In the line of fire

Last night I accompanied my wife to her new Obgyn. I knocked her up. That's right, 15 years on sin, 1 month off the pill, and here we are today, 8 weeks in after creating a kidney bean with a 150 bpm pulse. But I digress...

The doctor came in and before the exam began, asked me to come around on her side so that I was out of the line of fire. I wanted to make so many snide comments, but I saved my wife the embarrassment and did as I was told. I glanced over as he cracks open his drawer of specula, to see what he had going on. It looked like 20 different pedersens to me, and I'm thinking... CHUMP.

I'm wondering if anyone else here who accompanied their partner to the gyn and was asked to step away from the Mary? I mean, we were there to follow up on a pregnancy. Wasn't it that which brought us here... We are all adults here, and I was looking forward to a professional take on my lady's lady parts. I mean, I had my camera ready to roll,. It he didn't know that.

I think the doc should have asked your wife if it was OK for you to directly watch the exam and as long as she agreed, the doc should have allowed it.

After all, you were IN THERE making the baby and have seen her before. The exam shouldn't be a secret as long as it's OK with your wife.

I would be so frustrated by that! It would be my 2nd worst case scenario, the 1st would be being asked to leave the room entirely. The thought of being asked to leave after an SO agrees to let me accompany, and then the SO reneging on that agreement due to unwillingness to put her foot down with the nurse and/or doctor.... But getting my hopes up, making it as far as the exam starting, and then having to take a back seat so to speak...ugghh

Clearly though keeping your wife happy was much more important. No sleeping on the couch for you! 😃 Just out of curiosity, did you discuss that appointment with your wife and specifically talk about how you were not allowed to fully watch and were concerned she would be unhappy if you protested?

Maybe the doc just wanted you to have a seat in a certain area so you wouldn't interfere with what all he (or a nurse assistant) had to do - reaching for instruments in a drawer, adjusting lights, putting used instruments on a tray/in the garbage, etc.

I doubt his initial thought was "Hmm, I need to put the husband somewhere that crushes his medfet fantasies."

I always stayed up by my wife's head by my choice. Seeing what was going on below would have been interesting (more in an academic way than a purient one - I see her naked plenty in other contexts where I can do something about it!) but I let it pass, both in the prenatals and in the delivery (though I was there when the baby came out). I felt that she was probably already feeling enough like an object and I wanted to be visibly and tactilely there to support here - holding her hand, right there with eye contact and an encouraging word, etc.

I would not have put up with that! I have been in the "line of fire" many times. As a matter of fact, I went with my wife one time and the exam room was really small, so small in fact that the nurse changed us to another room because there wasn't enough room for me to stand anywhere. On one occasion I went with my wife for an endometrial biopsy. The doctor said he didn't usually have people down this end of the table and told me there was going to be some blood. I told him I wasn't squeamish and he proceeded. And on one other occasion I had the doctor ask my wife if he could show me the cervix. She said sure. It was the best day ever! After attending multiple appointments I was finally invited to peak my head in close and have a look for myself! What a day that was!!

My wife knows what I like, but for what it's worth, we didn't explicitly because me staring at the Mary during the visit. It wasn't necessarily the most important part of the visit. She actually ribbed me later on that I didn't get to watch. I asked to do my own exam, but she declined emphatically.