Once I masturbated before an exam. Summer of 99 I was desperately going to doctors trying to get to the root of my chronic fatigue. I stopped working & had given up. (This ruined me financially) More often than not doctors were very dismissive--as if I had been faking.
I had problems with my adrenal glands, was taking Adrenal Concentrate & DHEA, I had been on testosterone replacement, & was also taking thyroid (subclinical hypothyroidism). My allergist recommemded that I see an endocrinologist to rule out panhypo-pituitarism.
I had an appointment with a short-haired female endocrinologist who looked almost like a stereotypical lesbian. Looking at my hormone levels, in seconds, right off the bat she ruled out panhypopituatarism & said there really wasn't a good reason for me to come in the first place.
But, she said she wanted to do an exam. Authoritatively wagging her finger in my face, she instructed me to take off everything from the waist down, cover myself up with a sheet while waiting on the exam table.
She broke my rule. My rule is as follows: tell me what you're looking for, then proceed with my consent. So the conversation should have gone as follows: "Mr. So & So, I want to examine your testicles to see if they have atrophied, do you mind if I examine them?". If she asked decently & with proper tact, I would have graciously told her that at 42, my testicles are the same size as they were when I was 19, then declined. (I get as just as angry when docs expect me to take a blood test they don't discuss first. I expect to take an active role in my own health care, not treated as a child. This is about respect, & that's not taught in Med School.) She already had told me right as I walked through her door that coming to was a waste of time. She could of said, "No charge!" & left it there. Obviously her only motivation was to dot the i's & cross the t's necessary to collect her $165 first consult fee. Self-serving, no concern about my well being. Typical of health care "professionals" IMO.
I knew the testicular exam part was coming, & decided to give her the child-like compliance she expected. I stripped & decided to pretend to be naïve, & when she came back & unveiled me she'd see an erection.
Problem, I wasn't turned on, I was angry & turned off on many levels. I hated that woman. A typical doctor, by implication she had hinted that nothing physical was wrong with me. All that blood rushing to my throbbing temples wasn't going to my penis. I couldn't get it up.
There was also another reason I couldn't get hard. I had been jerking off too much that Summer. Earlier I had went to a pain clinic to inject an inguinal insicion spot with cortisone. The simple procedure was unecessarily protracted to a whole hour, using a young attractive blond as an assistant! She was playful & affectionate with me, & it had been a long time since I had been naked within arms length of anyone like that. I was jerking off about everyday. That cute little blond PA stirred my passions, I was pretty horny that summer.
Hellbent on getting a hard on for the endocrinologist I began to stimulate myself. Couldn't get excited. I laughed at myself, thinking that was the sort of thing George Costanza (on Seinfeld) would do. It was a graceless George Costanza (or Larry David) moment.