I checked into the hospital on Wednesday afternoon and I was helped by a beautiful redhead who made sure all my paperwork was straight and got me one of those wristbands with my info on it. I'm sure she noticed the procedure listed on my paperwork. That made it even better knowing that she knew I would be having my testicles examined in a matter of minutes. Anyway, she sends me down the hallway to radiology where I check in with another person, a pleasant looking bald gentleman who looks over my stuff and tells me to take a seat in the waiting area.
A few minutes later I'm greeted by a tall, athletic woman in her early 30s who had to be a volleyball player in her high school or college days. She introduced herself as "Kelsey" and said she would be doing my testing today and asked me to follow her. We step into a room right off the main hallway. It's just a sink, a hospital bed, a small desk and an ultrasound machine. I was immediately a little disappointed to know that I wouldn't be on an exam table and certainly not in stirrups. But I was was still giddy with excitement. She told me that I would need to get undressed from the waist down and then handed me two towels like you would find in a hotel bathroom. She explained that one would go over my thighs and under the scrotum "...forming a sling..." and the other would cover my penis. She left the room for me to undress and I did so. I laid back on the bed and positioned the towels as instructed and then covered myself with the bed sheet.
A few minutes later Kelsey knocked and told me that we were ready to get started. She told me that she would be putting some warm gel on the wand and moving it over my scrotum to check my testicles. She asked if I was in because of an accident and I told her no, it was to have a cyst checked. She asked about the history of the cyst and approximately where it was located.
Then she got started. She put on a pair of gloves. A ribbon of warm gel was applied to the transducer and she slid the sheet back that was covering my scrotum. I guess it should go without saying that the warm gel and subtle pressure felt absolutely amazing on my scrotum. She moved it all over, stopping frequently to type into the computer. After a few minutes she changed a setting so that we could both hear blood flow into the right testicle. After that was was assessed, she reapplied lubricant and moved to the left testicle and my cyst. We listened to the blood flow of the left testicle as well. I was completely relaxed and, to my great surprise, never did get an erection. Although I suspect I could've easily popped one with just a little effort. The entire experience lasted about 10-12 minutes. I would have loved for it to have lasted considerably longer.
When she was finished, she told me to use the two towels to clean myself and to just leave all the linens on the bed. I got dressed and went home. Noting more, nothing less. Got a call today from the nurse explaining that the doctor had looked at the results and determined the testicles were normal and the cyst, approximately a half-inch in diameter, was benign.
I have to say, as far as medical procedures go this one has to rank right there at the top. I can't imagine a better reason to have to visit a hospital.....