Finger going in during prostate/rectal exam

I've gotten a bunch of rectal exams for various medical reasons (prostatitis, constipation, etc.) and found that doctors insert the finger in vastly different ways. A gastroenterologist from ten years ago was gentle, first spreading my cheeks and putting her finger on my anus and then slowly easing it in. She told me what she was doing during every step of the exam and it was a comfortable exam. On the opposite end of the spectrum, my new urologist holds me down with his left hand on my back and tries to distract me with conversation before he rams his finger all the way up my ass without warning.

I'm interested in hearing about other people's experiences in this regard. Does your doctor put his/her finger in fast or gradually insert it? Do they warn you or try to catch you off guard?

Kevin: Interesting post, as I have also been on the receiving end of both extremes as you have. The vast majority of doctors I've had are practitioners of the measured, gentle approach, as is my present doctor.

My one experience of the "ramming" variety was a Cuban-heritage doctor back in the 80's ( I was in my early 30's) that without warning rammed three fingers into my anus . I don't remember, but it likely lifted me off the ground....! Fortunately, I didn't have any lingering effects or bloody aftermath to clean up, but my anus remembered the event for the following three days.

My one visit to a urologist in 2011 showed me that urologists probably do a firmer prostate probe than a typical GP does. The urologist pressed hard enough that I received that "tingling" sensation at the tip of my penis. I've never had a GP exam that elicited that response, although I rather enjoyed it (to myself...).

A urologist friend once bragged, after a few drinks, that he'd done so many prostate exams that he could go from putting on latex gloves to having his digit in a patient's rectum in under ten seconds. I think that probably explains why they are less attuned to patient comfort or modesty during rectal probings.

I've never had a doctor be overly agressive. Students, yes.

The earliest ones I remember as a child following my bowel surgery were just uncomfortable, bordering on painful, having the doctor's finger in there. I think it was just a case of large digit and small hole.

As an adult, I've had two, both from GPs. The first one, who also had further qualifications in gastroenterology, was quick, painless and easy, she just slipped the finger in and did what she needed to do. The only thing I did notice was the cold sensation from the lubricant.

The second one, by a different GP three or so years later, was uncomfortable as it felt like her fingernail was scraping the rectal wall as she entered. If I had to have it done again tomorrow, I know which doctor I would pick.

The ones I've had done were all over in seconds. Once in position you feel the firm and steady pressure for the insertion...then the direct pressure against the prostate...followed by the sensation of the gloved finger sliding back out. Over and done with in seconds regardless of being on your side or leaning over. I will say that there a moment right at the start where you get this feeling of "this really about to happen".

They always seem to use enough lube, but they also always seem to think because of that, that say can just shove it in. I think next time I'm going to ask if she'd ease in versus the shove. Also I've seen medical exam videos and they quite often rotate their finger around in an attempt to examine the walls and yet I've never had a doctor do this........which seems like a good idea?

I have only had a few rectal exams and would not say any of them was done in a rough manner. They are really done before you know it for the most part. I find the Sims position is more awkward and prolongs the process compared to being bent over the table, which kind of ends up just being an extension of the genital/hernia exam. One doctor I had who used the Sims position, did a really effective exam during which he did sweep his finger 360 degrees around my anus and used enough force that caused me to be able to feel the effect of the exam for a couple of days. It was not rough, just forceful.

I've never had a rectal exam but I did receive a suppository from a female nurse once while in the hospital. It was the same nurse who removed my catheter a few days earlier. She walked into my room holding the little silver bullet and said "You're really not going to like me now". I watched her shut my door, remove the gloves from the box on the wall and put them on. Of course I was laying on my back with my feet flat on the bed and my knees up trying to hide my raging hard on. As she was opening the wrapper of the suppository she told me to roll on to my left side. Since I was still recovering from surgery, it was more difficult than I expected and my wife had to help pull/roll me over. I wasn't sure if I would be able to roll far enough to give her access to my butt hole but suddenly I felt something stirring down there and she said "I think this will work". Suddenly, she rams the suppository and her finger as far into my rectum as it would go. Over in half a second... tops. She didn't use any lube at all, but it didn't really hurt. The force and suddenness of it all really surprised me. Not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. I guess I thought it would last longer, be more gentle, hurt, maybe feel a little bit good or erotic... just not that.

I've only ever had one prostate exam so far. The male doc had me stand bent at the waist over the exam with my chest laying flat on the table and my arms and hands dangling from the elbow. An interesting position I thought, but I could see how it made the patient to relax. Keeping the forearms up on the table under the chest can encourage the patient to tense up and clench.

He lubed his gloved digits generously from a large wad of surgilube squirted on paper. He told me to "bear down on my fingers." I was surprized to hear the plural noun as I felt the cold lube at my sphincter. His fingers hesitated ever so slightly before they penetrated my anus. Just as he finished speaking he pushed his middle and index fingers into my butt none too slowly.

He firmly stroked my prostate three times; once along each side and down the center. I barely felt a slight "zing" in my penis when he pulled his fingers out as quickly as they went in.

I was a bit distracted by the stretchy burn in my anus as he dropped a box of rough generic tissues on the table and said "You can use these to clean yourself up."

I thought that part of the exam was a little brusque and I am anally receptive. I would think a guy with a near virgin ass might have been walking tip-toed afterwards.

I've had plenty of rectal exams in my day. I can't remember one where the finger was just jabbed in. I always feel gentle pressure on my anus until it dilates and when I feel it enter I bear down. A couple of swipes on each lobe of my prostate and it's over.

I've had rectal exams by three different doctors, only one by a female doctor, and I can tell she was more gentle than her colleagues. All of them used some lube, but she was the only one to rub my anus to dilate it before putting her finger inside it, and she prolongued the exam a lot, maybe because she was a student and she wanted to make a full exam.

I am 59 and have had annual physicals regularly since my mid 40's so I have had many DREs. I have had a total of 4 different doctors do the exam and they each had their own way of doing it. One did it in a way that was definitely uncomfortable while my current doctor a lady, probably has been the best.

This procedure can be done very comfortably. I think it does help to go slowly when penetrating- just taking a couple of extra seconds to slide the finger in makes a difference. I also have found that when I really relax my sphincter muscles so my ass is totally relaxed makes a big difference. I will say I have quite a lot experience at doing this since I have been putting things in my ass for decades. But you need not be an ass carnoisseur like myself to have this procedure feel at least ok or maybe even feel quite good.

During my radiation treatments for colon cancer, my radiation oncologist did a DRE on me every other day. This was to see how thin my rectal tissues were getting from the radiation. I got these treatments 5 days a week for a month.

When I've had to do prostate/rectal exams I've always been gentle. Lots of lube, talking and being gentle. Gently easing my finger/s in, reminding my patient to keep breathing steadily. Only ever seen 2 hard ons too

Loobyloo, it's surprising that you've only seen 2 hard ons... I got one just reading about it! 😃

I always warn a patient when I start a DRE. I slowly ease my finger in waiting for the sphincter to relax. Do onto others, right? I've never seen any erections but then I'm not a woman either.

Last one I had was a urologist and he shoved it in without warning, then out after about one second. Don't know how much info a doc can get out of something that quick. He didn't say bear down or anything really and I didn't, so wasn't ready. Was sore the rest of the day!

I have never had a rectal exam, but if and when I do, I hope that the finger is small and well lubed.

Never had said exam besides I've heard they can do it with a blood test now a days. didn't like needles but in this situation i prefer a needle in my arm than a stranger's finger up my bum.

Never had said exam besides I've heard they can do it with a blood test now a days. didn't like needles but in this situation i prefer a needle in my arm than a stranger's finger up my bum.

The blood test does NOT replace the DRE.

( I was in my early 30's) that without warning rammed three fingers into my anus.

REALLY? Are you sure you didn't imagine that?

Indeed the blood test does not replace the DRE. Not only does the DRE detect prostate abnormalities but also rectal cancer and other conditions. Suck it up.

If you actually care about your health you will do what is asked. As much as I would love to imagine my doctor penetrating me with multiple fingers, and then staying in there, moving her fingers around for several minutes, then pressing on my prostate, and then pressing again and harder, doing that for a few more minutes -- that's just in my imagination.

The reality of a DRE is much less interesting: You drop everything (if you aren't already uncovered from the waist down) and get into position (I prefer knees and elbows myself). Then the doctor/nurse lubes a single gloved finger, usually puts their other hand on your hip, warns you that it will feel cold and you will feel some pressure, then inserts it. They move it around a little bit inside of you (depending on how thorough they are), press on your prostate a few times, then withdraw and (hopefully) tell you that everything seems normal. That's it. They're usually in there 20 seconds -- maybe 30 tops.

Don't get me wrong, I love getting one. But it's not all that some guys make it out to be. I wish it were.

Had my first DRE from a new-to-me general practicioner. It was part of an overall physical exam ( "wellness exam" ) that I had not received nor solicited in at least a decade. After all the "upstairs" checks while I'm seated on the crinkly-paper table in my underpants, he sat down on a wheeled stool and invited me to stand in front of him and lower my underwear. So I slid my briefs down to my knees and repositioned my legs somewhat apart as the doc gloved up, wondering the whole time what he was going to think about my smooth privates......in addition to thoughts about how exciting it was when I was getting my little kid undescended testicle exams, and the order was "take down your underpants", which I did by bending over and pushing my briefs all the way down to my ankles.

He began by feeling my penis, then each testicle. It was warm in the room, so my un-aroused (and somewhat apprehensive) 3 inch cock and smooth small tight scrotum were somewhat relaxed , hanging loosely, presenting a bit larger. He asked if I had any problems, pains, etc. which I have not. Then he did a gentle hernia exam (turn your head and cough) confirming that I do have a hernia whose repair should be addressed at some point. Other than that all is well he proclaimed, then asked me to turn 90 degrees, and lean over the exam table, not saying what was next. Guess I was supposed to know, but it really took a few seconds to realize what the next procedure would be.

Oh-oh, I said to myself.....I've never had a rectal exam before! I had heard enough negative stories about this that I was somewhat afraid, but also very excited and curious. Doc put some lube on my hole, then I felt some pressure as his finger travelled without hesitation much further inside me than I had ever thought or imagined. I had thought he would ask me to spread my cheeks, but no, he obviously knew exactly where he was going and how to get there. Then began some extremely pleasant sensations in my soft penis. He spent more time feeling around, and commented that the prostate felt good (which was great affirming news to me).

Just as I was getting used to the full feeling and tinglies he withdrew his finger, and provided some tissues ("if you want to clean up the excess lube"). Overall it was an exquisite experience.....wanted it to go on for a good while longer, and wondered how nice it might have been to have a baby-oiled glove "examining" my naughty bits as the prostate received extended attentions!

I have also noticed that some doctors do a better job at performing the prostate exam than others. My GP has performed two on me and both were very painful. The insertion of his finger into my rectum was very quick and painful. The best way to explain it would be to say that the angle of attack for my anatomy was wrong. The last time, he even caused a bit of bleeding which resulted in me being referred for a colonoscopy which was completely negative and a waste of time and money. All due to the GP's aggressive penetration for the prostate exam. As part of the colonoscopy workup, the gastroenterologist also performed a rectal exam which was smooth and painless. Both applied the same amount of pressure to the prostate which had a unique sensation but the aggressiveness of the insertion made all the difference. I do like my GP and will continue to see him but will be more assertive the next time he performs a rectal exam and ask him to take more care when doing the insertion.

My one experience of the "ramming" variety was a Cuban-heritage doctor back in the 80's ( I was in my early 30's) that without warning rammed three fingers into my anus

I at least hope he bought you dinner, as that wasn't a rectal exam. I'm not sure exactly how you examine any part of the prostate or anything else with three fingers up there. It might have FELT like three fingers, but it probably wasn't.

I was treated for prostate cancer about 12 years ago. Of course,after the seeds implants ( called a brachy)i had to get the psa test and rectal exam every three months,

The urologist was very quick and pretty much painless. The fear is usually worst than the procedure.

All I can say is, look at the diameter of your feces, then tell me how much that hurts compared to a finger or a couple of or a few fingers, which most men here seem to want.

I'm sorry, but you guys are full of crap and are TAUGHT that the DRE should hurt. The same goes for catheterization, at least when you don't have a UTI.

SUCK IT UP AND BE A MAN

All the worries about "stuff" being in the rectum is the reason why I take an 8 oz. bulb of water before going to a Dr. appt., if I even THINK he might do a DRE. I've had so many of them, it's a non-issue anymore.

I fortunately have had the same doctor for the past 20+ years. I started getting a DRE yearly when I hit my mid 40's. My doctor is a female who explained exactly what she was going to do and what she was looking for and always hopes she never finds. None of the exams were ever unfavorable. The worst part was on my first exam having the extra lube feeling like it's leaking out as I race home to do a more thorough cleaning.

All these posts about having several different doctors performing the exams makes me feel better that I've been able to stay with mine for so many years. A good patient/doctor relationship always makes for better experiences during awkward exams.