Disclosing Sexuality

I am bisexual but my family doesn't know.

Long story.

I am moving to another city and will need a new doctor.

My wife and I always have permission to receive medical information and results on each other's behalf.

If I were to disclose to my new doctor as I fill out documents to build my chart, that I am bisexual, would my wife, my employer and the insurance company have access and knowledge of that?

If I were to disclose to my new doctor as I fill out documents to build my chart, that I am bisexual, would my wife, my employer and the insurance company have access and knowledge of that?

The person, the employer -- no, the attendance and insurance benefits people/personel department/human resources department in the company--YES

Insurance company -- DEFINITELY. Someplace in your policy YOU SIGNED that they could receive your information.

Wife -- YES because you designated her as a person who can receive your health information

BEST ADVICE -- KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT, DON'T TELL YOUR DOCTOR.

Your being bisexual and your wife [supposedly] not knowing could have severe consequences if she finds out--like DIVORCE and alimony payments if she felt you were cheating on her.

I CAN'T BE EMPHATIC ENOUGH -- KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

ACT LIKE A GOOD LITTLE HETERO BOY.

Why look for trouble???? Ultimately EVERYONE will know.

Moving to another city? Then make sure to get copies of your medical records from all your current docs, both primary care and specialist. You can then make copies for your new doc as well as see what is in your records already.

Is your sexual orientation any of your doctor's business, bar a specific sexual problem? I would emphatically think not. So mum is the word. Say nothing. In fact, even if a doctor asked, I'd wonder why and still say nothing.

In the US there is always the problem of private insurers. Whatever the laws may be, they remain a private, for profit corporation and therefore have all the more motive to go whichever way makes them the most profit. In many European countries, doctors can access a person's medical records remotely via national data bases. Handy to avoid rebuilding charts and medical histories. But remember, it is still only a click away.

So don't say anything about your orientation.

There is NO medical problem you could have where the doctor's knowing your sexual orientation makes a bit of difference.

There is NO medical problem you could have where the doctor's knowing your sexual orientation makes a bit of difference.

I would instinctively say the same.

But what, however about the traditional religious/conservative trope about HIV infections? You know, the Divine retribution for unnatural sex ...

And what about blood donors? In Belgium for instance it is illegal to pay for blood, so blood banks rely much more heavily on volunteers. And yet, people who have outed themselves as gay to a doctor, will be refused as a blood donor. That is national policy - contested, but still in force last time I heard. And this is easily checked because all medical personnel in the country have access to computerized health records kept by your doctor. So your sexual orientation is a potential click away if you to a blood donation drive. And no concealing your real name either because of mandatory National Identity Cards.

@Agracier, That's so 1980. HIV can be transmitted from virtually anyone. All you need is for someone to not know they have it. Nowadays the blood supply is monitored very closely, but still occasionally tainted blood slips through.

On the other hand, I would want my physician to know if I had many sex partners (hetro., or straight), so he could monitor me for S.D.T.'s. He wouldn't need to know which way I swung.

I both agree and disagree with previous posters. I see no legit medical reason why you'd need to tell your doctor about your sexual orientation, especially if you're worried about your wife/employer finding out. I can certainly see legit medical reasons why you should tell your doctor about your current and recent sexual activity. (This isn't me saying "bisexual people fuck around on their spouses" but you didn't specify if you were monogamous, and I'm being a bit general here.)

Your personal desires/fantasies won't change what an (ethical) doctor would do in terms of your health. BUT, certain sexual activity, for example unprotected receptive anal sex, can put you a higher risk of certain health issues (in this case anal cancer if your partner is HPV positive). Your sexual orientation won't change how your doctor treats your case of the flu, but your sexual activity might change the recommendations s/he makes regarding preventative care or safer sex practices.

I'm a bisexual woman. When I was monogamous with my ex-wife my ob/gyn and I didn't talk much about birth control, but we did discuss how my partner's irregular pap smear and positive HPV test might impact my own health and ways to reduce the risks to me. When my marriage ended and I started dating men again my ob/gyn told me about a new type of birth control pill that had recently become available (I wasn't able to tolerate older generations of the pill due to a health condition). My orientation stayed the same, my sexual activity changed, and the information my doctor provided helped me made more informed decisions about my health. You can certainly do your own research instead of (or in addition to) talking with your doctor, but I personally appreciate getting an expert opinion (even if I don't always follow it) in health matters.

On the other hand, I would want my physician to know if I had many sex partners (hetro., or straight), so he could monitor me for S.D.T.'s. He wouldn't need to know which way I swung.

TOTALLY UNNECESSARY.

You can purchase STD tests in any drugstore.

You do not need a physician to prescribe or a lab to perform the tests.

I have to be totally honest with you all here. I tell my doctor everything, and I do mean everything. My doctor knows I am kinky as all hell. He knows exactly what I like to do in bed and who I like to sleep with both sexually and non-sexually. He knows I like to be spanked and he knows that IM injections are a huge turn on for me. Because he knows all of this information when I need meds if they are available in IM form he makes sure I get them that way. He knows I only like injections in my tushy too. He knows I like my temp taken rectally and he entertains me accordingly. I tell him EVERYTHING.

Mashie

Oh wait........I forgot to mention, I'm fucking my doctor lol.

Until I read your last sentence, I was thinking you are fucking nuts!

Whether you disclose depends on how private you want the information. My opinion is there is no such thing as reliable confidentiality. Unfortunately the Health Insurance Privacy and Portability Act (HIPPA) makes all health records computerized, and almost all doctors have switched to computer records, and there are supposed to be safeguards for the Privacy part. Yeah. Sure. Hacking is an Olympic Sport. So your information and bisexuality may be available to the next hacker, & not remain a secret. One of our local large providers boasts that if you're injured in Idaho, the doctor there will be able to access your records in California. So how private is that? You tell your doctor you're bisexual and it's on her records. The nurse practitioner treating your laceration in Idaho gets your records electronically. Now the secretary, nurse, medical assistant, account clerk in Idaho now can see you're bisexual.

Mashie: "Oh wait........I forgot to mention, I'm fucking my doctor lol."

When, I was reading the paragraph, I was wondering if there was a sentence of truth, here, somewhere 😄 😜 😃 😜 😄 I have a woman Dr., and if there was some need, for me to tell her of my kinks, I would, but has not come-up, except for masturbation. She gave me a prescription that kept me from cumming. After this happened, several times, I looked at the side effects, and one of the listed side effects, was may prevent normal orgasm. I told her, that masturbating was highly important to me, and she agreed, that I should be allowed to do all that, I wanted. She, also prescribed something different, that worked well, and no side effects. 😃 Mike.

BTW: She never mentioned one thing about how masturbating would make me go blind. . .Hmmmm!!?? 😃

Mashie

Oh wait........I forgot to mention, I'm fucking my doctor lol.

^^ 😁 😁 😁

A triple!!

Mashie says :

Oh wait........I forgot to mention, I'm fucking my doctor lol.

Give a gurl credit . .she was only taking out private insurance. .what's a girl to do !!

I will NEVER tell my family doc I'm bi. There may come a time when it's necessary to tell my gyno that we swing, but she doesn't need to know that I'm in it for the women more than the men.

Gay, straight, bi, tri ( as in try anything once). It does not matter. Just use contraception and you probably won't have to disclose your sexual habits to a doctor.

The time you would disclose to your doctor that you're bi is when you're attracted to him and suspect he might be into men as well.

Just know that there is a possibility that if he performs a DRE and it looks to him like Grand Central down there, he may suspect something and ask questions. Do be prepared for questions stemming from a not so obvious observation.

Why tell your doc at all what your sexual preferences are, its private no need to tell. He / she will also never ask

but has not come-up, except for masturbation. She gave me something that kept me from cumming.

Out of curiosity, what was it that she gave you? A numbing cream? I can't really understand how that works since I find orgasms occur by mentally letting go, it's a thing of the mind mainly.

I don't see how sexual *orientation* is relevant to a physician. Maybe sexual *activity*, in some cases (such as STDs).

When I came out as gay to my doctor, I asked about whether there were certain health considerations I needed to keep in mind. That initiated a conversation about getting the HPV vaccine. I'm old enough where I wouldn't have gotten it as a part of my routine course of vaccines when I was growing up--and the potential for anal cancer was certainly the farthest thing from my mind. (And being male, I wasn't the target demographic for receiving the vaccine at that point in time--though recent TV ads seem to indicate that everyone of a certain age is being encouraged to get it.) In any case, it was a relief that my orientation was a total non-issue to my doctor and it prompted a conversation that allowed me to take better care of myself. And he knew how to talk to a gay patient, which was also very heartening. I've come out to other physicians and either their bedside manner cools off or they talk to me like I'm little more than a vector for disease (regardless of the fact that I've been monogamous for several years)--at which point it's just time to find a healthcare provider that better suits my needs. Long way of saying, I'm glad I'm out to my doctors for several reasons.

But human sexuality can be very fluid and if behavior can't be categorize as gay or straight, I think some people have a hard time wrapping their heads around that--which makes it hard to find doctors who are competent in working with LGBTQ patients. GLMA has resources on finding providers who understand people of any orientation (though they are still few and far between).