This is a new story I just wrote. I'll post it in several parts to hopefully make the reading a little easier.
Food Poisoning Leads To An Exam
I’m not quite sure how I got in the position I’m in: strapped securely to a gynecology table, naked, and surrounded by doctors and nurses.
I had been home for a couple hours after running a bunch of errands when the cramps hit. Cramps, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea… you name it, I think it was happening. Too weak to drive, and afraid I’d pass out if I tried, I called a paramedic buddy to drive me to the hospital. Wish I’d remembered he was on duty that day, because next thing I know I’ve got 5 firefighters, a cop, 2 paramedics and a student traipsing through my messy house.
They didn’t give me much choice about going to the hospital via ambulance, not that I was going to complain. I wanted to go to the ER! Strong, gentle hands lifted me from the bathroom floor to a gurney, secured me, and wheeled me out of the house and into the waiting ambulance. Hands seemed to be everywhere, taking vital signs, hooking me up to the EKG monitor, placing a nasal cannula with oxygen in my nose, and starting an IV to replace the fluids I’d lost and administering pain and nausea medications.
My buddy rode with me in the back, asking questions about what I’d been doing, how long I’d been sick, etc. Together, we traced it back to the gas station hot dog I’d scarfed down for lunch. Figures!
Arriving at the hospital, they wheeled me in and turned me over to the nurses in a small private room (thankfully! It’s good to be on good terms with the ER nurses!). They helped me into a gown, gave me an emesis bucket, and got another set of vitals while one dragged a doctor into the room.
The doctor did a quick eyes/nose/throat exam, asking questions about what was bothering me. He ordered lab work, which the nurse drew as he continued his exam. He listened to my lungs, my heart, and my abdomen. He wasn’t too happy to be on the receiving end of projectile vomiting when he started palpating my stomach, though!
That’s where things started going downhill quickly. I threw up, and started feeling really weird. I lost control of my bowels, and started having diarrhea, while throwing up again, and started to pass out. They quickly dropped the head of the bed, ripped off the gown, and hooked me back up to the heart monitor. I remember a call going out for more help just before things went black.
I kinda drifted in and out of consciousness. I remember vaguely having another IV put in, an oxygen mask replacing the nasal cannula, and being moved around some. But when I finally woke back up, I was on this gynecology table, strapped down, with several medical personnel around me.