Last nigh it finally did happen, me and my husband achieved full hands free prostate orgasm. We have been chasing it for almost a year now, and had many things to learn and discover, The experience was so powerful and amazing that we did decide to share key points for other couples to hold on this long jjourney. Me and Tim are both in our mid 30s, fit, not into bdrm or any type of domination, humiliation or any type of those things, but we do like to experiment and chase kinky pleasure. As for prostate I do use only my fingers(1 to 2), no toys, because I can feel it better. We use only doggy because of easy access and great sight that I get. I wont talk about basic stuff here like lube, gloves relaxing and so on...
First things first, not everyone is made the same way, so we can't promise the things we did discover will work for other couples as well. By saying that I also should mention that we do love each other very much and can talk about every single detail about sex with open minds, for us this experience first of all was an emotional one(we can't imagine how someone could have prostate orgasm without 100 pro cent trust and strong emotional bond both ways).
1)As from above, the first and most important key point is emotional bond and state of mind, we did struggle with this a lot, because Tim needed to overcome his masculinity and bee the receiver, and the constant stress”Is this gonna bee okay? What to do now?” later turned out for us to bee devastating progress wise. We both needed to learn not to stress and just let everything happen and enjoy every second. Tim knows that I love his prostate and everything with it, and him knowing that makes everything a lot easier. Also, you both must bee comfortable knowing that in every human being there is masculine and feminine side, and that's its completely normal for hetero male sometimes to embrace and enjoy the feminine side as well.
2)Conditioning. As I mentioned above we are not in any kind of bdrm relationship, but for last month we both agreed “nono" to any kind of penile stimulation, this did help a lot, because pleasure zone slowly transferred to prostate, could even feel the changes with my fingers. The Hardest part for Tim was to deal with constant hornyness, he did get sexual attention whenever he wanted, but it was “ass only”. After first week his balls started to hurt, because he has been used to cum at least 3 time s a week and was horny all the time, we did discover that soft testie massage helped on this. The looks of testes have changed as well, you could tell that they did hang lower and seemed looser, bigger, softer and fuller on touch. Things work out much better with high arousal, and full testes equals high arousal.
3)What to focus on? You both should forget about prostate orgasm and focus ONLY on relaxing, sensations and pleasure, it took some time for our sessions that ended without ejaculation to feel normal. As a giver you should focus on observing partners body reactions and reacting to them. As for Tim, when his cock loses erection and shrinks abit staying semi hard, that's when i do know that he's prostate is ready for more intense stimulation (faster, not stronger, because if you push too hard pleasure goes away and you are 1 step back), if Tims knees start to clench, I know that his pleasure is high but he is for some reason holding it back. Verbal encouragement and positive feedback here is the key. Say anything that gets the boat going - like “Give it to me. You are doing great. I can feel your prostate filling up, but you need to relax more”, or any kinky stuff that turns your man on. If you are very open minded and kinky, you can even put on some porn in background and give it some wiggle from time to time.
4)Time. Same as for woman, pleasure buildups take time. If you rush things, you will hit the wall pleasure wise, like Tim says, its one point that feels good and you can't get better. By time our sessions did last longer and in the end the pleasure Tim did get was much more intense. Sessions should last at least 30 minutes, the longest session we had been 3 hours, with some brakes.
5)Breath, never let your partner to hold breath, encourage to breath deep and long breaths, right breath equals pleasure waves all over body, which is required for anything to move further. It's ok to moan :)
6) Opening up. Not only relaxing but inviting anal pleasure in mind as well. Focus on emotional bond that you both have, let it overcome you both and overtake your pleasure. During orgasm Tim was focusing only on giving his trust to me, breathing and “not shaking too hard”.;)
As for giver it has been one if not the most intense and pleasurable experience i have ever had in my sex life. The emotions where overwhelming for both of us and the sight was amazing. The orgasm itself did last about 35 seconds, cock was semi hard, but quite small and I could feel the prostate pulses with my fingers, but semen did not spurt out, for first 15 seconds it was long slow stream of cum that ended with 8 more squirts and few empty ones after that as well. Tim told that he's body just radiated with pleasure waves and at the point of no return the waves just all blended and it was nonstop bliss.
So keep your hopes up, enjoy the process and good luck to you all. As for us, we are staying open minded and on my bd as a gift(my initiative) Tim will present the sight where he is taken anally by another male for first time. So we are practicing for it so that Tim gets maximum pleasure out of it as a receiver as well. Can't wait :)