Embarrassment vs. Humiliation

I’d like too start a thread on the embarrassment vs. humiliation subject. I’ve always noticed a lot of references to patients being ‘humiliated’ during physical exams but ‘humiliation’ isn’t really the same as embarrassment.

‘Humiliation’ is making someone feel degraded or worthless, such as telling the patient that they are not attractive or berating them in some way, while embarrassment is simply the feeling of extreme self-consciousness, of being naked and feeling awkward because of it and because of the situation. Embarrassment can be very erotic in this setting; it can cause one to blush, to have a lump in ones throat, to be tongue-tied, to not express oneself fluently and etc. This only heightens the doctor/patient experience to me. In my fantasies about playing doctor I always like to pretend that my female patients are embarrassed, not humiliated, by being naked for me to explore and this does seem to be a large part of my being turned on by it. On the other hand, I would never consider, either in fantasy or in play, humiliating the patient - I see a definite difference there.

To me, having a female patient who is naked and embarrassed by being naked and by what I am doing to her (over which she has no control) is the ultimate in eroticism. Embarrassment not humiliation - that’s where it’s at!

Medroticguy,

I agree with your definitions of humiliation and embarrassment. Both men and women must feel embarrassed when they put on that open back gown. Having my fanny exposed either for a real or fantasy exam is embarrassing and erotic for me. I have never been humiliated but I am always embarrassed when bareassed (I always wonder about the dirivation ot that word?).

Vicki

What you are saying is true for you. You speak of how it makes you feel. It also is fine for some patients and gives them what they want. Some patients also want humiliation. I tailor my exam to what the patient wants over what I want as the doc.

Whatever works for you and the patient.

I agree with your definitions, and it is true. I have felt the embarrassment of being exposed during an exam, but it was not degrading. Even though I am embarrassed, I also find the feeling highly erotic, and enjoy the feeling. I have read stories about domination where an individual is degraded and humiliated. I find none of my exams to fall in that category.

I don't think I've ever realized the difference between embarrassment and humiliation as english is not my native language. Based on the definition the above list I'd say that in my opinnion, all items on the list except perhaps the first one fall into the humiliation category.

For me embarrassment is the thing, I'm not really that much into humiliation. I think this is again a realism vs fake thing, and humiliation tends to fall into the unrealistic category.

I agree that embarrassment about being exposed and totally naked in front of the Doctor would be very erotic for me. I would not want to be humiliated.

Having the Doctor ask lots of personal probing questions about my sex life, sexual organs and masturbation habits would also be erotic.

One of the reasons that I would like to have a rectal temperature taking is being asked to be on all fours in front of the Doctor. He might make a comment about my large (46 DD) breasts, but it would flattering in nature and never degrading.

Heather

Ah but the way some Drs take the attitude you are nothing special "I've seen it all before" can make a person feel humiliated. Being treated as thought they were looking under the hood of a car instead of treating you as your own unique person is humiliating in my opinion. I deserve to know what observations you are making, am I normal, am I in good shape for my age and number of children, etc.. Don't talk to me about stupid stuff, talk to me about my health. It is sexual, stop treating it like it's not and I would be a lot happier.

Very thorough description, and I'm in agreement, embarrassing is really good, it makes the whole dynamic between the patient and doctor, humiliating only works sometimes. It depends on the scene you are going for, but embarrassment is something that most everyone feels at the doctor's.Good point, and a great job making it.

Thanks to all so far who have responded to my original post. We are all airing our views on the matter and learning a lot also. I'm new here but this is a terrific forum - lots of civil discourse - polite and respectful, yet still sexually explicit. Wonderful!

I'm one who does favor embarrassment over humiliation and so far at least it would seem most agree, but to those who don't, "different strokes..." and enjoy!

I like the description- it seems to fit perfectly.

Humiliation is never a turn on for me.

But embarrassment during exam is for sure.

Embarrassment is, of course, the reason that most 'patients' seek a 'doctor'.

They (frequently women by definition) refer to having become aroused at the doctors office. they hope the doc didn't notice but know that he/she did, they are glad he/she didn't comment on it, they're glad that he/she did nothing to inflame their arousal but when they get home they wish he/she had!

With a playdoc they expect to be embarrassed but know that's very often intended. Humiliate the patient? NEVER!

Thats a great post. There was someone who wrote that she wondered why so many stories had the patient "reluctant" rather than eager. I responded to her by saying that that is the point of the story. If the woman is looking forward to the examination, I dont see the erotic nature of that. The embarrasment aspect of the exam and not the humiliation makes the same point. For me that is the exciting part of the story. And as I read you, it is for you too.

This thread is one more example of why docs (real or play) need to choose their words carefully.

Embarrassment and humiliation during examination would be such a turn-on! a spank on a bare bottom, prescribing an enema, rectal temperature taking, mild restaint, thorough vaginal examinaiton and a thorough rectal examination, pinching nipples, forced masturbation in front of doctor, incerting a foley catheter.

BigK I agree with your assessment and I think you chose the proper words to describe how "us ladies" feel. 😉

Embaressment is having a nurse ask your family to leave the room while she changes your diaper becasue you are wet . humiliation is when she says to you while changing you wow are you are you a wet boy!!! true story i know form my experince.

To me, embarrassment and humiliation are two different things. Embarrassment is something you impose on yourself. Humiliation is something imposed on you. You are embarrassed because you have to stand completely naked in front of a doctor and/or nurse during a head-to-toe examination. Humiliation is while during the exam the doctor and/or nurse laughs at you because your penis or breasts are too small.

Embarrassment will always be around. Humiliation should never be around. Any medical professional who engages in the act of humiliating a patient should have their certification pulled and get 20 lashes, naked while the patient laughs at them.

I imagine a situation that is variation on one of the proposed themes: i imagine the doctor noticing a small pee stain in my underware and beginning to question me about it. when he notices my embarrassment he begins talking to me as if i were a little boy...assuring me that little boys sometimes have accidents. ultimately he "prescribes" that i be diapered before i leave his office to ensure i do not wet myself on the way home. i submit to being diapered by one of his young, male interns. 😳 😉

I agree with your definitions. I find the entire process of the physical exam to be embarrassing, that is, being in underwear and taking orders from a clothed doctor or PA. They also know exactly what will happen and when it will happen and we patients have to wait to see. Of course the worst is being told to drop your shorts and turn your head and cough.

I agree with most of the other comments.

I would like to add that I find it erotic to have an extremely embarrassed patient and i try to domy best to comfort.

I too agree with the definitions of embarrassment and humiliation. Humiliation is bad for me, embarrassment is good and erotic.

Once in a hospital, I was in the room while a sick relative was exposed for some procedure. It wasn't possible for me to escape. I could see the discomfort on her face caused by my presence and I was embarrassed for her. That embarrassment was bad and not close to being erotic.

I agree with most of the comments earlier too. Embarrassment is something you can feel yourself as erotic and exciting but humiliation is something different. Usually you're not very glad if you have been humiliated. Of course, someone may enjoy to be treated as an humiliating way.

Dido.... Embarrassment of the patient is a huge part of the scene for me as well. Humiliation is intentional and would not create a trust worthy relationship between Doctor and patient.

I think embarrassment is something most people would associate with going to the doctor. I remember a female work colleague who, whenever she went for a gynaecologial examination, was so embarrassed that she told everyone she nhad a problem with her foot. Nobody likes to be humiliated in normal circumstances, and no patient ever should be, unless of course it turns you on.

Humiliation can be a real turn-on if consentual.

Humiliation is something stronger than embarrassment. You can be embarrassed at the doctor during an exam but you may find it later very stimulating and exciting. If you have been humiliated, it's probably something what you do not want think afterwards. You will just try to forget very soon.

I agree with these definitions. Embarrassment is a better idea in my opinion.

I see embarrassment and humiliation as a degree of measurement. Pain and pleasure can become indistinguishable. Pain to pleasure is the desired effect. Being an inexperienced novice as a play exam patient, I can only speak from my feelings in fantasy. I guess a good play doc is able to use fear and embarrassment as tools to join pain and pleasure. To convert embarrassment/humiliation into a sexually stimulating, enjoyable experience. Humiliation as a real life experience is appalling, but my experience with humiliation in sex play has been thrilling. I cant help but wonder how this is possable. How a painful experience can become an enjoyable fetish. Such as spanking for example. Not that it makes any difference. It is the fun of it.

Embarassment is a patient's felling and the patient is the subject. humiliation is the feeling of an action carried out from someone that involves privates. i normally perform my exams on female patients making them free of being the subject or the object of the activity

Embarrassment is the distress that a person feels. Humiliation is intentionally putting a person in an lesser position in your or someone else's eyes.