Physical exams with a family member present

I had it a few years ago when I had some really bad pain in my belly. I thought it might be an appendicitis since it was in my right lower abdomen. I went to the doctor at night and my mom was with me. The doctor asked me some questions and examined my belly. He didn't use his stethoscope ( unfortuneately) and he palpated my belly really bad.. it hurted like hell. After some checks it appeared it wasn' t appendicitis. I felt a little weird that my mom was with me during exam..

I think most of us had had a parent present during childhood medical appointments ( Unless of course you were an orphan ). My cranky old family doctor didn't want to deal with an ornery adolescent with a behavioral issue so he got rid of me by referring me to an Adolescent Medicine Specialist because I was falling behind in my physical development. I can't thank him enough. This new doctor really helped me through a tough time in my life. One of the reasons I was able to have a successful relationship with this doctor was due to the fact she advised my mother "If you really want me to help your son then we need to have some alone time. Please have a seat in the waiting room while I examine your son. The three of us will meet up in the conference room after I have administered the physical."

Off to the exam room. She looked at me and said " OK, buddy I just went to bat for you so I need you to do the same. We need to trust each other. I understand you are going through a tough time right now. I can help you work through this. I am not a shrink, I am a pediatrician trained to deal with teenagers and young adults but all my education and training means nothing if I cannot reach you. I can help you navigate your transition into adulthood. This alone time with me is a first step and rest assured I am here for you if you need it. The first order of business is to find out if you have something physically wrong with you. Please strip down to your underwear for me so we can get started."

I had my mother present for Drs appointments until I was early teens. Although present until that time she always encouraged me to talk to dr, answer questions etc for myself.

If father came it certainly would have been preteen and it didn't bother me at all.

I wasn't shy around him as felt 100% at ease, I didn't think for a second any different around him than I did my mother really. It's just that he worked full time and my mother part time hence was easier for her to arrange and take to appointments.

(To Turkent). Yes...certainly in the UK, parents had the right to be present at school medical exams. During the 1950s/60s this usually meant your mother. Sadly, my own mother became seriously ill with cancer and died when I was 8. My father (long -distance lorry driver ) would always sign the forms, but he never took a day off work to attend any of my medicals. I was always unaccompanied from age 7 upwards.

It is interesting reading accounts of people's school medicals. Certainly in all of mine (I had annual school medicals every single year between 1960 and 1970) I had to strip totally naked. My penis, testicles, scrotum and anus were always examined.

I was surprised recently, at a Grammar School reunion, when an old friend & I got into the subject of school medicals c. 50 years ago...as I knew his mother always attended. I tnink I said something along the lines of 'Yes, it must have been embarrassing standing naked in front of your mother after puberty kicked in.' ( I know he had a medical at age 15, as I did ). He looked at me strangely and said that it was a bit embarrassing. ..but he was never naked (yet...it was the same doctor..on the same day....& he had given me a very thorough exam when I was in the nude).

My friend told me he had to strip to vest /pants (pretty routine for the era) and that virtually the whole exam was conducted while he was so dressed. He did not have to strip further. The doctor ( he was adamant) did not ask to check his anus. The genital check was very brief ( apparently ). He faced the doctor ( so his back was towards his mother ) & the doctor pulled the waistband of his underpants forward for a ' cursory' visual check and that was that. 'Not too bad really' my friend announced

I was really taken aback. The same doctor had me stripped off completely for quite a while. He checked out my hole and he spent quite a lot of time palpating my balls, touching / holding my penis and retracting my tight foreskin. For all these years, I just assumed that every boy received these naked physical examinations with lots of intimate touching / feeling. Now....I am not quite so sure. Was it just the unaccompanied ones?? Certainly, I was a little disturbed by my friend's revelation.

Schoolmedsboi. First and foremost thanks for taking the time to read my post. It is appreciated.

Factor in you were part of a different time and culture. Many youngsters in my time (I was an American teen in the late 70's/Early 80's.) were also the victims of those heavy handed and authoritarian school doctors and nurses. I have heard many accounts of such inappropriate behavior but I had only one experience with a school doctor. It amounted to me giving 10 minutes of my age 14 bad attitude resulting in a 3 day suspension for insubordination. There but for the grace of god go I. I always had a yearly physical with an old school family practice doctor who didn't seem to like this particular teen. At 13 he got rid of me faster than a pot of coffee at an AA meeting. He was so mean you could poor boiling water down his throat and he would piss ice cubes.

Regarding your situation you may have at least been a victim of a perverted doctor. He knew he could get away with it without fear of repercussions. That is for you to decide.

Doubt all you want, whatever. I am not painting everybody within the medical community with the same brush. Please be advised my statement clearly said "May have been a victim" and not "was a victim". I also further stated that only schoolmedsboi needs to answer that question for himself. Please do not put words in my mouth, thank you.

Turkent & Mrs Ladybird...,I do thank you for your comments. I have detailed that particular exam further in a different thread started by someone else...relating to 'Were you ever abused by a doctor?' On reflection ( from time to time ) over many years...I do think that the exam when I was 15 definitely crossed some boundaries.

But Turkent had it right...the doctor knew full well he could do certain tnings with no repercussions. He was not aggressive or threatening. He didn' t need to be. The Grammar School regime was strict. I was always very compliant. Always very meek and nervy during medicals ( even tnough I had a lot of them ). I always had to spread my cheeks and show my anus to school doctors....but this guy spent longer than most checking it out (no finger insertion though ).

He spent far longer palpating my balls and scrotum than any other doctor and some of it was more like fondling. Doctors mentioned erections when I was 12, 13, 14, 16, 17....but it was always in a detached, clinical way. This guy was subtly different and he talked about it more. I had my foreskin retracted during exams as it was tight. Mostly the docs did it once or twice, again in a sort of clinically detached manner. This doctor repeated the process several times until I began to get erect ( he was speaking quietly all the while, saying it was perfectly normal as he moved his hand up and down my shaft...but only a couple of times).

He was not nasty in any way.....but I recall feeling well, just very uncomfortable with it all and hugely embarrassed and confused. I also felt ( as he had also had me naked for the entire exam ) that he just somehow looked at me in a way that no other doctor had before or since. Dare I say that I sort of liked it? Yet.,then I felt guilty. Let's just say that some aspects of the examination were improper....I am pretty sure of it now...The memory has certainly stayed with me for 50 years or so!!

I wonder if unaccompanied females were examined likewise. Would the doctor have taken the same liberties if the patient was female?

For those of you folks in The UK many youngsters also went through school based health assessments much like you did in the UK. For many parents they let the school systems take care of it. No trip to the doctor and no expense needed if your insurance was basic and did not cover preventative care.

I, myself was spared such rather unpleasantness because an incident that occurred while my older brother had a school exam. I do not know all the details but from what I remember he was somewhat traumatized and my mom was quite upset. From that point on all of my siblings saw the doctor once per year for a physical.

My brothers and I were usually taken together if it was for a physical exam so, usually my dad and sometimes both parents were with us.

Me and my brother had our yearly exams together as well

It is just Turkent. Such formality is not necessary, thank you. I am sorry to disappoint you that I have no intention of engaging you in a heated debate over the words I utilize or the posts I deliver. Soon a moderator gets involved and I do not need that level of aggrevation. Besides the moderators already have enough on their plate. As far as sending a Personal Message to somebody at your suggestion...Quite frankly I am not going to be adhering to your suggestions. You are correct that this is a public forum so I will continue to post what I wish provided thd content falls within acceptable guidelines.

Thank you to all who have replied / commented on my particular situation ( all views / thoughts welcomed & I respect anyone who takes the time and effort to express their opinion). To reiterate the relevance to this thread....I was one of those who was never accompanied by a parent, or any other adult during school physical examinations (UK 1960 - 1970....aged 7 yrs - 17 yrs). For reasons which I will explain if necessary, I had a school medical annually. So I had 11 in all (most children in the UK at that time would have had just 2 or 3). Additionally I was examined by a Consultant Paediatrician twice a year between ages 7 and 12. In short, I was as used as any kid could ever be to having to strip naked for an examination. I knew the routine. It got more embarrassing as I grew older. So, it was not a problem - save horrible teen feelings of angst - per se to be naked and have my genitalia touched / examined.

So why did I feel that the exam I had when I was 15 was inappropriate?

1. The doctor insisted that I strip totally naked from the outset. That never happened in any other exam. He did all the routine things - ears, nose, eyes, mouth, throat, reflexes, blood pressure etc etc.....while I was nude. That part of the exam was usually done when I was wearing vest/ pants. Likewise....all of the stethoscoping and tapping back / chest, abdominal palpating....that would normally all be done whilst Iwas wearing just underpants....not completely naked. Patient dignity had gone out of the window.

2. He made me do a whole load of bends, stretches, squats, sit ups, push ups etc...all done in the nude. Say what you like....this was clearly not part of a routine schoolboy medical. I felt very uncomfortable as he watched me. It felt slightly creepy.

3. He spent a very long time inspecting my hole ( but no DRE), palpating my balls and feeling my penis, retracting the tight foreskin several times until I began to get hard. He talked at length about erections etc.

4. The clincher? Years later I discovered a friend of mine had an exam the same day, same doctor. His mother accompanied him. He did not have to take his vest / pants off. His anus was not inspected. His genitals were only inspected very briefly and only visually. So...comparatively...was I 'abused' during that exam. As my USA friends might say..,.Go figure....??

After the first exam where I was alone, my dad was in the exam room at my request, for all subsequent exams.

My mom was in the room until i was 15 very embarrassing

My school medical the doctor said that my little foreskin was tight. He made an appointment to see my dad. He said that my dad should help me stretch it. He checked me out quite often

My school medical the doctor said that my little foreskin was tight. He made an appointment to see my dad. He said that my dad should help me stretch it. He checked me out quite often

HOW did your father help you stretch it?

I don't know if there's been a thread created for THIS, but.....

Imagine if your parent could not be present,, but yet felt someone ELSE should take be present instead to take her/his place, imagine WHO that would be, and what would be the mental impact on you if they saw you presented nude to a medical professional, where they may have at least a glimpse.....

Imagine a female teenager being accompanied by a male non relative to her yearly physical exam. Have any of the women on this board ever experienced this situation?

I assume that for a young child this would be satisfactory but not as she reaches puberty. Doctors have nurses and I should think that this is preferable? Always!

I went with my daughters to their physicals when they were young. When they got old enough to want privacy I waited in the waiting room.

I don't know if there's been a thread created for THIS, but.....

I think that where parents are unable to accompany their offspring to a medical exam, it is only reasonable that they would ask someone to substitute them as chaperone. It is quite a different thing if a child or adolescent is accompanied by someone whom the parents trust and who can act in their interest or if her or his exam is just overseen by the available medical staff.

When I was younger my mom and dad use to come to my physical.

From like age 14 on mom waited in the waiting room my pediatrician is a good family friend so she never worried but before that she was always present. And a few times my cousin etc and i got joint exams.

I think my last physical that I had a family member present I was in the 5th grade so yeah a long time ago

All through my childhood; until age 16; my mother was always present at my numerous exams. This seemed to be a requirement, even at older ages, to have an adult present to provide consent - and possibly be the chaperone (although back then I don't think they were generally used). I still have memories of the embarrassment I experienced when having genital exams with mum sat only a couple of feet away; with a very clear view of everything.

MCurious. .....well..that is certainly interesting and thanks for sharing it. Yes, I can well imagine it being extremely embarrassing to have to strip naked in front of your mother at that age. I am surprised it happened at 16 though...given that you could have been in full-time work by then, legally left home, joined the Armed Forces, consent to sex, get married (with permission) etc. I would be surprised if a parent'-s attendance / presence was a mandatory requirement at that age.

It certainly was not for school examinations. I am sure that parents probably had to sign some kind of consent form / waiver to allow pupils to be examined by school doctors. Parents were invited to attend these examinations (as they had a right to be present). My own parents (& many others I knew) chose not to attend and the examinations simply went ahead without them being there.

When I was 12, I was allowed to leave my grammar school for the afternoon, in order to attend my very last examination by a noted and eminent Paediatric Consultant. It was at a large hospital which was c.10 mins walk away...but I had to find the correct department by myself and then undergo the somewhat traumatic (as it turned out) final session. I had a written note from my father...but, it was a lot to ask of a 12 year old. This was 1964 and it all seemed to be perfectly acceptable. I very much doubt it would be allowed in 2018!!

I remember mom being there when I was young for vaccinations. She was a nurse so I was used to being poked and prodded. Once I got past that I was never sick and don't remember going to the doctor until I got into sports. Mom never went to those. We had no money to waste on the doctor and a large family. If you weren't pretty sick you didn't go.

I don’t remember ever being taken to the drs by my dad, always by mom.

I am also the one to take my children to any healthcare appointments

Never had the experience myself though in elementary school, the dad of one of my classmates was the school doctor who came in to do physicals. I always wondered about that family dynamic!