For me it all depends. I am currently spanking my masseuse regularly. She is a quite attractive, slim and physically fit woman in her late 40s; three kids one still at home, divorced, three jobs...but she takes it easy on all of them, and enjoys her life.
She first gives me an excellent massage during which I get an erection. But she does not service me in any way, because she considers that something she only does when she is in love. As confusing as this may sound, she has no sexual release other than her own hand on a regular basis. She has told me this and frankly I believe it.
After my massage is over, I tell her to strip. And she does. I then give her a massage, towards the end of which I tease her labia to the point where she is quivering with need. I then say, aren't you sorry you did not pleasure me. She responds haltingly, saying she is not in love with me, she is so sorry, etc. So I lead her off the massage table, sit down, drape her excellent bottom over my lap and proceed to give her first a soft and progressively a harder and harder spanking. Soon her bottom is cherry pink and she is squirming and begging for forgiveness.
At that point I tell her to get up on the table again, on her back, and proceed to tease her labia once again. This time she is even wetter, and I give her a slow, and if I do say so myself, an excellent vulva massage and fingering. (I have studied how best to massage a vulva and a vagina and have been told by many women it is the best they have ever received; hope that does not sound like an empty boasting.) When she comes, she explodes and is vocal and physically contorted for several minutes. Real minutes, by the clock. She regularly says it is the best massage and maybe the best orgasm she has ever had. Then she recovers.
I am of course still very hard and erect. During my final massage of her vulva and clit, her hand will stray a few times to my hard cock, encircle it gently but not stroke me, not try to get me off. Rather she is testing my hardness, probably for her own satisfaction. When she leaves (she comes to my house to do the massage), I am still hard and unsatisfied. She squeezes my hard cock goodbye and goes. Later I get myself off.
One could certainly ask who is doming whom here. In a sense we are both submissive and both dominant during the session. What is so good about this is that it has evolved over a period of a year and a half or so, and is still evolving. We both find it tremendously satisfying. I have had experience sexually with dozens of women in my life, and I can honestly say that when my masseuse comes her body is possessed with twisting, contortions, sudden gyrations and the like that last, as I said for several real minutes, as many as four by the clock, vocalizing all the while. She is really getting off on it, and I find that tremendously satisfying. She is drained and utterly sated when done, and it takes her a good six or eight minutes to recover, during which I provide her with juice and she admires, teasingly, my still erect penis.