them instead. Having that command and respect, while being "in full control of the patient's body" that you are "forced" to accept, and perhaps you'd like to have over your partner, but can't have yourself the way a doctor can. What your perceptions of a doctor are in terms of power, ability, etc, vs your own shortcomings.

I don't know if therapy is the absolute answer. If these folks took the time for self discovery, to try to learn why it is that it bothers them, and why it triggers feelings of jealousy. Although I may be taking it for granted, and not everyone can do a self introspection on their own.

Not everyone finds someone else's spouse desirable, so the intent is misplaced for sure. Thinking that every doctor would find their wife or friend really hot is a huge assumption.

Again we don't think of our patients in a sexual way. We may sometimes think our patients are attractive, we are not attracted to them. See the difference there?

Mashie

Hey everybody......Woahhhh.....Heyyyy.......Lets slow things down.....Waaaaayyyyy down. Lets just chill for a second. Chill and reflect. Chill and reflect.

So. I happen to be one of the critically mentally disturbed some of you speak of. But. But, I'm not disturbed. I'm not crazy. Not insecure....Quiet the opposite. Not as such that I don't recognize I am a touch narcissistic. Thats gotta be worth something? The recognizance of such?? I have a regular physician I see at least once a year, usually more often. She's never suggested I have mental problems. Never even hinted at it. I do have a terrible case of White Coat Hypertension. I do not think that qualifies as crazy though. It's frustrating as hell. But....Crazy??? That would be a stretch, wouldn't it?

By all outward appearances, behavior, social activities, upbringing, etc., etc, I am your average 1% er......Been that way since birth. No shit. I myself was kinda like???? WTF?? Apparently to be a 1%, this from I honestly don't remember the source, It wasn't Buzzfeed or some there mindless "Source"...Were that the case, it wouldn't have stuck with me. I distinctly remember elbowing the wife, and with my finger, pointing out the sentence stating what.....Actually ALL it took to technically be a 1%er.....We were with another couple, and I just wanted to secretly show her....Then kinda stick my chest out for giggles. The whole movement was near brainless to begin with.....Shit...I tend to just go on and on and on.....Sorry. Forgive me. I get sidetracked easily. and it's not even that important. I'm throwing it out for shits and giggles mostly. I'm building up to something, you see? Anyway. Net worth of 2M maybe? 1.5? and/or >350K year. It doesn't matter. I wasn't raised as if......as if anything.....I was raised like everyone else I knew. My folks probably had older vehicles, truth be known. We didn't pay anyone to mow our yard. Maybe had cornbread more than others I knew. We had potatoes almost every damn night of the week. One way or another. I'm well read and well travelled. None of that matters. Maybe a little bit. To get to the point, I'm very comfortable wherever I may be. Be it on the first Tee at Augusta National, or my home course.....Or perhaps at the stockyards, knee deep in shit, be they in Dallas, TX or right here in my little ol county. Now, among many, many other things that I am, or participate in, I am a Cardiophile. First and foremost, I am a Cardiophile.

I love most anything to do with medicine. I like the setting, the clothing, the vocabulary. I like the smell, even. A pretty woman, in well fitted scrubs, stethoscope around her neck.....Hair pulled back....Well. You see my name...The same girl in civilian clothes that knocks me out in scrubs and a stethoscope might not garner a second glance otherwise.

The point? Yes. I'm working up to that. I am married to a beautiful young lady 8 years my junior. We have been together and or married the better part of going on 20 years now. I told her everything there was to know about me very early on in our relationship. Every. Damn. Thing.......By the time we met, I finally had figured out that I was not going to change. Not on some one elses bequest anyway. So just as well declare your faults/quirks/habits/proclivities right up front, so the first time I don't come home until after sunup with lipstick stains on my.....I'm kidding....Just a joke. Where was I?

From almost my very first girlfriend....Real girlfriend. Say, 8'th grade. From that little lady to present, there hasn't been a girl I cared about that when told me they were going to a doctor, a twinge of jealousy didn't hit me. For years and years, I never told a soul about my affinity to the heart. Not just the sound, or the thought of the sound....Or pictures of it, but....Everything heart. From the examination of, to the instruments used for said examination.....Down to something as simple as a nurse with two fingers on my radial....Counting my pulse and respirations....She didn't think I knew she was counting my breaths, but.....Being a Cardiophile and all, I read. A lot. Anything I could muster.

A twinge of jealousy. That jealousy is not and was not because some doctor, some stranger, be they male, female, white, black, big, small.....Not because any of the reasons many of you have suggested. I didn't think the doctor was going to fall in love with my girl. I didn't think my girl was going to fall in love with the doctor.....Or a nurse for that matter and leave me. I couldn't give two shits if he liked at her hoo hoo, or pinched her nipples.....Thats not what gets me going. There was no jealousy because I am fucking insecure. Nor am I mentally challenged or troubled. Now, I cannot speak for all here, just myself. I would reckon that I am in fact speaking for others by the very nature of this little kink. Not a one of the others need be a Cardiophile either. It is not about the heart. To me it is, to someone else, it may well be the breast exam, the palpation of their SO's abdomen, the list goes on and on.....

Jealous, initially, since I never hinted at wanting to do as such.....Take her pulse, auscultate her heart ,her carotids, palpate her femoral, etc., etc., etc., I was and still am to this day, just a little jealous that whomever it may be, is listening to my girls heart. Is fortunate enough to feel her pulse in her radial, feel and hear it in her brachial as they take her blood pressure.....Not a single one of them giving any of it a second thought. It's just part of the job. It's what they do all day. To 99% of the folks out there, none of that is any different than having their fucking oil changed. OK? It's nothing. Be it the perspective of the guy changing the oil, or the person paying to have their oil changed. Its nothing. To the guy that gets off thinking about all that shiny, slimy, slippery oil......It's something. It is something special.

My wife invites me to every single appointment she has ever had since I sort of explained the deal to her many years ago. She gets it. She's not into it, but she gets it. She plays along well, and I figure at that I've got it way better than plenty others. I'm probably a 1% there too, as many I know wouldn't dare come off with their little sexual secrets.

I hope I explained this so all understand. Anything to do with the heart is extremely intimate.....To me. Not you, lest you be a Cardiophile. To me, it is the most intimate part of me I can share with you. So by default,(In my head) your heart is the most intimate part of you that you in turn share with me. I know the doctor isn't getting off to my wife's heart. Her tits, her cunny, her pretty face and fantastic smile. Her wonderful personality even. It's not about that. I just know he/she/it/they gets to listen to her heart at a time I do not. That makes me long even more to be with her. Listening to her. The person behind the act is irrelevant. It is the act itself that makes you dread the day. It's not some crazy ass......If I see that doctor, I'm gonna kick his ass.....Touching my girl.....That, you would have to be nuts. Or getting angry with the SO for going to a Dr.????? OK....I think I've tackled the subject. If anyone here thinks I'm a lunatic, please speak up. If I have not explained my position well enough, please ask. I am seeking input.

Thanks for the platform.

Wow... I am soooooo regretting bringing back this old thread!!!

Silly me, I thought this was just asking the question of if I felt any jealousy at all when my wife had an exam. I didn't realize there were so many layers to the question or my own mental, social, physical, and economic deficiencies. Wow.

Hey everybody...... Woahhhh..... Heyyyy....... Lets slow things down..... Waaaaayyyyy down. Lets just chill for a second. Chill and reflect. Chill and reflect.

So. I happen to be one of the critically mentally disturbed some of you speak of.

@luvnurses62 Uh... what? No one here was yelling or screaming nor making wild accusations of someone being “mentally disturbed.”

And wait... are you a 1%er??? Cause I’m not sure... Also, WTH does that have to do with anything?

If I have not explained my position well enough, please ask.

No, thanks anyway, we’ve read enough.

:endSarcasm;

felt any jealousy at all when my wife had an exam.... mental, social, physical, and economic deficiencies.

Jealousy IS a complex concept, when you begin to explore what potentially plays into it. Of which there is a root cause, and root causes can vary.

I certainly get the jealousy thing! I've experienced my wife going to male Doctor's for 39 years. What I have had to work so hard to get to do to her and how I get to see her, she seems to freely allow male Doctor's to do to her on demand! LOL. It did bother me when I was in my twenties, she would say it was embarrassing and to think nothing of it. She has always wanted to see male Doctors and she says it does nothing for her. Even though I was jealous I would still really get turned on. Now I wouldn't want it any other way. I go with her for all her exams now and have for the last ten years or so. It still is a little of a jealous feeling, anxious feeling, but mostly exciting feeling now! Even though she says it's not a turn on for her she is super sexually charged for a month after her exams.

Lots of words - not much to say!

Jealous, initially, since I never hinted at wanting to do as such.....Take her pulse, auscultate her heart ,her carotids, palpate her femoral, etc., etc., etc., I was and still am to this day, just a little jealous that whomever it may be, is listening to my girls heart.

This sounds more like envy, not jealousy.

@CJ1999 I really have no damn idea what I was blathering on about. Other than the tie in later where as 99% couldn't care less about some dude/chick/tranny/whatever taking his girls pulse. Besides....It's all made up anyway. If I had five dollars, I'd sit up all night looking at it. The only thing not made up in that post was the business about the heart. Maybe the WCH bit too. I think the rest was purely for my entertainment.

I will say that while maybe no one was screaming it, it was certainly alluded that if you get a twinge of jealousy and/or as @bbw4doc put it, envy.....Which you may be correct on that bbw4doc.....It really is more envy, especially regarding the girls that I never had the nerve to mention it, but it sure flirts with and feels a lot like jealousy. Sorry. For whatever you call the above slaughter of the English language AND my rambling.

You are correct. No one was screaming it, but a couple of the comments certainly felt like it was suggested that there might be issues if you get that little sting of...Of whatever it is that you get when you're like me. I just wanted to put my opinion out there same as anyone else had proffered their opinion on it. We just had differing opinions is all. Hell, maybe I scanned through them too quickly and completely misread, or mistook the wrong point. Either way, isn't that why we post on these boards? Isn't that the point? To hear differing opinions from different folks?

I'll just say it. It seemed to me, the OP asked a genuine, legitimate question. Here on a forum of sorts where everyone is presumably, kink friendly and open to differing proclivities. Reading further on, it seems OP was kind of getting attacked for the question. Myself, feeling somewhat like OP regarding appointments as such, taken one step further, I was being attacked. I just wanted to put it out there as maybe it hadn't occurred to one not so tied in to one particular aspect of a physical exam. A differing opinion as it were. No offense meant. It is refreshing to see your openess to new ideas though.

@awhap......?? Yes, I know, I tend to be a bit lengthy in explaining myself. As we country folk say, I take the long way to the barn. I beg to differ on the content though. There is plenty of information within all those words. That being my contention anyway.

I have been to many of my wife’s exams, and only a few have been performed by a male provider. Not once, not ever, not even the slightest twinge of jealousy has ever hit me. I may sexualize the real exam in my twisted little mind, but I am well aware that her exam is real, with potentially real consequences. And I know that, for the provider, and my wife for that matter, only approach her exam as the real deal.

My wife and I enjoy our realistic play exams at home, where we both sexualize the exam.

My gf does a bit. She's used to others seeing my vulva on the beach and nude parties and she's fine with it as she says it's just a slit they see and only she gets to see the clitoris and inner lips. So when I've been to the clinic and had a lady there look inside the slit and stretching the lips wide she doesn't like it.

Does anyone get extremely nervous or uncomfortable before their significant other is examined? Hoping to god that they aren’t mistreated, that no unnecessary exams or exposure happens, that they don’t become uncomfortable? I tend to go back into survival mode as if I were a child and want to “save” them from the damage done to me as a child. Anyone with me?

For me I think that it has something to do with childhood trauma in the doctors office and wanting to somehow reverse that trauma, no matter how impractical the means are. I have no intention of trying to keep my significant other from seeing doctors or even discouraging her. I normally just ask her not to share details with me because they’ll make me anxious. This is all a very theoretical thing in my mind and isn’t something that I’d carry out, if that isn’t clear yet. When I imagine my significant other lying there while the doctor palpates her abdomen, and other things that are so intimate to me, I get anxious, wonderng what’s going through her mind, going through the doctor’s mind... if this is one of the chances that the doctor is aroused by the patient (albeit rare) and I also see myself as a young boy, helpless and afraid, and it makes me uncomfortable to see someone I care about so much in a position so similar to the one that I was in when I was traumatized as a child (I’d prefer to not go into details).

Boy will I get in trouble on this topic Please tell me I should just drop it even tyhe vast majority of comments are IMO totally wrong. Yes I too get jealous. thinking about my wife going to male Ob/Gyn doctors

Is your jealousy reasonable? No, most likely not, but it doesn't mean you don't feel it. There's a lot of intersection between insecurity and jealousy. Often there's a lot of projection too. So if your SO is in a situation that would arouse you, you assume they're going to be aroused as well - even if they're not, and if they are, who cares? As long as they don't act on it.

I'm not jealous of my woman's medical examination. I would be jealous if a doctor exceeded his authority. If a doctor was doing something he shouldn't be doing, I'd feel jealous. However, the fact that my woman has to undergo an intimate medical examination excites me very much.

Nope not the jealous except for all of you that had moms that gave you enemas ! , i knew mom liked you best !

@AnthonyRT and I have a loving and unique relationship, but I may be slightly biased 😚 From the beginning, he has never gotten jealous over guys gawking at me. Very early on, we both decided it would be fun for me to wear a thong out on the beach, and it was actually I who brought it up. There was an older gentleman walking around and I had noticed he had a camera with him. I was sitting on one of those beach chairs, in a thong, and decided to intentionally sit in a way where he would get a view of my cheeks, in a thong, between my legs.

For the first few years or so of marriage, Anthony was still dancing, and I would attend his parties with him. I didn't mind it at all when the women got handsy and felt him up and down; I had a few of them ask how I don't get jealous. There's no need to because I know who he is coming home to, and we just have this bond plus the love of exhibitionism so there's that, too.

When it comes to our medfet, real exams dont trigger any sort of jealousy. In a real setting, it usually is something that we both are very keen to get an answer so we're more focused on that then whos got what hand where and why and how, etc. Play exams are different in the sense that theres definitely an erotic element tied to them. In this case, its something we'd both want to be part of, though if we did them separately, Im not sure how I or Anthony would feel-thats a good question. I think it would depend on the context and scenario.

Also, there was a time I was thinking about how I'd feel if he was examined by a woman in a play setting, and at the time, I felt a bit jealous by the notion. That was also before I started bonding with Anthony more with the medfet, and was just kind of participating in play exams for him. Now that I understand more and actually enjoy myself, I certainly wouldn't mind him being examined and/or him examining another woman! In fact, whatever makes him happy and vice versa...that is where we personally are in this journey.

I do so hope you don't let the jealousy get in the way of having fun, being that it is sexual for you. After all, a fetish is tied to our sexuality. If you're SO is okay with you being examined by the opposite sex, too, that should provide some comfort. A lot of what has helped squander any sort or jealousy came down to trust for us, as well as being able to openly communicate with one another. 🫶