A fragile exam situation

My partner has finally scheduled her 2nd exam ever for next week. This took quite the convincing and now she is only planning to have a breast exam :/. I need to gently convince her that when her doctor leaves the room for her to change she also needs to remove her shoes, socks, pants, and underwear, and let the doctor examine her vagina and anus. She is younger, never had kids and I think her dr raises her gown up to her belly button which makes her embarrassed. She said last time it was embarrassing the dr could see her butt in that position.

She also asked me if it was normal for the dr to touch her without gloves when her breasts are examined and when helping her into the stirrups, which I told her it was. I believe her dr is one of those that wants the patients legs spread apart as far as they can manage.

I basically have theorized she is so embarrassed because being without children the only other time she is in that position is when I am about to lay on top of her and have sex with her.

She does not respond to health scare tactics or any of that stuff so any recommendations to have the best chance of getting her to have the full exam? and bonus, advice for getting her to have sex after she gets back 😉

As an "older woman" (47) let me give you some advice:

In your profile you said she has a problem with having an orgasm. She needs to masturbate and explore her body, probably without you in the room. Let her have the time for discovery. She can ask her doctor about techniques or maneuvers that may help her achieve an orgasm more easily. You also said in your profile that you "have sex on top of her with her legs spread." Two things about that. First, if she likes lying on her back when you have sex, try having her keep her legs together and you straddle over her as you enter keeping your legs spread around hers. That way she can use her legs to squeeze against your penis as you're inside her. My husband and I both like that position. Second, many women have better ability to have an orgasm during intercourse when they are on top and can move their body around leaning and tilting into positions where they get the most effective stimulation. Keep in mind that half to two thirds of women NEVER have an orgasm from intercourse alone and require specific clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm.

With regard to her exam, she should be encouraged to have a full exam and they probably will not find anything wrong which would prevent her from having an orgasm.

If you want sex after her exam when you get home, why don't you tell her you're turned on and want to either make love or fuck her eyes out.

Dear sky123 why do you want to convince her?

She is the only person allowed to decide what happens to her body. If she decides to have only a breast exam so fine. Why do you want her to have à pelvic? If she is not in full confidence with this Dr there are to ways. Either change Dr or go there from time to time to learn him/her better know. There is no reason anybody should force or try hard to convince her to take her panties off. It is her body and only she knows what happens in her mind.

It is also up to her to descide if you are with her during the exam or not. You should again not force her.

In my case I decide exactly what happens to me and my partner is always with me at any Dr. We discuss before we go what is accepted and what not. This only because I know that he stops the Dr if he wants to do something on me that I do not want, aspecially when I am in a stade of me fealing not 100% sure. If I would not be sure that my man supports my descissions for 100% he would not be with me.

I remember my very first gyn exam where I really was happy that he was with me. He stopped the gyn doing things I did not want. I am sure if the gyn had done what she wanted to do I would have never ever gone back to any gynocologist. Women can become 70years old whithout annuals, my mother is one of these examples.

I do not say there is no use of gyn exams but every women has to descide on her own when and how often she will have one.

You as her young husband are certainly very scared that something is wrong with her. But be reassured in 99% of all gyn exams nothing is ever wrong. As the elderly woman 😄 bemow said veryy few women reach orgasm during intercourse. I am "much" younger then her and I only reached orgasms during intercourse a couple of times. I believe it is becomming better with age. So do not worry, exercicing is plessure !

You guys are having sex, and she's afraid of going to a physician to do a physical exam and breast/pelvic? She realizes that it'll take like 15-20 minutes, she'll have some sort of paper or cloth gown, and then it's over. The pelvic exam lasts like 5 minutes!

If she gets embarrassed by what happens, she needs to grow up a bit, and realize that part of being an adult means that you'll have to be naked (and under a gown) for physical exams.

What happens when/if she gets pregnant? Does she understand that she'll be getting exams quite frequently?

Good luck.

Thanks for all the advice so far, her keeping her legs together during sex is really good advice I will try that. Also yes I plan to use the if you want to have kids you will get the full exam anyway line. I definitely don't force her to go and I wish she would let me come with her because I could stick up for her when she thought she had to do stuff. Once a dr told her she HAD to have a pelvic to get birth control. What a load of crap. I told her and she has been sticking up for herself more since.

Tomorrow is the day for the exam. She made herself completely bare with the razor a little while ago. I think that means she is getting the full exam. Not going in with her but she is agreeable to sex after.

Final update for this: exam happened this morning and she did have the full exam. She left her bra on but the gyn just moved the right cup away from her breast to look and then palpate. She did make her unhook it to examine her left side since she reported a previous concern of a lump which turned out to be nothing. She wore a dress hoping she could be examined in it but was given a fluffy robe to wear.